The Ball and Chain
by Rambling Coffee Addict
Summary: Kagome and Inu-Yasha are now hanyou and wife, trying to live with eachother for the six months they agreed upon. But things seldom go as planned... Rated for language and citrus
1. It wasn't supposed to be

_Miroku and Sango sit on the set of Masterpiece Theater in comfortable lounge chairs. The fireplace gently smolders in the backround, creating a cheery but clichéd feeling of pleasantness. One can hear the trumpets begin to play, signaling the start of the show. _

_Miroku tries to smoke the pipe in his hand (every Masterpiece theater host must have a pipe), only to have Sango knock it out of his hand._

_Sango: Like you need your life to be shortened._

_Miroku: (smiles sweetly) Sango! I never knew you were so concerned! _

_Sango: (blushes furiously as she whips out her boomerang) Urasai! _

_Miroku: How can you speak that way to a priest? (insert look of long suffering innocence here)_

_Sango: (rolls eyes as she tries to get more comfortable in the leather chair) Whatever. Weren't we supposed to do something?_

_(Both look at the readers, and sweat drop)_

_Miroku: Oh yeah. Welcome to the Rambling Coffee Addict's first attempt at fanfiction. _

_Sango: Rambler was a bit busy this week-_

_Miroku: You mean too lazy._

_Sango: (ignores) So she got Miroku and I to do the intros and disclaimers for the first couple of chapters. _

_Miroku: (takes out a crumpled sheet of paper from his robes, waves it at the reader) Rambler wanted me to read this. (Begins to read) 'Rambling Coffee Addict owns Inu-Yasha, and everything that has to do with Inu-Yasha. She also owns Masterpiece Theater and Poland. Therefore you will bow down before her and'… wait… this doesn't sound right…._

_Sango: (looks nervous) That isn't right, houshi-sama._

_Miroku: How do you know?_

_Sango: Because we now have a bunch of angry lawyers on the set ( points to the gentleman standing in the suits to her left, who have somehow managed to make gigantic flames appear behind them)._

_Miroku: (Grabs Sango) Damn that delusional woman! She knows she doesn't own the series! (Begins to drag Sango a way from the bloodthirsty lawyers) If you will excuse us, dear readers, we must run for our lives. Enjoy the fic! _

Chapter One

_It Wasn't Supposed To Be_

The sleepy village lay nestled against the green mountains, as a child to a protective mother's breast. Rice patties surrounded its outskirts, their waters reverently calm. The village houses were picturesque in their quaintness, as if a painter had created them in celebration of everything pastoral. But of all the houses, the Higurashi shrine was considered to be the most beautiful. Clean white walls surrounded by large gardens; the shrine was a sanctuary in an increasingly bloodstained land. Many had remarked that there was never a more peaceful home in all the whole Senjuko Jidai era of Japan.

Unfortunately, the shrine was about to lose its serene reputation.

"THEY DID WHAT!" A shrill scream echoed through the Higurashi home, causing several innocent next door neighbors to go deaf. Yet somehow, the little boy standing a few feet away from the screaming girl remained undaunted.

"Uh- huh!" Souta nodded enthusiastically, as he stood in the girl's bedroom. "Kaa-san and Ji-chan found you the PERFECT husband, Kagome!" He beamed up at her with big dark eyes, oblivious to the way her left eye had begun to twitch. The problem with little brothers was that they were either incredibly thick to the rising tension in the room, or took extreme glee in causing it. Kagome wasn't sure which, since her little brother did genuinely seem to be very protective of her, and very sweet. But they say that the devil has a gorgeous smile. Souta must have been demonic to be able to grin at such horrible news.

Kagome was trying very hard to keep her temper under control. After all, this was supposed to be her "happy week". She was supposed to be celebrating her seventeenth birthday. She was supposed to be out with friends, laughing and smiling, enjoying her life as a young single woman. Somehow Kagome got the sinking suspicion that her "happy week" had just been thrown out a window and smashed into small irreparable pieces. She breathed out, still not able to keep her eye from twitching. "They are making me get married?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"Yep!" Souta replied, his brown hair shaking as he nodded cheerily.

"To a stranger?"

"Oh, but Kagome, you have to see Inu-Yasha-onii-chan! He is SO COOL! He's really strong, and brave, and he has these gold eyes-"

"I don't care if he's Superman!" She barked, her deep blue eyes flashing dangerously as Souta backed away. **Oh, so _now_ he gets that I'm upset!** "I don't want to get married yet! I'm seventeen! I'm not ready! Hell, I haven't even been COURTED yet!"

"What about Hojo?" Souta reminded her timidly.

"He doesn't count." Kagome grumbled sourly as she thought of the clueless boy who followed her like a lost puppy.

"And Kouga?"

"I would hardly say declaring me to be his woman and then running off with his friends every few minutes qualifies as courting." She sighed, sinking down onto her comforting futon. Suddenly something terribly wrong popped up in her head. "Wait, you mean you've met him?"

"Yep! He and his family came to the house last Sunday!" He informed her casually.

"When I was out at the marketplace?" Kagome asked incredulously.

"Yep!"

"How long has this been arranged?"

"About a month."

So much for controlling her temper. "KAA-SAN!"

The clouds rolled over the lush valley, slowly, licking the lands and leaving golden sunshine in its place. Inu-Yasha watched them from his thinking spot, high up in a tree. Things always seemed simpler to him when he was up there. Nothing looked as bleak when one was nestled against the gnarled bark. Marriage didn't seem _so_ bad with leaves outlined in blinding gold shading ones view. Even if it was marriage to a complete stranger, when the one he really loved was… elsewhere.

Kikyo. A part of him he couldn't quite place what ached when he thought about her. There were so many emotions swirled together that he couldn't quite tell what he felt. Maybe it was dumbfounded numbness. One day she was there, misty blue eyes serious and intense. His world beginning to fall into a steady rhythm with hers, as his heart became more entangled. But then suddenly, she disappeared, and was presumed to be dead.

He had tried to resist his family's insistent orders. Kikyo was his fiancée. There was no other for him. But she was gone without a trace, no matter how something inside screamed at him that she was alive. He had to get married, Kikyo or no Kikyo, or face disinheritance and being kicked out of his family. And other lives were at stake here, not just his. Who knows what his "benevolent" demon family members would do to his human mother after his father died.

He had come to the tree to think, and to accept the inevitable. **Yeah, that's my reason for being up here… I'm not hiding…..no. Feh, the great Inu-Yasha hiding; never!** His back straightened a little against the tree as a cocky smile lit his face.

"Inu-Yasha." A calm voice spoke from beneath his tree limb, causing him to nearly loose his balance. **Kuso, I've been found**

Regaining his posture, he hunched down to see the bane of his existence, his loathsome half-brother, standing with the regal air of a statue. He looked down at his brother with scorn filled eyes. "What do you want, bastard?"

Sesshomaru stared up at Inu-Yasha with a blank expression. "Your immediate demise." He replied coolly, tossing his long white hair over his shoulder breezily. "But father wants you to get ready to see your lowly bride-to-be."

Inu-Yasha rolled his amber eyes. "Why does he want me to get married to her again?"

"Because you're a weak hanyou and an embarrassment to our family, and can't marry into a youkai family because of it. At least she's a miko. That is the best a piece of filth like you can ask for." He really should not have bothered to ask, he already had memorized his older brother's speech after hearing five times a day for the last three weeks.

Never before had Inu-Yasha wanted to rip Sesshomaru to shreds as much as in that moment. The bastard almost seemed to smile as he regarded Inu-Yasha's miserable expression. He always found ways to rub everything in without a word. His very stance mocked Inu-Yasha, taunting him with the fact that he was the eldest, he was the better swordsman (in his mind, not Inu-Yasha's), and that he would inherit almost everything when Inu-Yasha's father passed away. The hanyou's single consolation in life was Sesshomaru's effeminate looks. If the man didn't look like damn woman with his flowing hair and austere porcelain beauty Inu-Yasha would have nothing to sooth his ruffled ego with.

Inu-Yasha leapt gracefully from the tree, landing a few feet away from his brother. "What time is the bitch's family expecting me?" He asked as he surveyed the tranquil valley for a final time.

Sesshomaru smirked deviously as he turned to head back toward their father's large castle. "About five minutes ago."

Inu-Yasha's widened as his brother's word sunk in. "SHIMATTA!"

Kagome growled as the maid fixed her kimono. This was unacceptable. Her mother was marrying her off without even consulting her. Not even a "Honey, would you like a husband as a 17th birthday present?"

She tried to calm herself, sitting in the beautiful stone garden in the back yard, and trimming some of her grandfather's bonsai. She tried to meditate or practice her miko studies, but nothing helped. She had been sold out by her own family. Her own flesh and blood. And why? Because they wanted her to be happy, and more importantly, they wanted her to be safe.

She could still hear her mother, her voice dipped in honey as she spoke.

_ "Dear, this is for your own good. You are a miko. Do you understand how special your gift is? How much responsibility weighs on your shoulders?" She shook her head softly as she smiled ruefully at Kagome. "No, my little Kagome, I don't think you do. Nor do you realize the danger that you will face because of it." _

_ Her mother took her into her arms, embracing the girl the same way she had when she was little. "Gomen ne, little one, but I won't be able to protect you in the future, and your grandfather is too old to worry about such things. So please, put our minds at ease, marry Inu-Yasha. I promise, I did not make this decision hastily." _

Kagome wanted so badly to be furious. She wanted to scream, to shout the injustice of her situation to anyone and everyone who would listen. But all she could feel was hurt and sadness swelling inside her. She found herself crying bitterly as the maid finished tying her obi, sobs shaking her body.

The maid looked up at Kagome sympathetically. "There, there, Kagome-sama. Don't cry! You are about to meet your fiancée! This is a joyful week!" The old woman cheered.

Kagome only cried harder. She felt like such a child as the maid rocked her back and forth, muttering nonsense about how her makeup would be ruined into her glossy black hair. This wasn't fair, but it was logical. She hadn't mastered her miko powers fully, and had already been attacked by some small youkai bands. While she had been lucky enough to defeat them the first two times, without the proper protection, she might not beat them a third. Marrying someone who could protect her was practical. It made good sense. Why couldn't she see it like her mother could instead of getting all emotional about it?

As her sobs ceased the maid began to fuss over her destroyed makeup, grumbling that her fair face was now red and puffy with tears. Kagome let the woman prattle on, feeling her insides had been sucked out of her, and a great void had been left in its place. No matter how much she felt like a child, her childhood was now officially over. What she wouldn't give to trade places with Souta… **Okay, maybe not Souta, the boy still has to make a conscious effort not to wet the bed.**

She smiled lightly as the maid continued to apply powder to her delicate features. The old woman stopped to notice, eyes crinkling in relief. " Ah, good, you're smiling again. " She breathed as she once again continued to fix Kagome's blotched makeup. "You should never frown for such a long period of time Kagome-sama, it doesn't suit you." The woman chided gently. She stepped away from Kagome to admire her work.

The maid's grey eyes beamed as she looked the beautiful girl up and down, admiring her. "What a beautiful bride you will make!". She gushed, clasping her wrinkled hands together with glee.

Kagome didn't know how to respond. Luckily her mother entered her bedroom at that moment. "Your fiancée is here!"

Kagome gulped.

"Do come in!" The eager little boy chirped excitedly as Inu-Yasha solemnly entered the Higurashi home. He wished he could muster up as much excitement. It was just fate's sardonic sense of humor that he would be stuck with tons of happy-go-lucky people when he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. **How the hell can one kid smile so much?**

His thoughts were broken by the woman he recognized as Higurashi-san coming toward him in a mauve kimono. "There you are Yamura-san! We worried because of your tardiness." He sputtered and grumbled slightly at her veiled rebuke, stammering out an apology of sorts. She smiled reservedly at him, bowing slightly before ushering him into the sitting room. "Kagome-chan shall be out shortly." Gracing him with a small knowing wink, she left the room to make some tea.

Would his fiancée look like her mother? Warm brown hair and eyes, pretty, but tempered by wisdom. That wasn't Inu-Yasha's ideal, but he could live with it, for a while any way. Maybe she was fat, or really hideous. Worse yet, maybe they were lying when her family said that she was only in her late teens. She was probably an old spinster that they hadn't been able to marry off for years. There were so many excuses to fly out of the room and out of the house, and he could do so before any of them noticed. Yet something fastened him in place, binding him to sit cross-legged on the wooden floor. He let himself sink further into his sulking, before he became aware of the curious eyes watching him.

Kagome peered at the boy from the hallway, watching him with a mixture of surprise and suspicion. The boy sat cross-legged before the table, arms folded into his red haori. A pout creased his handsome and boyish features, making him appear younger than her mother said he was. **What was he again? Nineteen? Twenty? **

She felt her mouth drop in awe as she took in his long, snow white tresses. Never had she seen such beautiful, exotic hair. The small triangular dog ears that sat on top of his head added to his unusual appearance. They occasionally twitched, making her ache to reach out and touch one of them.

More striking than his hair or ears to Kagome was his eyes. Molten gold, intense and daring. They were the eyes of someone who stood down to no one, who would give in to no one. And suddenly the amber orbs were on her. "So," The boy asked in an arrogantly calm fashion. "Are you the bitch I am supposed to marry?"

_In the basement of the television studio Masterpiece Theater is taped at, Sango and Miroku huddle in a corner, having temporarily lost the angry mob of lawyers._

_Miroku: Once again, Inu-Yasha manages to make a _fabulous_ first impression with his eloquence. _

_Sango: (grumbling in a highly disgruntled fashion) At least he isn't like SOME people, who cop a feel even when a bunch of lawyers are chasing us with pitchforks and large incomprehensible legal documents! _

_Miroku: (Looks around nervously) Not so loud Sango… They're still nearby… Damn Rambler, she better deliver what she promised…_

_Sango: (Blinks in surprise) She promised you something?_

_Miroku: You didn't think I would submit myself to her insane whims without some sort of payment did you?_

_Sango: (dryly) No, you would never be that benevolent. (She suddenly becomes suspicious) Wait, what did she promise you._

_Miroku (Insert the most evil and lecherous smile in the world here) You will see, my dear Sango, you will see (cackles evilly)_

_Sango: (Shivers) Scary. (Regains composure) Anyhoo, see all of you some time next week. (Gets down on hands and knees along with Miroku) Please review, and tell Rambler to get rid of those damned lawyers! WE ARE BEGGING YOU! _


	2. Pragmatic

_Miroku is once again comfortably seated in one of the lovely leather chairs owned by Masterpiece Theater.  The trumpets are playing, the fire is crackling and all is right with the world.  Except for the evil smile lighting Miroku's face of course._

_Miroku: (Smoking a pipe, as any good Masterpiece Theater host should) Welcome, dear readers.  You may be asking yourself at this point, 'Where is Sango? Why is Miroku not running away from a mob of blood thirsty lawyers?'  Well, Sango has gone to find that Rambler no baka and make her pay for causing the siege of lawyers. (Rubs chin in thought) She also said something about getting payment of her own…but I am not sure what she meant. _

_            As for the lawyers, (insert evil laugh here) I sucked them into my Kazaana… Okay, not really, I just sold Rambler down the river.  She cannot presently host this little fic of hers at the moment because she is trying to get in touch with her own lawyer.  (Whistles, and calls over a seventy-year-old man in a suit carrying a pitchfork and a piece of paper) Hoping for leniency, Rambler wanted me to let one of the lawyers read the disclaimer this time, take it away Earl-san. _

_Earl the Lawyer: Ms. Rambling Coffee Addict does not own Inu-Yasha,  Masterpiece Theater, or __Poland__.  Miroku, Sango, Inu-Yasha, Kagome and the rest of the characters do not belong to her, no matter what the voices in her head tell her.  The only things Rambing Coffee Addict does own are her mental infirmities, three bags of Starbucks coffee, and a dead cactus, (chuckles).   Besides, do you really think someone so poor and insane would own __Poland__ or Inu-Yasha? (Lightning from out of no where suddenly strikes him.  Earl the lawyer gurgles helplessly and falls to the floor, now a charred mass in a ruined suit) _

_Miroku: (Shakes head) You shouldn't insult fanfic writers like that.  They tend to be pretty vindictive._

_Earl the Lawyer: (groans and moans in pain)_

_Miroku:  Well, I hope you enjoy the chapter, I am off to take Earl-san to the hospital. _

**Chapter 2**

_Pragmatic_

            This was about the time someone was supposed to jump out of the closet and shout "HA! We REALLY got you this time!"   That would have made sense to Kagome.  She would have even managed to be a good sport and laugh and smile instead of pummeling the pranksters, out of sheer relief that it wasn't real.  But no one interrupted Kagome and Inu-Yasha as they had tea in the sitting room quietly.   

            Neither said a word.  Inu-Yasha glared at the silent girl, willing her to have some sort of reaction.  Kagome sat meekly in front of him, focusing upon her tea cup as if her life depended on it.  The thick tension in the air between them couldn't have been cut with a sword.  Oh yes, someone was going to reveal that this was a horrible joke any time now.  A horrible, sick, twisted joke…

            "So um…" Kagome's gaze switched from her tea cup to her hands as she tried to speak.  This was beyond awkward for the overwhelmed girl.  Why wasn't he trying to start a conversation?  She knew his eyes were bearing into the top of her skull, but she refused to meet them, her face already red hot with embarrassment.  

            **What to say, what to say…  Well damn it, say SOMETHING! Kagome cursed at herself as she sat there dumbly.  Finally, she spoke.  "If you could be any type of fruit, which would you be?" boy, did she wish she hadn't.**

            Inu-Yasha raised a thick white eyebrow at the blushing girl across from him.  Was she insane? "What the hell kind of question is that bitch?"

            Kagome winced.  Oh yes, "bitch", just the term of endearment she had wanted to hear.  It was just her luck that she was fixed up with Mr. Sensitive.  Twirling a strand of ebony hair anxiously, she tried to find some logical excuse for her question.  "Uh, you see… it tells me something about your character.  Like if you said you were a strawberry, I would guess that you were sweet…" **I'm really grasping at straws here…   **

            "I don't need you to tell me you're a squash to know you're out of your fucking goard!" Inu-Yasha quipped.  This was just brilliant.  How did he get stuck with such a stupid, corny girl?  

            A frown spread over her features as she glared at him. "Now listen you jerk," She spat defensively, "At least I tried to come up with some sort of conversation-"  
            "About fruit!" Inu- Yasha shouted incredulously, "Who on earth starts off a conversation about fruit!?" 

            Kagome fought the urge to slap him.  The man was being unnecessarily harsh, and he was making her already bad week worse.  She rose to stand over her him, baring her gritted teeth like an angered tiger.  Forcing her rage into a smile, she hissed "Well, what do you say when you meet your fiancée for the first time? " Her eyebrows furrowed as his countenance remained cocky. "How's the weather? Do you like Kabuki Theater? Or how about this: are you even going to give me a chance?" Kagome's voice began to tremble as she continued her tirade. 

"Or are you just going to be content to cheat on me with the maid? Or will it be some overpriced geisha by the name of Asuka who will tell you that she loves you even though she still makes you pay for the night?  And let me guess, my future in-laws are just going to _love _me, aren't they?" 

"You'll have to excuse me, but I've never been arranged to be married before!" She huffed, breathing heavily as she glared at him.  "Aren't you even a little nervous?!" 

            **This is the first time she has looked me in the eyes… Inu-Yash stared in shock at her stormy blue-gray orbs.  She was gorgeous, standing over him with the rage of a typhoon.  Not at all like the timid girl of five minutes ago that would not meet his gaze. **Maybe she has multiple personalities…** He wouldn't put it past his father and Sesshomaru to set him up with someone completely deranged.  ****But she really is trying…**

**            "Prickly pear."** He muttered softly, finally forcing his eyes away from hers to the untouched tea before him.  

            Kagome stopped seething, her mind going completely blank at his comment.  "What?" She asked with wide eyes.

            "I said," He grumbled threateningly, "I would be a prickly pear." Just because he was indulging her didn't mean he was going to drop his crotchety attitude, she hadn't earned that yet.  

            "Oh." Her mouth continued to form a circle long after the word escaped her lips, pleasantly puzzled by her fiancée. Fiancee.  Now there was a word she wasn't going to get used to.  

            "And the weather is fine." His gruff voice interrupted her musings. "But who cares?" He began to twirl a finger through his cold tea. "I don't like Kabuki. It's damn boring and I have better things to do than watch a bunch of frilly sissies." He said with childlike distaste.  

            "Well-" Kagome tried to interject.

            "I don't know if I'll give you a chance, because I find all of this shit to be stupid anyway.  Who the fuck does my family think they are? I can take care of my own fucking life!"

            "And why the fuck would I cheat on you with the _maid_?" He asked with disgust, spitting the word out like it was painful to even have on his tongue.  "Have you seen that hag? She's like eighty years old!  I'd rather jump off a cliff than let her touch me.  As for Asuka the geisha," Inu-Yasha couldn't help but smirk, "It's really Keiko or Sakura you would have to worry about." Kagome rolled her eyes, causing his grin to widen.  "Unless we were to actually become serious about this whole marriage crap…" 

            Kagome blinked, not sure what to make out of that last sentence.  "What do you mean?"  She felt her heart thud in her chest as he finally looked at her, holding her gaze with his molten stare.   

            "Dog-demons mate for life, Little Girl."  He spoke seriously and intently, measuring her reaction.  "If I choose to, I would make you mine.  For life."

            A shiver ran up her spine as he spoke. Kagome didn't no whether she should be happy or scared, or both, so she settled for dumbfounded silence.

            "My family was the one who chose you, so they won't hate you that much." Inu-yasha lowered his eyes once again, staring at the wooden floorboards beneath his callused feet. "They'll just treat you like shit and smile at you as if you were a incompetent pup."  Kagome gritted her teeth as he went on, obviously not taking much consolation in his assurances that she wouldn't be hated. He was only telling her the truth.  There really was no need for her to get all huffy over it.  "And yes, I am a bit nervous.  But any idiot with half a brain would be."

            Kagome sifted through his words, blown away by his speech.  Suddenly, she couldn't direct her rage at him.  She couldn't direct it at anyone.  All that was left of the fiery fury was a sickening feeling of impotence that made her bones sag and weaken like sand.  "So, you didn't want this marriage either?" She asked quietly.

            "If I did, then it wouldn't be called 'arranged' now would it?" He snapped bitterly.

            "But you're not taking it seriously?" Kagome prodded further, looking at him suspiciously.

            Sighing, Inu-Yasha put on his best "I mean business" face.  He had thought long and hard about how to handle this situation, which was rare for him since he preferred to just rip something to shreds when ever it offended him.  But this situation could not be ripped to shreds, so he had been forced to spend precious time thinking, something he was not happy about.  There was no way this little girl was ruining his plan.  No way.  "Here's the deal.  I have to stay married for at least six months for my family not to disown me.  You need protection until you can handle your miko powers.  I will provide you with a personal tutor during those six months, and protect you.  At the end of the six months, you should be able to protect yourself, and I don't have to worry about my "dear brother" trying to get me kicked out on my ass.  We'll go our separate ways, everyone will be happy."

            Kagome rubbed her temples, trying to stave off the impending migraine,  "What if I don't master my abilities?" 

            "I will set you up with a permanent body guard afterwards.  I will also make sure you are provided for if you turn out to be that weak." He added quickly.  How he could be so business-like about the entire thing was beyond Kagome.

            "Do we have a deal?" Inu-Yasha's voice was steel as he asked.  He couldn't let her know how desperate he was, he would never let her know.

            Kagome was at a loss to respond.  Her head throbbed, completely overworked from the stress of the last several hours.  She realized it had only been eight hours since she found out she was engaged.  The speed at which this entire thing had moved was just bizarre. The dizzying pace of this affair left Kagome reeling.

            More than just feeling woozy from how fast things were moving, she couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. Where the hell was her knight in shining armor? Sure, this guy had shiny hair, but that doesn't count.  Knights were supposed to be gallant, dashing, and chivalrous, carrying a silky red rose. They were supposed to beg the fair maiden to climb aboard their trusty steed and head off with them to their fabulously expensive castle far, far away.  No, this guy, or half-demon rather, hadn't even brought her so much as a fern.  He called her "bitch", and rather icily explained how the next six months would go, leaving very little room for discussion.  No shining armor. No steed.  No chivalry.   There might have been a certain romance to the whole "arranged marriage" situation, but if there was, Inu-Yasha had just crushed all of it.  Kagome had the strangest feeling that he had a talent for doing that.

            Disappointment aside, his deal _did_ sound like a bargain.  She would only have to put up with this baka for six months, and she would get free training in the process.  Not a bad deal at all.  If only she could kill the utter romantic in her who was screeching how horribly wrong this whole thing was.   She might not be able to kill it, but she was able to stuff a sock in its mouth and lock it in her mental closet for now.  Kagome looked at Inu-Yasha firmly.  "You have a deal, Inu-Yasha-san." 

            Inu-Yasha managed to keep the small smile from lighting his face, settling for glowering at her instead. 

            "But I must warn you, Inu-Yasha-san.  My name is Kagome.  Not bitch, not little girl, not baka or anything else.  If I hear you call me anything else I will pummel you into the ground."

            Inu-Yasha yawned, not really paying anymore.  "Whatever, wench." As far as he was concerned this little meeting was over.  

            She fumed. "I said Kagome!"

            He shrugged "What was that, bitch?"

            "KAGOME!"

            "Bitch." 

            "KA-GO-ME!!!!!!!!"

            "I'll see you at the wedding, bitch." Inu-Yasha got up to leave.

            She caught the hanyou by surprise, tackling him from behind.   "ARG!!!! YOU EVIL BASTARD!"  

            Kagome and her mother watched Inu-Yasha leave from the front door, holding some ice to his jaw, muttering curses as he went.  "Well," Higurashi-san said pleasantly, "That went well!"  Kagome just looked at her mother like she was insane.  Obviously she did not see the claw marks that marred her kimono from her and her future husband's little… encounter.  "What?" She said defensively, "Besides the fact that you tried to kill him, the two of you seemed to be quite comfortable around each other."

            "You were watching the _entire_ time?" Kagome asked through gritted teeth, her eyes narrowed into slits.  

            "Of course! Ji-chan even did a sketch of the two of you trying to pummel each other to death on the floor with his new set of paints!"

            "What?!" Kagome gasped, blushing furiously.  Normally, Kagome was not the violent type of girl.  But something about that arrogant hanyou just seemed to bring it out in her.  

            Her mother nodded enthusiastically, joyous tears suddenly welling up in her warm brown eyes.  "He wanted to have an artist make a painting of it for the two of you as a wedding present!" She grabbed Kagome, clutching the startled girl to her chest. "Oh, Kagome! I am _so _happy for you!"

            Kagome stayed stiff against her mother as the woman sobbed, feeling the sudden need to escape from all of this. "Umm, Mom, I need to go for a walk." 

            Higurashi-san released her daughter slowly, watching as she walked away from the shrine.

Kagome walked in a dazed stupor as she headed for the village.  She would have bemoaned her situation, but she was just too tired to think…. Or apparently walk correctly.  Colliding into a lean, warm body, Kagome lifted herself from the fog of confusion enough to mutter an apology.  But the figure did not move.

"Higurashi! What it is wrong?" She looked up to find the tall figure of Hojo looking at her with wide, concerned eyes.  He was surprised to see Kagome wandering along the road when it was nearly sun-set.  Usually the girl was cautious, considering that she was a miko and all.  Yet here he found her, treading listlessly with lost eyes and a vacant expression.   Even more confusing was the formal periwinkle blue and lavender silk kimono she wore, which seemed to have some sort of claw marks on it.  Had she been attacked?

"Nothing, Hojo-kun. I am just a little out of it." Kagome smiled faintly, trying to assure him, as well herself, that everything was just peachy.  Unfortunately, her stunning acting performance had convinced neither. 

He led her over to a shaded tree beside the dirt path, carefully helping her sit.  To Hojo, Kagome was a porcelain doll.  She was a doll that required rapt attention and care, as well as frequent dusting   He gently took her hand, running his thumb along her palm.  Firmly looking into her eyes, he stated softly "You can tell me what is wrong now, Higurashi."

She smiled ruefully, her pale features taking on a distant look.  "You won't be able to call me that much longer, Hojo-kun."  He stared at her in confusion.  "I'm arranged to be married in a couple of days." 

His mouth nearly dropped to the floor.  His Kagome.  Engaged to be married.  How could this have happened? Well, to be truthful, he had never told her he thought of her as his, but he was sure that it was assumed by both of them that they would be married as soon as he could gather enough money from his apprenticeship to the local healer.  Suddenly nothing made sense.  Clenching his head in his hands, Hojo asked "Wait, what do you mean by married?"

"What do you think?!" Kagome exclaimed sarcastically. "Married! Hitched! Here comes the bride! My life will be joined in 'holy matrimony' with an asshole as of Saturday."

He knew she said it, but it still didn't make any sense.   No, no, there was a plan.  A plan which involved him, Kagome, a couple of children and maybe a dog or a big fluffy cat.  That plan was the only thing that made sense to Hojo.  It had been his future since he was ten.  "This can't be happening…" He muttered in disbelief.

Kagome chuckled bitterly. "I know the feeling…" But the bitterness died in her throat, leaving her feeling nothing but vulnerable.  "But it is happening.  And you know what? The guy doesn't even want to stay married." She choked.

"What?" Hojo had the sudden feeling there was light at the end of the tunnel.

"He just wants to be hitched for six months and then we'll get divorced or something.  The deal I made with him is actually quite a bargain.  But I can't help feeling like a marriage shouldn't be a bargain…" Her heart was suddenly in her throat, causing her voice to catch.  Tears began to trickle down her face.  

Hojo didn't know whether to giggle with glee or kill this fiancée of hers for making her miserable.  Maybe he would do both.  But not in front of his delicate Kagome.  No, his job now was to comfort her. With two lanky arms he reached out and pulled her to him, setting her head firmly against his chest.  "Let it all out," He urged, "Don't worry, Higurashi."

Kagome's eyes went wide, as where she was and what exactly she was doing washed over her. Her spine went rigid "Um, thanks Hojo-kun, you can let go now."  She blushed deeply as she escaped to a standing position.  

            Blinking, Hojo ran a hand through his dirty blond hair, trying to understand why Kagome pulled away.  **Of course, he sighed, mentally wanting to kick himself, **she thinks she is taking advantage of my compassion, not that I actually like her.  She is such a humble, wonderful girl!  **He stood with her, once again embracing her with all of his might.  As he squeezed the stiff girl to him he whispered "I care Kagome! Do not fear!" seriously in her ear.  **

            Kagome knew he cared.  That was why she had to get away. Now!  **Why am I doing so much escaping lately? She sighed to herself.  What she needed was a stunt double.  Then they could stay and be polite, as she made her quick getaway.  Nodding to herself that she would find one as soon as humanly possible, she once again untangled herself from Hojo's vice-like embrace.    
            Smiling brightly, she lied in his face.  Sometimes a lie was less cruel. "Hojo-kun, I really need to get going! But thanks for listening! You have made me feel a lot better!" Internally, Kagome was wincing as she turned away****.  Oh no, that wasn't leading him on! Why not just say "Feel free to grab me anytime you want!"  **

**            "**Ja ne,  Kagome-chan!" Hojo yelled cheerfully as she left.  Kagome could have doubled over in pain, from the left hook of guilt gave her.  

            Hojo stared at her retreating form, the sunset lighting his hair with golden and orange hues.  **Be strong, Kagome, I will save you from that bargaining, bargaining….. (Hojo really hated to use unnecessary foul language, even in his thoughts) ****Guy.   I will make sure he never lays a hand on you!    
            In all fairness, the moment actually was pretty dramatic as he made his sunset vow.  His eyes were steadfast, and his fists were clenched in righteous anger.  He might have pulled off the role of a protagonist vowing to protect his lady love, if some bird hadn't decided Hojo's nest of dirty blond hair would make an excellent place to relieve itself.  "AAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **

_Miroku sits in a hospital room next to the bed of the charred Earl the Lawyer.  Mysteriously, it appears the leather chairs and the trumpet music have also relocated with Miroku.  The fireplace could not also be relocated, seeing as certain nurses thought it to be a bit of a safety hazard.  What a pity, oh well…  _

_Miroku: (smoking the pipe every three or four words) You all will be happy to know, dear readers, that Earl the Lawyer has survived to sue another day.  (Rubs chin) It would appear that Rambler was so taken with actually getting reviews that she decided to add in what was to be the first part of chapter three.  She also decided to make the story longer than she intended as well… (twitches spontaneously).  Why do so many people take advantage of monks? Well, at least I am getting something out of this… (his look of long suffering innocence suddenly turns into an insidious smirk)._

_Sango: (suddenly appearing and taking the pipe out of Miroku's hand) Do you have a death wish?!    You realize  you're not suppose to smoke in a hospital don't you?_

_Miroku:__( his left hand has mysteriously gone MIA) My lovely Sango has returned! _

_Sango: (finds his MIA hand on her butt, and slaps Miroku for it) Only because I got what I deserved._

_Miroku:__(throws her a questioning look as he rubs his red hand printed cheek) _

_Sango: Let's just say this: if you get something you want, then I get something I want. (Insert evil cackling here)_

_Earl the Lawyer: (insert painful and random groans here) _

_Miroku: (raises eyebrow hopefully) Would it involve me, a bed, and a bunch of whipped cream? (Wiggles eyebrows suggestively and licks his lips)_

_Sango: (Punches Miroku into unconsciousness. Shrugs.) At least he did himself a favor and said that in a hospital. (Drags Miroku out of the leather chair) I'm going to find a nurse.  Rambler wanted me to tell you all she will probably be updating this every Friday night, so look for "Ball and Chain" then.  Tune in next week! Er… if you can "tune in" to a computer…  _


	3. Family Portraits

            _Miroku__ and Sango sit in their comfortable Masterpiece Theatre chairs, which have been relocated to the hospital room of Earl the Lawyer, along with the fabulous trumpet music.  Unfortunately, Rambler was still not able to convince the hospital staff to allow the fireplace in the room, so she had Shippo draw her a picture of one for the wall (no, she never does anything herself).  A girl with long black hair occupies the bed next to Earl, holding her head and muttering about "commas" over and over again._

_Miroku__: (Holds a bag of ice to his head as he stares at the impromptu backdrop Shippo drew them) What the heck was Shippo trying to draw Sango?_

_Sango: (Sighs, collapsing further into her chair) Well, Rambler was obsessed with having a fire place wherever we had the introduction, so she insisted that Shippo draw one._

_Miroku__: (Raises an eyebrow) So he drew Kaede's hut on fire?_

_Sango: He didn't know what a fireplace was! So he drew a place that he liked, Kaede's hut, and fire._

_Miroku__: (Sweat drops) I think the kid has seen a little too much violence this past year.  _

_Sango: (Looks about, and yelps and surprise when she sees the readers) Er… welcome back to Rambler's first fic! Although Earl-san is not well enough to leave the hospital, he is well enough to hold up signs with this chapter's disclaimers on them. _

_Earl the Lawyer: (Sitting up in his hospital bed, grimacing in pain.  Holds up the first sign, which reads "The great and almighty Rambling Coffee Addict does not own Inu-Yasha or Masterpiece Theatre, unfortunately." He weakly puts down the first sign and lifts the second "Never fear dear readers for though she may own nothing now, one day in the near future she will rule the world!"  He finishes by holding up a third sign that says "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", and then collapses back onto the bed._

_Miroku__: (Smiles at Earl the Lawyer) There you go, Earl-san! Flatter Rambler! That will at least spare you from her random lightning bolts another two times! _

_Sango: (Shakes her head) Anyhoo, enjoy the third chapter, which is unusually long… That woman never knows when to shut up. (Dodges the lightning bolt, and takes a deep breath) What put her in such a bad mood?_

_Miroku__: The Starbucks she went to yesterday refused her gift card, and she didn't have any cash on her (nods knowingly)._

**Chapter 3**

_Family Portraits_

            Four figures ate in utter silence in the early evening.  Despite the earliness of the hour, room in which they ate was draped in shadows, lit only by a few torches along the cold stone walls.  But the family seemed to care little about the darkness or the void of conversation.  

            Family; when most hear the word, they think of love, holidays, or at least home.  Inu-Yasha was not one of those people, however.  No, family wasn't love for him, it was hate.  It was Sesshomaru's calm façade eying him suspiciously across the table, daring him to say the wrong thing.  It was the howls in the night, the claws that sought to tear him limb from limb.

            Family was not even associated with holidays.  The Yamura clan took holidays as a vacation away from each other. There was a mass exodus for a few days, each one going so far as to get drunk in separate towns. And when the holiday was up they came back the Yamura manor without so much as a muttered greeting, as if the entire thing had never taken place.   

            At best, the Yamuras shared the bond of fellow inmates.  Caged within the same spacious walls, they were bound to one another by their shared blood.  They wore the shackles of each other, suffering quietly, if intolerantly.  Except for when it came to Inu-Yasha and his mother.  They were the one subject on which the prisoners/members of the Yamura household could agree upon.  The general consensus was that they were vile, tainted creatures who must be disposed of quickly.  

            Inu-Yasha's mother, Takiko, was despicable in every way to them.  Some human geisha Inu-Yasha's father, Lord Taisho, had irresponsibly gotten pregnant and then insisted on marrying.  While she had been a beautiful flower in her youth, she had wilted rather quickly.  Defending her son from all of Taisho's relatives had taken its toll on the woman; now she was no more than a shadow of the lovely creature who had stolen Taisho's heart.  The family found it pitiful the way the woman seemed to twitch and cry at the slightest remark, and they honestly wondered if it would not be better to put her out of her twittering misery.  But Taisho, being the sentimental fool that he was, in their opinion, would have none of it.

            Takiko's son was treated with even less courtesy, even though she tried to protect him.  It was simply disgraceful that this illegitimate half-breed would get any of Taisho's inheritance.  Disgraceful, and outright wrong, considering he had so many deserving relatives.  Inu-Yasha could feel their eyes on him and his mother like a thousand gnats swarming around his body.  Their hateful stares clung and itched.  No matter how he slapped the thoughts of them away, more just kept coming back.

            And so Inu-Yasha didn't even feel his home was with the demons he called family, just his jail cell.

            The dining hall was a large, hollow room, which echoed even the slightest whisper.  Voices carried like ripples through water, the echoes getting louder and louder as sound traveled to the heavy stone walls.  The constant clang of noise in the room was almost maddening.   Hardly anyone spoke at dinner, or came for that matter.  The only ones who regularly occupied the cushions around the large oak table were Lord Taisho, Takiko, Sesshomaru, and Inu-Yasha.  Everyone else ate either in their rooms, or in one of the restaurants in the village.

            The four who did eat in the dining hall had various reasons for doing so.  Lord Taisho came because it was his food and his house.  He would be damned before he would let a bunch of free-loading kin ruin his appetite.  All of the important people to him ate there anyway, even if it was in relative silence.

 Sesshomaru came because it was the "civilized" thing to do, as well as his duty since he was Taisho's heir.   There were also some pleasant side effects which made his appearance at the dinner table all the more gratifying.  Sesshomaru liked making Inu-Yasha and Takiko so uncomfortable they couldn't eat.  He found personal satisfaction in the haunted look that would cross his stepmother's face every time he stared at her coldly.  Besides, someone had to rebuke his father for allowing the whore at the dinner table, even if only by glowering and growling silently.  

Takiko came because she had to.   She couldn't take this house on her own any more, she just couldn't. Anymore than five minutes out of either her son's or Taisho's presence sent her into hysterics, so high was her anxiety.  Her so-called "in-laws" had driven her to the point of insanity with their callous ways.  But she staved of the madness, huddling next to her husband at the table, shivering even though she smiled like nothing was wrong.  The worst part was that her husband, although affectionate and loving, seemed to be oblivious to the glaring eyes she always found upon her.  He just thought her to be human, and therefore vulnerable and easily ruffled. 

Inu-Yasha didn't know why he bothered anymore.  The only reason he could think of for his continual presence at supper was that in some absurd way, he thought of this as quality time with his father.  Yes, it was quality time spent mostly in sullen quiet, under the watchful eye of his fratricidal brother, but it was time spent in his father's presence none the less.  And Inu-Yasha couldn't help but crave more of it, even though they either argued or didn't speak at all to each other. 

 In all honesty, he barely even knew the man.  His mother had raised him while his father had been out patrolling the Western Lands.  Only recently had he sent other demons to patrol for him, or had dispatched Sesshomaru to do it.  The man who sat at the head of the dinner table was practically a stranger to Inu-Yasha, and he couldn't help but feel both resentment and yearning toward Taisho.  

Taisho suddenly broke the silence.  "Inu-Yasha," The hanyou in question turned slightly to look at the majestic figure of his father, his hand frozen on his bowl of soup.  Taisho grunted, wiping a napkin over his lips before continuing. "I trust you find your future bride to be acceptable?" He spoke in a measured baritone voice, his dark amber eyes looking over his youngest son neutrally.

"Uh…" For some strange reason he got the feeling he was being set up here.  The feeling was lost, however, in the overwhelming anxiousness to have an actual conversation with his father, not an argument.  "She's okay, I guess." 

"You 'guess'?" A small grin tugged at the corners of Taisho's thin lips.  

"She's fine." Inu-Yasha said in a more quiet, but firm voice.

"Well then," His father spoke in a lighter tone, edging on amusement as he ran his calloused hand across his bearded chin. "Why exactly haven't you spent any time with her the past few days?"  

**I knew it!  I knew the bastard wasn't capable of having a fucking conversation without some ulterior motive!  Inu-Yasha fought the urge to growl as he watched his father with humorless eyes. "Because I am going to be spending _all_ of my time with her in a little while."  **

Taisho frowned thoughtfully.  He knew his son was on to his motives for actually starting a conversation, but that didn't mean he was going to let the subject go.  "But wouldn't it be a good idea to get to know her before the marriage?" He suggested amiably, even raising an eyebrow for his next comment, "You know, so things aren't awkward on the wedding night?" 

A hot flush threatened to cover his son's face.  The condescension and sarcasm he felt in his father's last comments stung.  He honestly did not want to get into a fight with his father, but his injured pride was demanding that he strike back.  In desperation he looked to his mother, to find her mahogany eyes pleading with him, begging him not to let Taisho get to him.  He sighed, "What do you want?" He asked wearily, keeping his eyes on his mother's desperate ones. 

"Simply for you to spend all of tomorrow with the girl."  Taisho spoke as if his requested that Inu-Yasha pass the butter.   It was nothing; a small simple request for his smaller, simpler son. 

Unfortunately, Inu-Yasha did not feel the same way. "WHAT?!" He roared incredulously, slamming his soup down on the table.  It splashed over the table as echoes of Inu-Yasha's outraged question rippled through the hall.  Takiko stared at her son with knitted brows, anxiety written in the creases covering her pale face.  

"So childish, so dull witted." Sesshomaru chided, shaking his head in disgust at Inu-Yasha's little display.  "Think about it, mongrel.  It is perfectly logical of Father to suggest that you spend tomorrow with the mortal.  After all, you didn't leave her on a very good note the other day.  If you would stop being such an insolent pup, maybe you would see Father is only trying to get you to do what is best." Really, talking to Inu-Yasha was like talking to a young, simple kid.  It was Sesshomaru's experience that one had to use small words and clear descriptions; otherwise the guy got all huffy and tried to kill you.  Not that Inu-Yasha would ever be able to kill his older brother.

Inu-Yasha growled menacingly at his brother, his eyes glowing with the desire to turn him tiny bits of charred ash.  "Stay out of this, bastard." 

"Sesshomaru is right." Taisho snarled at Inu-Yasha, his own temper rising to meet that of his son.  "How _dare you question my authority!  I am lord of the whole Western Lands! Don't you think I know what is best for one of my sons?!" _

"But it's my last day before I have to marry the bitch!" Inu-Yasha shouted back in defiance. "Shouldn't I be able to enjoy it?"

Taisho rolled his eyes at his son and gulped down his cup of sake.  "Oh please, Inu-Yasha, spare me the dramatics.  We both know that you would get drunk off your ass and end up brawling with whoever would fight you.  Then you would show up to the wedding looking like the bedraggled bastard you are most of the time; sporting a shiner or some other silly bruise.  I am not letting you fuck this up for yourself." 

Inu-Yasha sputtered indignantly.  Who was his father to tell him what _he _would do?  This man had barely been anything but a shadow in the background.  When he would come home from his long years of patrolling, he would barely be able to tell which child was Inu-Yasha because he remembered him as four rather than seven years old.  Now he was sitting here, claiming to know what Inu-Yasha would do.  Even if he was right, he had no right to predict the actions of a son he hardly spent time with.  "No." Inu-Yasha refused flatly.

Taisho's eyes flashed dangerously. "You will not defy me, boy." He stated coldly. 

"I said no, Asshole!" Inu-Yasha spat.  

Takiko winced at his tone, her eyes still pleading with him to stop as she rocked back and forth in place.  Wringing her hands, her eyes jumped between the two men that mattered more than anything in the world to her.

Taisho fought to control his temper, each of his fists shaking violently on either side of his bowl. "You will do as I say, you ungrateful prick.  It's not YOUR choice!"  He stood, looming over his rebellious son.

Takiko, covered her ears with her hands.  All she wanted was to block out the raging voices bouncing off of the walls, vibrating furiously through the room, throbbing through her overworked brain.

Inu-Yasha stood up, meeting Taisho's gaze viciously "Like hell it isn't! She's my fucking bride to be, I will see her when I damn well feel like it!" 

"INU-YASHA YOU-"

"STOP!" Inu-Yasha's mother shrieked, fearful tears falling down her gaunt cheeks. "STOP IT PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE IT! The echoes, oh, the horrible echoes! Please Taisho, make them go away!" She shook visibly, her eyes wild as she looked at the two of them pitifully. "Stop fighting, I can't stand it when your fight…" Takiko begged as if a small child, only to fall into complete hysterics, "Oh the echoes, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible-" Her ranting was stilled by a resounding slap on the face.

Sesshomaru stood over her shaking form in complete repulsion. "Stop your ravings, whore." He commanded apathetically to the still sobbing woman. "I said stop crying." He reiterated in aggravation, growing increasingly irritated and repulsed with his stepmother's weakness.  "You shouldn't be alive." He stated coldly as he looked over her, his voice quiet, but full of conviction.  "We should have put you out of your misery-"

"I'll do what you want." Inu-Yasha said quietly to his father, his long shaggy bangs covering his eyes.   He really hated to stand down, but she was crying.  **She's been through so much, so fucking much…  So he swallowed his pride. "Now get him the fuck away from her.  She shouldn't suffer for me; she shouldn't cry for me." **

Taisho glared at Sesshomaru, who backed away from Takiko's broken form.  Sesshomaru could tell his father would have "words" with him later about his lashing out at his stepmother.  Taisho gently strode over to his wife, picking her up to cradle her as if she were a small child.  

Inu-Yasha, stalked out of the room in defeat, leaving the people he called family behind.  He did not get far enough to miss his mother's final words before she fell into weary oblivion: "Why? What does he do to make you so angry Taisho? What does he do to make you hate him?"

To Kagome, miko studies were something to be taken _very_ seriously. Her grandfather had made it absolutely clear she would be the one to take over the shrine and protect its honored reputation after he was gone.  

The man was absolutely giddy when Kagome had first showed signs of having holy powers, he himself having virtually none.  He had danced around his nine year old granddaughter, shrieking for all the world to hear: "My granddaughter purified a flea demon! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  As a little girl Kagome had no idea what had happened, she had just been glad the "icky wicky" bug was gone.  But now she understood why her grandfather had bought enough sake for everyone in the town that night.   Her miko powers could help the shrine gain more prestige then simply being a place of rest.  Her powers were her grandfather's ticket to fame, or at least the continued success of the shrine. All of the responsibility seemed to fall on her narrow shoulders.  It was a weight which caused Kagome a great deal of tension and stress.  

Kagome narrowed her eyes as she concentrated her mind and energy on the practice target.  The field around her vanished, leaving only the small red bulls-eye about twenty feet away from her.  Pink energy radiated out of the sharp point of the arrow.  Kagome was about to start her count down to releasing the arrow when-

"Hey wench!" A voice surprised her from behind.

Startled, Kagome let the arrow fly in a random direction.  "AHH!" She squealed.   Flying around to see whoever the idiot who surprised her was, she found Inu-Yasha comfortably sprawled in a small tree behind her.  She couldn't help but gasp in shock; it never occurred to her that he would want to be within ten feet of her until the wedding.

Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow as his hands slipped behind his head.  "What?" He asked indignantly as she continued to gape in disbelief.  "Can't I come to see my future 'ball and chain' before the wedding?"

            Oh, Kagome just _loved_ the way he sweet talked her all the time.  Could he be any more of a barbarian? "Did you come willingly?" She asked wryly as she looked up at him.

            "I wanted to make sure you weren't psycho or anything.  You had me worried with that fruit question the other day." **Like I would tell this girl the truth…**

Kagome was about to try and make a witty comeback when a strangled "meow" caught her attention.  She turned from Inu-Yasha to see her beloved cat collapsed in the grass a small ways from the red target, an arrow sticking out of his stomach. "Buyo!"   Dashing forward, she swept up the injured cat in her arms.  The cat still appeared to be dazed from the experience, blinking and looking around wildly.  "You stupid, stupid cat! The _one_ time you decide to venture out of the house!" The cat could barely waddle three steps without collapsing on the floor, not to mention he would never attempt to open the door.  **Unless someone had left it open….**

            Kagome turned cold, accusing eyes on a still confused Inu-Yasha.   "YOU!" She spat out at him as she carried Buyo toward the tree he was reclining in. "This is all YOUR FAULT!" She yanked Inu-Yasha's foot out of the tree, causing him to collapse to the earth with a painful thud. "You left the door open, didn't you?!" She screeched, angry tears threatened to pour down her face as the cat's breathing became shallower.  "And then you had to go and ruin my concentration… and now my cat…" She sobbed as she looked down at the dying creature. "Oh gods, Buyo! It's all my fault!"  Hot tears streamed down her face as she fell to the ground, still holding the suffering cat.

            Inu-Yasha panicked.  She was crying.  No, she was wailing.  And that cat of hers was about to bite the big one.  Then she would probably cry some more, and he just couldn't stand to see that.  

Suddenly all he could see was his mother, bent on the floor weeping hysterically. _"Why? What does he do to make you so angry Taisho? What does he do to make you hate him?"   He hadn't felt this guilty in a very long time.  Something had to be done.  "Give me the cat," He barked hurriedly, desperate to save the dumb animal.  _

            "No!" She shouted back at him, clutching the wide eyed creature closer to her.    
            "Now listen up, Little Girl." He growled, leaning over her sobbing form to grip the cat in her hold, "If you continue to bitch and moan like this, the fucking cat is going to die. SO GIVE IT HERE SO I CAN FIX THE GOD DAMN THING!" He roared as he finally was able to pull the cat from her clutches. 

            Kagome stared at him dumbly as he walked into the house, not even waiting for her to follow.  Getting up quickly, she rushed into the house after him.  Inu- Yasha set the moaning cat on the sitting room table, where they had had tea the other day.  He groaned as he looked over the creature, muttering curses to himself.  He turned to see Kagome pale even further as she stared at the arrow in her cat's belly.  Setting his golden eyes firmly upon her, he ordered "Girl, get some bandages, warm water, a needle, thread, and some sake."

            She turned, only to stop as she mentally went over his list. "Sake?" She questioned.  

            "How else are we going to get the fucking animal to stay still?" He spoke patiently, as if talking to a particularly dumb child. "NOW GO!"

            Kagome obeyed, fleeing the room to find the room to find the materials Inu-Yasha had requested.  Hands full, she returned to find Inu-Yasha stroking the cat's head, whispering awkward assurances like "Quit your moaning.  You won't biting the dust anytime soon, as long as you don't scratch or bite me while I'm doing this.  If you do, then I really would have to kill you."  

He stopped trying to be what he thought was friendly to the cat as soon as he heard Kagome hesitantly entering the room.  He poured nearly the whole bottle of sake down the cat's throat before setting to work on the arrow.  "Hold the cat still while I'm working here." He muttered to Kagome while he grabbed the arrow.  She merely nodded, and held the cat down. He winced as he wrenched the arrowed from the cat's chest, and quick began to stitch the wound up, even though blood seeped from the wound.  "It's a good thing this cat is so damn fat." Inu-Yasha remarked, trying to dispel some of the tension in the room.  "It appears the arrow didn't hit anything vital because the cat has so much blubber."  

Kagome didn't reply as he carefully pulled the needle and thread along the torn skin, dodging Buyo's weak attempts to scratch him.  Somehow he seemed different to her as he worked to heal her cat, almost as if it were a different person.   **He cares…  And suddenly, in the span of a few minutes, Kagome found herself looking at the boy in a completely different light.  He wasn't as barbaric as he looked.  He wasn't the bastard he seemed to be at all.  He just wanted the world to believe that he was.  She felt a wave of guilt wash over her, realizing how judgmental she had been towards Inu-Yasha, even if he had invited that judgment.  She would never make that mistake again.  **

When he was finished stitch up the now drunken cat, he gingerly wrapped the cat in bandages.  The cat looked like a mummy under Inu-Yasha's ministrations, but he had never claimed to be good at this sort of thing.  Settling the cat down on Kagome's futon, he wrapped blankets around him to keep him in place.  "Don't let the cat move any where for awhile.  He probably won't be able to walk for a week or two…"

"Especially since his eyes are covered in bandages." Kagome noted in amusement as she leaned over Buyo.

"Urusai." Inu-Yasha grumbled irritably.  Here he was being all charitable, which was a great rarity, and she was mocking him.  "The thanks I get..." He shook his head in a chiding fashion.

Kagome could have reminded him that he was the one responsible for her cat's injury, but she didn't.  Instead she sighed, looking over the hanyou warmly before bestowing a sincerely grateful smile on him.  Despite the fact that she looked worn from her panicking over Buyo, she glowed in Inu-Yasha's opinion.  For one moment they gazed at each other, Inu-Yasha mesmerized by Kagome's bright smile, Kagome just happy to have her cat in one piece, even if covered in bandages.  It was the first moment both were entirely at peace with each other, as if a deeper understanding had been reached.

"Kagome, why is there blood on the sitting room table?" And then the moment was gone.   Kagome's grandfather wandered into her bedroom, befuddled by the mess in the house.  His eyes widened in shock when he saw Inu-Yasha standing next to his granddaughter. "DEMON!" He shrieked, jumping nearly five feet in the air.  Somewhere in his mind he registered that the rest of his grey hair had turn white.  Finally gathering his wits about him, he went into priest-mode, whispering spells and trying to find some demon wards in his pockets.

"Wait Ji-chan, he's-" Kagome barely got those words out when five wards flew at Inu-Yasha, landing on his head.  

Inu-Yasha tried to look at the wards, at a loss as to what to say and annoyed by it.  He slowly lifted the wards from his head, looking at the old priest in confusion.

"Nani?!" Ji-chan's  mouth drop to the floor, his eyes becoming large and watery in dismay.  "They didn't work?!"  

Kagome's mother dashed into the room just as the old man was about to launch a second round at the irritated and sputtering hanyou.  "Ji-chan! Why in the world are you trying to purify Kagome's fiancée?" She asked, trying to remind her father of who the boy was. 

"Huh?" He responded intelligently, scrutinizing the white haired boy with small crinkled eyes.  "But he's youkai!"

"Half demon!" Kagome added helpfully.

Inu-Yasha grumbled, still flustered with the situation. "Keh, rub it in why don't you.  Even if I am hanyou, your stupid charms couldn't hurt me any day." 

Higurashi-san sent the boy a weathering look, before returning to her father. "Don't you remember, Ji-chan, you have already met him." 

Kagome's grandfather appeared puzzled for a moment before his eyes suddenly widened in realization.  "Oh yeah, know I remember! You're the guy Kagome clobbered the other day!" 

Inu-Yasha muttered several explicatives about "stupid little girls" who didn't "fight fair" in response.   

Satisfied the hanyou was not a danger to society, the old man wandered out of the room whistling as if nothing had ever happened.  Higurashi-san smiled apologetically at Inu-Yasha from the door way.  "Gomen ne, Yamura.  Ji-chan is a bit senile these days.  How about we make it up to you with a nice hot meal?" She suggested pleasantly, seeming to be blissfully unaware of the cat blood that covered both her daughter and the boy.  

**Do I want to eat dinner in the hellhole, or with the bitch and her family… Hmm, tough choice.  An image of his mother crying popped into his head again.  **No, I'm not ready to face her yet**.  "Keh," He shrugged, "Fine with me." **

"And because of that lord from that place in that region where there was those jewels, we now have the zucchini." Kagome's grandfather drawled on verbosely at the supper table.  He stopped for a minute, feeling a dramatic pause was required at the moment.  "And to think, we might not have had zucchini in this part of Japan if that lord lost the bet about trees not making a sound if there was no one around to hear them."    

             Kagome fixed him with a dry look after stuffing yet another heap of oden into her mouth. "That was deep." She said flatly.  Her grandfather was obsessed by anything remotely related to history.  Hours and hours of his time was spent looking at ancient scrolls, and perusing whatever artifacts he could find.  Sometimes she would hear him giggle maniacally at some new discovery, as if a mad scientist in his laboratory.  His little obsession might have been endearing if he hadn't insisted on sharing _everything he found out about during supper.  No matter how unappetizing the subject, whether it be the history of the silk worm or some war lord's intestinal problems he prattled on and on, completely unstoppable._

            She looked over at Inu-Yasha, to find him asleep in his oden, little bubbles rising in the side of the bowl not occupied by his face. Lifting his head by his hair she shouted in his ear "Wake up! If I have to suffer through the history of 'who knows what' so do you."   

            Inu-Yasha yawned opening his eyes blearily to find Souta giggling and the old man snorting with laughter as Kagome attempted to get the liquid off his face with a napkin.   She muttered angrily while she wiped off his face, but he only let out a somewhat annoyed growl in response.  She was such a mother hen; probably spending all of her days clucking worriedly over everyone in the house.  Her attention was snatched away from him as yet another pot of oden was served up by Higurashi-san.  Kagome squealed with joy, clapping her hands together in giddy excitement.  Inu-Yasha couldn't help but smirk at the joyous girl out of the corner off his eye.  She was the mother hen one minute, and the exuberant child the next.  

            "Oden! Glorious oden! How I love my wonderful, fabulous, stupendous oden! " Kagome sang as she dumped large spoonfuls of food into her bowl.

            "You know, oden has a long and detailed history to it…" Her grandfather began his seventh lecture of the night.

            Souta frowned in confusion as he fought with Kagome for the last spoonful of oden.  "But Ji-chan, you were in the middle of telling us the history of mold!"

            Somehow Higurashi-san managed to sweep the last of the oden from either of her children, neutralizing the fight.  "Now, now, Souta, don't confuse Ji-chan." 

            Inu-Yasha simply gazed at them all silently as they ate.  These people were so unlike his family.  Sure, they were just as crazy, but in a much more benign way.  They were the entertaining kind of crazy that kept his eyebrow perpetually quirked up, not the homicidal or hurtful kind.  He envied their insanity, for it was one filled with laughter, playful banter, and a kind of warmth that he only saw from far away.  Unable to take any more, he got up from the table.  "May I be excused, Higurashi-san?" He requested faintly.

            The woman looked at him with concern, but covered it with a warm smile. "Of course, Yamura." 

            Kagome watched his retreating form with worried eyes.  She gave her mother a pleading look, which was answered with a gentle nod of the head.  Following the path Inu-Yasha took, she found him sitting in the stone garden, looking up at the stars.  "You okay?" She prodded gently, sitting next to him on a particularly large stone. 

            "Hai…" He sighed wearily.

            "Wow that was really convincing." She said dryly, turning her eyes to the stars glowing softly in the evening sky. 

            Inu-Yasha snorted, casting a sideways glance at her. "Stop trying to pry, bitch." 

            Kagome hissed.  "Look, I am not trying to pry, it's just that I want us to be friends.  We're going to have to live together for the next six months, so it might not be such a bad idea to actually get along." 

            He turned away from her, unable to deny the logic in her words.  "It's just so different." He said in exasperation. 

            "What?" Her blue eyes filled with concern for the boy.

            "Your family."  He smiled, but it resembled more of a grimace. "You're all happy and shit.  You guys actually talk to each other during dinner, laugh with each other…"  His golden eyes glowed distantly as he features tensed.  "My family can't even have a conversation without there being an injury or fatality."

            Kagome didn't know how to respond.  She had always thought her family to be typical.   That was what family was to her; love, warmth and laughter.  His seemed only to be pain.  But she didn't know how to say something comforting and not have him take it the wrong way.  So instead she gently grasped his clawed hand, holding it comfortingly in her own.  

            Stunned at the contact, Inu-Yasha looked at their joined hands.  Hers was much smaller than his, pale and delicate to touch.  He would have pulled away and headed home, but he felt her soft eyes on him, and knew she was only trying to help.  And Inu-Yasha really didn't want to hurt anymore women, at least not tonight.  Squeezing her hand lightly he returned his gaze upward.

A figure swathed in darkness watch the couple in the garden through narrow eyes. Hojo stealthy snuck closer to the two, careful to keep his movements as soundless as possible.  He listened with rapt attention as their conversation continued, taking care to memorize the boy's features.  

"So how did you learn to take care of wounds like that?" His Kagome asked the boy casually.  **He wounded her? The rat is going to pay…**      

The boy in the baggy red clothes shrugged.  "I learned by taking care of my own wounds.  I've had a lot of practice."  He had an almost arrogant tone as he carried on about his injuries.  **Great, he's a sadomasochist to boot**.  **How could Kagome's family choose such a creature for her?**

Kagome gave him a narrow look. "Why do I have the feeling that I am going to have to protect you more than have you protect me?" She griped.

The boy puffed out his chest, feeling his ego under fire. He chuckled arrogantly as he stood over the girl.  "Like I need protection, you baka."

And now the idiot was making fun of his sweet, innocent Kagome.  Couldn't he see what was sitting before him was precious?  Why was he being so heartless? **No,** he promised himself firmly, **I will stop this wedding.  And then you, whoever you are, will pay dearly for messing with my angelic Kagome.**   He couldn't help the giggle that burst from his throat, turning into a loud, boisterous laugh. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

Hojo stopped, realizing what a mistake it would be if he was caught because of his laughter.  He turned and sped away as quietly and quickly as he could.

The boy in the red turned toward where the noise had been with a troubled expression.  "What the fuck was that?" 

  _Miroku__ and Sango continue to sit in their comfortable leather seats in the hospital room.  Earl the Lawyer is snoring tuckered out from his sign holding job at the beginning.  The girl in the bed next to Earl continues to toss and turn, still muttering on about "commas". _

_Miroku__:  If any of you are wondering who is Earl-san's roommate, it is Rei, Rambler's unfortunate beta-reader.  Rambler's disregard for the use of commas has driven Rei temporarily insane.  Rambler would like to apologize to Rei for driving her nuts and tell her that she loves her very much and promises to edit any fiction she might want edited.  _

_Sango: Not that you would want that, Rei, considering how versed we all know Rambler to be in grammar (note the sarcasm here). _

_Miroku__: (Knocks Sango out of the way of another lightning bolt) Why can't you people learn not to insult fanfic authors?_

_Sango: (Shrugs) She doesn't really mind. _

_Miroku__: How do you know?_

_Sango: (Smiles evilly) Because she is still going to give me what I asked for! _

_Miroku__: (Eyebrows are raised hopefully) And it isn't me in a thong, with a bubble bath and some Barry White music? _

_Sango:__(Slaps him)  No, Houshi-sama_

_Miroku__: (Rubs his red cheek thoughtfully) Then no good can come of this… See you next time, dear readers! Don't forget to review!  _


	4. D Day

_Miroku and Sango have happily returned to the Masterpiece Theatre set, with the nice roaring fire warming the two as they sit in their comfortable leather chairs.  The trumpet music dies down, signaling the start of the show.  _

_Miroku:(smiles) Long time no see and no feel, dear readers! _

_Sango: (gives him 'the look') What do you mean by feel houshi-sama? _

_Miroku: (blinks innocently) It's just an expression Sango._

_Sango: (rolls eyes) Whatever.  (Turning to the audience) Lecherous monks aside, Rambler is sorry that it took so LONG to get this chapter out.  She was under siege with homework, AP exams and building a giant portfolio for her art class.  No matter how much she wanted to, she was forced to pretty much lock herself in her room and work.  She didn't even get six hours of sleep a night. Hopefully this will have been the longest wait for a chapter for the rest of this story._

_Miroku: And yes, that was a blatant appeal for sympathy, and for you to not send any cannibals after her.  On the bright side, to make up for the long wait, she is finally putting me in the story!_

_Sango: (Looks confused) I thought that the bright side was she had made the chapter longer…_

_Miroku: Technically this is only the first half of chapter 4, but it was just so freaking big she had to cut it in two, but yes this is longer than previous chapters.  None of that is as important as the fact that I have entered the story, however._

_Sango: Isn't he modest (voice drips with sarcasm)? Anyhoo, before we begin, a word from our favorite and fully recovered attorney, Earl the Lawyer!_

_Earl the Lawyer: The wonderful, majestic, beauteous, Rambling Coffee Addict, does not own Inu-Yasha, or any of its characters.  She also knows almost nothing about Japanese weddings during the feudal era, although she did try to incorporate whatever information she came upon.  That, however, does not keep her from being as glorious as she is! (Looks up at the sky in fear) Was that good enough? (Harp music plays and flowers fall from the sky in response)._

_Sango: Take that as a 'yes'.  On with the fic!_

**Chapter 4**

_D-Day_

            Music filled the spring air, and nature seemed to dance and bloom in response.  The cherry blossoms were at their zenith, covering everything in a blushing pink as they floated from the trees.  Crystal clear skies were brightened by a warm, glowing sun, yet it was not too hot to be uncomfortable when basking in its warmth.  It was essentially a perfect spring day in Inu-yasha's opinion.  How he hated it.

            It should have been raining as he stood out on his balcony, surveying cheerful servants and family busily decorating the garden behind the castle.  Rain should've been pouring with no end; thunder should have been roaring throughout the heavens.  No birds should be chirping and twittering.  They should have been struck by lightning and made into a charred birdie fricassees.  It was D-day for him; or rather M-Day.  That little girl would become his ball and chain, for six months anyway.  There should have been a tsunami about now, not this pansy, "love is in the air", idyllic scene before him.

            "There you are, Inu-Yasha!" Someone huffed from behind him, "STOP RUNNING OFF!" A small bundle of red fluff dressed in white scampered up to the dour hanyou.  The diminutive demon hopped up onto the balcony railing in front of his master, so he wouldn't have to look up at him. "How am I supposed to do my job if you keep disappearing, you jerk?" The child kitsune griped, crossing his arms as he pouted.

            Inu-Yasha just rolled his eyes, bopping the child over his head.  "I can dress myself, runt." He growled, looming over his disgruntled servant.  "And Shippo, how many times do I have to beat you over the head to get you to stop addressing me so informally?" He pouted, and unconsciously crossed his arms in a very similar way to the kitsune.

            The child rubbed the newest welt amongst his fiery puff of hair gingerly.  "Gomen." He mumbled through gritted teeth, his fists curled into tight balls.  Unable to hold in his youthful anger, Shippo thrust large, liquid eyes of sky blue into Inu-Yasha's face.  "Why do you always pick on me?!"  The boy whined. "I'm just a little kid, you baka!" 

            Before Shippo could earn himself yet another bump on the noggin, a deep voice from inside answered him.  "Inu-Yasha is just a kid himself, albeit a bigger one." A figure swathed in purple and navy blue robes stepped from the shadows of the hanyou's bedroom to fix the arguing pair with an amused expression.  "And your timing was not the best Shippo, since it seems our husband-to-be here was glowering at the injustice of it all before you came."    

            Inu-Yasha graced him with a sour look as he picked up his young servant and threw him off the railing and into the room, so he himself could lean against it. "Keh.  Decided to actually show up on time, Miroku?"  

            The monk in question leaned into his staff tiredly, sighing with melodramatic flare.  "I'll have you know that I traveled many miles to reach you on this important occasion."  

            "You were in the neighboring town?" Inu-Yasha prodded cynically.

            "Yes, but I still had to walk a ways, and it _felt_ like miles."  Miroku explained defensively, frowning a bit.  "Jeez, I took time out of my busy schedule of helping people-"

            "You mean robbing them." The hanyou corrected sarcastically.

            Undaunted, the monk continued. "Would it be too much to ask for a little gratitude-" 

            "Otherwise known as cash." Amended Shippo

            "And women." Inu-Yasha added dryly.

            "-For performing the marriage ceremony between you and your intended?"  

            Inu-Yasha snorted, turning his head away from the less than holy monk.  "That's what you do, you damn bouzo. You're a monk."

            "Technically speaking, Inu-Yasha, I am a Buddhist monk, and I therefore do not perform marriages.  But because you are such a dear friend, I am willing to perform the Shinto ceremony for you." 

            Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow, "Ran out of money that quickly, eh?" 

            Miroku managed to appear hurt, shocked, appalled, and unbelievably innocent in a single look directed at the dog demon.  He really was a very talented man.  "After all that we've been through together-" He was about to go into an award winning, guilt inducing dramatic monologue when Inu-Yasha stopped him.

              "Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before." Waving his hands in what for him was a placating, but not surrendering gesture, he continued on before Miroku could restart his tangent. "Any way, Miroku, it is a good thing you got here early, I need you to do me a favor."

            Miroku arched a sleek, dark eyebrow at him. "What exactly would that be?"

            Laughter filled the third floor of the castle as Inu-Yasha finished telling Miroku his unusual request.

**             **

            Kagome stood stiffly, draped in layers of fabric, as maids put yet more clothing on.   The "facts of life".  That is what her mother had referred to the horrifying information she had just dumped on Kagome.   It seemed like such an innocuous name for something so disgusting.  Sure, Kagome had known something "special" happened between a man and a woman when they spent the night together, but she didn't know all of the gruesome details.  Wasn't it enough she was marrying the bastard?  She was being the dutiful daughter, following most of the rules, actually being polite to the guy for the most part.  Did she have to let him touch her? Did she have to let him… enter her?  **That was SO not in our original agreement.  **

            And why did her mother wait for the morning of her wedding to tell her this?  Wasn't this day bad enough in itself?  She should have been told years ago.  She should have been told when she found Buyo humping a picture her Grandfather had drawn of a cat.  It would have answered so many questions she had had about the creature.  

Even though she was marrying Inu-Yasha, she didn't think of him as her husband.  It was only a temporary situation.  So why should she be forced to do _that with the fowl mouthed jerk if it was just a six month arrangement?  She should be able to wait for her real husband.  _

Part of her wished that he wouldn't bring it up that night.  Hopefully he too would want to wait for whoever the heck he decided to marry.   And yet a small, rebelling part of her wished he would ask.   Not so she could say yes, but so she would know he wanted to.   She just wanted him to find her attractive, to know he wasn't completely repulsed by being in the presence of the "little girl" he was being forced to marry.  Kagome found him to be very handsome, so maybe there was a glimmer of hope he felt the same way. But that was probably just wishful thinking; he was just marrying her to get his family off his back.

Kagome took a deep breath as the maids finished putting on the last layer of her wedding garb, the shiromuku.  **Let's just make it through the wedding… She told herself, smiling with fake cheer as the maids led her toward the shrine where the wedding would take place. **

            Miroku's dark blue eyes danced in amusement as he eyed the ornery hanyou, whose cheeks were stained a light red. "As you wish, my friend."

            Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow in surprise.  "You're not going to tease me about it?"

            "On the contrary, I would say your request was almost thoughtful." The monk mused, hand rubbing his sharp chin in consideration.  Miroku smiled widely as the   hanyou blushed harder.

            Their discussion was interrupted as the door to Inu-Yasha's rooms was thrust open with a resounding thud.  "Who is this mortal, Inu-Yasha?" The trio looked up to see Sesshomaru standing in the doorway, holding a rather dirty man by the foot with an outstretched hand.  The man dangled close the floor, utterly asleep.  Sesshomaru glanced down at the drooling man with distaste; he was going to ruin his favorite kimono.  Grimacing slightly, he fixed with his brother with an icy glare.  "I found the cretin sleeping in the bird bath. When I tried to kill him he muttered something about you inviting him here and went back to sleep."

            A cocky, fanged smile lit Inu-Yasha's face.  "Yea, he's with me alright," **I can't wait to see his face… "**I found him on the way back home from the bitch's house last night.  He's going to be the best man at my wedding."

            Sesshomaru stared blankly at him, before lift the man up a little bit more to get a look at his face.  He quickly brought him back down upon discovering his stench of vomit and cheap liquor.  "But Father said I was to be your best man." 

            "Yeah, well I don't want you to be my best man; I want sake-boy to be it."

            Imperceptibly frowning, Sesshomaru considered this new development.  He could only draw one conclusion when examining how this would affect his plans; it would totally ruin his chance at causing his brother the maximum amount of misery.   "No, I will be your best man." He stated firmly, straightening into his usual look of calm regality, unconscious man still hanging.  

            "Now, now, Sesshomaru," Miroku stepped in between the two brothers after perceiving Inu-Yasha's guttural growls.  "It is your brother's wedding." 

            "Your point?" 

            "Well," The monk said cautiously, "You haven't gotten your brother a wedding present yet, have you?"

            Sesshomaru just continued to stare at him as if he were a raving lunatic, so Shippo answered for him "No, I didn't see one from him down stairs." The dog-demon glared at the kitsune in response.

            Miroku smirked, "Then why not give him the drunkard as a wedding present? Let him be the best man, and not only are you out of having to make a last minute run to the market, but you don't have to worry about getting our little bridegroom all ruffled up and upsetting Yamura-sama."  

            This little human thought he could tell him what to do? Seething beneath the porcelain façade, Sesshomaru was suddenly nose to nose with the monk, the drunkard swung to the side so he was not between them. "And why would I do anything you say?" He hissed, amber eyes glittering dangerously.

            Smiling innocently, Miroku retreated behind one his other talents, flattery. "Oh, I would never presume to tell you what to do, Sesshomaru.   Being higher in rank and lineage than myself, you are indubitably _much _wiser than I_._"  He was laying it on real nice and thick.  Inu-Yasha snorted in disgust behind him, earning him an elbow in the ribs. "I was merely offering my humble suggestion since," His face grew solemn; "I am a monk." An unearthly light seemed to suddenly surround the man, "I try to follow Buddha's path and keep peace wherever possible, especially on such an occasion." His aura was practically screaming holy at this point.  One might have even heard harp music playing if two demons hadn't kept coughing something that sounded like "lech" or "liar".  

            The display was simply sickening.  Sesshomaru always had a personal distaste for insincere sycophancy.  Yes, everyone should realize his near omnipotence, but the monk had no idea how to express such an obvious fact in the right manner. Eager to get away from this cesspool of stupidity, Sesshomaru threw the drunken man gracefully, somehow making him fly over Miroku and directly onto Inu-Yasha's head.  Satisfied he had at least done some damage, Sesshomaru strode out of the room.  His lone consolation was the drunk would probably empty the remaining contents of his stomach during the ceremony.

            "FUCKING BASTARD!" Inu-Yasha roared as he tried to disentangle himself from the inebriated man, who had made himself comfortable on his stomach.   "I'M GOING TO RIP HIS HEAD OFF!" He finally succeeded in throwing of the man and made his way to the door, only to have a staff come crashing down on his head.  "Why the hells did you do that, monk?!"  Inu-Yasha rubbed his head scowling, his ears pressed firmly to his skull.

            Heaving a long suffering sigh, Miroku looked pointedly at the hanyou.  "This is not the time, nor the place to get blood on your nice black kimono.  Especially your blood, what would your intended say?"  

            "Like I give a rat's ass about what she would say.  Besides, you don't think I could take him?"

            "Of course I think you could fight your brother Inu-Yasha," Miroku spat impatiently. "But not without getting either injured or mortally wounded.  And while I might sit back and watch you get yourself skewered any other day of the week, I will not let you upset your mother.  Not to mention that your bride would probably run for the hills if she found out you were a barbaric ruffian before the ceremony." He smiled brightly as the hanyou snarled in indignation, "So let's just keep her in the dark until _after_ the wedding night, shall we?"

            "GOD DAMN LECHEROUS ASSHOLE!" As Miroku expected, Inu-Yasha responded to his sage advice by thrusting himself toward the monk's throat.   **All things considered, he took that rather well….**  

The monk jumped away in the knick of time, and made a bee-line for the door.  "Well, if you will excuse me Inu-Yasha," He spoke nonchalantly as he sped away from the hanyou that was thrashing wildly at him. "I must prepare for the wedding ceremony." 

"Come back here, monk!"  Inu-Yasha roared as he chased after the fleeing figure.

Shippo tried to hang on in vain to the back of Inu-Yasha's kimono, waving wildly in the air. "Jerk!" He griped through teeth clenched in fear, "I haven't been able to finish my job yet!"

In the wake of the clamor the three had caused, was a dirty man just beginning to come around with one of the biggest hangovers of his life.  He shakily stumbled to his feet, surveying the dark and elaborate bedroom surrounding him.  The screams and shouts from the distant halls pounded in his head, leaving him to fall back to the floor.  "Where am I?" The man slurred, before slowly crawling to the door. 

            "What does she look like?" Shippo whispered from his perch on Inu-Yasha's tense shoulder.  Inu-Yasha just sent the little kitsune a scathing look; standing at the altar of the shrine waiting for the ceremony to begin was no place for the kid to begin to ask questions.  

            "Like that other mortal he had courted a year ago." Inu-Yasha turned to give the same glare to his brother.  His brother returned the glare with impassive neutrality, but there was a gleam in his usually dull eyes.  Inu-Yasha could tell this was Sesshomaru's version of giddy.  Unfortunately, the drunk he had picked up so he wouldn't have to deal with his brother as the best man had managed to disappear.  So the youkai had gotten his wish in the end, he would get a front row seat to witness his dearly hated brother's misery.  

            "Kikyo?"  The child gasped, "The one who disappeared?" It would figure that the two would become friendly on Inu-Yasha's wedding day.  This only confirmed his suspicion: the sky was going to fall any second now. 

            "The girl is almost identical to the miko." Sesshomaru confirmed.  

            **Do the fucking bakas have to remind me? Yes, Inu-Yasha was perfectly well aware of the resemblance of the girl to his lost beloved. He had spied on her right after his father had told him of the arrangement, and nearly fallen out of the tree thinking it was Kikyo.  It seemed unbearable to marry someone so close to Kikyo in appearance, like he was replacing her.**

             **Kikyo, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry**.  He was guilty of not protecting her, and now he was guilty of betraying her as well.  He would never say the words out loud, but they had become a silent mantra every morning and every evening.  But his mother needed him, what choice did he have?  Still, he couldn't escape the feeling there was something he was missing, something he could have done, or just another solution to the mess.

            Unable to deal with the route his thoughts were taking, he did the only thing he could do to keep them at bay, get irritated. "Will you two shut up?" He snarled over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on the wooden ceiling just above the elaborate entrance of the shrine.  

            Shippo ignored Inu-Yasha, too enraptured with the latest tidbit of gossip.  "But why would he want anyone so serious?" He asked eagerly, "The garden statues make more faces!"  

            Inu-Yasha closed his eyes, feeling a twitch begin to form in his right eye.  He clenched his fist as Sesshomaru answered him.  "Only fools give away their thoughts with meaningless sentiment and words."

            "You only liked her 'cause she was so much like you!"

            **That's it. NO ONE compares Kikyo to Sesshomaru and gets away with it! The young fox demon let out a started squeal as he found himself airborne toward the entrance.  Suddenly, Inu-Yasha felt much better.  Throwing things was always very cathartic for him. He felt better that is, until he heard the shriek of the miko who got hit with the child as she entered the building.  Once he saw her rubbing her head he realized she would be followed by the little girl, which meant the wedding was starting.  Now he didn't feel so hot.**

His suspicions were confirmed as a figure swathed in white entered the shrine.  She gracefully floated down the aisle like sea foam on a calm ocean.  Inu-Yasha gulped inaudibly as he stared at his bride's bowed head.  Oh yes, the sky was falling, the rest of them just didn't know it yet.

            Lilting music echoed through the spacious hall of the shrine as Kagome entered out of the blinding sun.  As she slowly walked down the aisle, it became immediately clear to her which side of the family was Inu-Yasha's, and which was hers.   One side was quietly chatting happily, dressed in festive reds, gold, and white, all the while sending slightly curious glances at the other side of the room.   Shadowy, stark figures lined the other side, most seeming to want to leave as fast as possible.  In the midst of the dark, grumbling crowd of her fiancée's family stood two figures at odds with the rest.  A woman, dressed in a brilliant red kimono, stood smiling manically, all the while anxiously looking from Inu-Yasha to the smug girl standing behind him.   **Wait… is that a girl? She's wearing a man's kimono… this guy's family sure is odd…  Clutching the anxious woman to his side was a tall, middle aged man with white hair and sharp features.  ****This man _must_ be his father, they look almost exactly alike!  That must mean the woman is his mother… She looks so frail…**

Kagome took care to flash a reassuring smile at her mother and grandfather as she past them.  They beamed in return, eyes brimming with joyous pride.  The walls seemed to have abruptly begun to close in on her as she turned from her family.  The feeling did not lessen as she met the eyes of Inu-Yasha's mother.  The hope in her mahogany eyes was enough to drown in.  She looked at her as if Kagome was her savior, which filled Kagome with both unease and relief.  Finally, she reached the altar, bowing down before the priest to kneel next to her groom.

Although she desperately wanted to, she didn't look over at him.   Her muscles tensed as their shoulders pressed together, sending a small electric thrill through her.  Why was she so giddy? This was all horrible; she was being coerced into marriage! She should be wailing and rending her garments! Not blushing like some lovesick teenager, wondering what the silent boy next to her was thinking.  Where had all of her resolve gone?

Desperate to stop the pink beginning to brighten her cheeks, she turned her eyes to the priest performing the ceremony.  She was surprised to find him to be young, in her mind priests were never under 60, and always unattractive with their bald shiny heads.  Yet he was no older than 19, and _quite_ pleasant to look at. His dark brown hair was pulled back into a stub of ponytail, while unruly bangs framed his face in a boyish manner.  He smiled gently at her as he spoke, yet she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.  It was almost as if his navy blue eyes were raking her form up and down, imagining what she looked like without the encumbrance of clothing.  **But surely I am just paranoid because of the whole arranged marriage situation; after all, he is a priest.**  He seemed solemn enough to be considered priestly, reciting the words to the purification ceremony with an almost theatrical manner. 

She finished chastising herself for letting her imagination run away from her when he concluded the prayer for purification.  Taking a deep breath, the monk began the second part of the wedding ceremony.  Eyeing his audience briefly, he turned his dark blue orbs on Kagome, piercing her with an intent look. "Before I start a marriage ceremony, it is imperative that we all know just who the groom will be." 

Inu-Yasha groaned "Oh no, he wouldn't-" By the time the groom was able to get those few words out the monk had somehow squeezed his way in between Inu-Yasha and Kagome.  He kneeled next to her, clutching her hand to his heart.  Eyes filled with passion, he asked "Will you do me the honor of bearing my child?" 

What a waste; all of that hard work to convince herself she was wrong, only to find out she was right. She blinked several times at the man, unable to form a coherent thought after his unexpected request. "Umm…" She said finally, turning her eyes to the dumbfounded family members with open jaws, "You know you were here to perform a wedding ceremony, not get married, right?"

He smiled, obviously oblivious to the outraged hanyou behind him, "Oh but you weren't marrying for love, right? So why not switch to a husband who really needs you," His voice became lower and more seductive, "Who really _wants _you?" 

"I'm SO going to murder you after you perform this ceremony." A low, threatening voice growled from behind.  Amber eyes burned as he shove the monk away from Kagome and back on the altar. "What the fuck do you think you are doing, Miroku?" Inu-Yasha snarled, fangs bared and teeth clenched.

   Miroku sniffed, straightening the robes the hanyou had ruffled. "I don't see why you are so upset, I ask all the pretty girls the same question."

"He does." The girl/boy (Kagome had yet to determine which) with similar features to Inu-Yasha affirmed.  His voice is really low, that makes him a guy, right? **But he looks so feminine…**

**"But she's my bride!"**

Miroku gasped, arching both slender eyebrows in both shock and dismay. "You don't really think that I would discriminate among single women, do you? Frankly, I am hurt that you would think me so callous."

"SHE'S NOT SINGLE!" Inu-Yasha grasped his head in frustration.

"Technically speaking, she is single until he finishes with the ceremony." **Okay, Kagome reasoned, **this has to be either his brother or his sister; only a sibling would be this irritating.  But which is it? Maybe he/she was born with a birth defect of some kind… ****

Inu-Yasha turned to his "afflicted" (**no, wait, that's way too judgmental of a term **), or rather "special" sibling angrily, "SHUT UP! Will everyone just shut up?!" 

"Um…" A gruff, weary voice came from the entrance of the shrine, "I really would Sir, but I don't know where I am." A filthy man in grimy clothing scratched his head as he looked sheepishly at Inu-Yasha.  The two families turned from the enrapturing scene before them to see who the intruder was.  

Inu-Yasha seemed to hesitate to answer him, happy to get the silence he had been waiting for, if only because everyone waited for his reply.  Finally turning to look at the man, and nearly shouted for joy when he recognized him. "What the fuck took you so long?!" He bounded toward the man happily, forgetting momentarily about the previously agitating events. 

The man blinked, still unable to clear his hang-over fogged brain. "Huh?"

"You were supposed to be my best man, you idiot!"

"I was?" The drunkard replied intelligently.

"Don't you remember?"

No, the man did not remember, but he would pretend to remember to avoid upsetting the dark group to his right who seemed to be growling menacingly at him. "What do I have to do?"

Inu-Yasha dragged the man up to the front of the altar, trying to push his sibling out of the way. "Just stand where my bastard brother is standing and try not to throw up." He turned to his brother, grinning maniacally, "You can go stand with the others now, Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru scoffed, but went to stand by their father.  Their father muttered some disapproving phrases, but Inu-Yasha ignored them; the wedding was making a turn for the better, and he wasn't about to jinx its momentum.  

Kagome just stared in shock at Sesshomaru for a few seconds.  **So that really is a man? Why does he look like he's wearing eye shadow then? This is all so confusing.  She turned back to face Inu-Yasha, who was glaring threateningly at Miroku.**

"Start the ceremony, monk, or I swear I will make it so you can NEVER have children." Inu-Yasha smirked darkly to emphasize the sincerity of his threat. 

Miroku gulped audibly, before laughing nervously "Some people have no sense of humor." Breathing out, he put on his most solemn expression, "Well, if there are no further objections-"

"I object!" A voice echoed through the shrine as a figure dressed in black entered the shrine, the blinding sunlight behind him obscuring his features.  His cape billowed in an aero-dynamically impossible fashion, since there was no wind. 

Kagome squinted to see the latest interruption to her wedding. She was sure it was someone trivial until she recognized the shadowed face. "Hojo?" 

            _Back at the Masterpiece Theatre set, the comfy leather chairs are mysteriously absent.  The reason becomes apparent as Sango is seen chasing Miroku up and down the room swinging her boomerang._

_Sango: You proposed to Kagome at her wedding (swings wildly)?!  What kind of playboy are you?!_  

_Miroku: (Stops suddenly, surprising the demon exterminator; takes her hand in his) Sango, you know that no one could replace you in my heart! (Lifts her hand to his cheek, rubbing it tenderly) I will always love you the most!_

_Sango: (Blushes furiously and sweatdrops) Houshi-sama… (shakes her head) What am I THINKING?! You just asked a woman to bear your child while performing a marriage!_

_Miroku: Oh come on Sango, it wasn't THAT bad.  Besides, I am only planning on using what Rambler promised me on you!_

_Sango: (suddenly very suspicious) And what would that be?_

_Miroku: (satanic smile) You'll see around chapter 10.  (Looks innocently at audience) So the second half of chapter 4 should be coming out on either Saturday or Sunday, depending on how much energy Rambler has._

_Sango: Yes, Rambler has her AP Euro test on Friday afternoon, followed by Grad Night at Disney World until seven in the morning.  And then she has to sing at an aunt's wedding at __noon__. _

_Miroku: Yes, this is also a blatant attempt for sympathy. Don't send any cannibals after her, the movie __Hannibal__ REALLY freaked her out. Till then folks!_

_Sango: Don't forget to review (looks pointedly at button at the left hand bottom side of the screen)! _


	5. Chapter 4 continued: Part 2 of D Day

_As usual, Miroku is seated ever so comfortably in the lounge chairs on the Masterpiece theatre set as the trumpet music plays.  The feeling of clichéd pleasantness the set usually creates is hampered, however, by the broken vases and knocked over book cases strewn about the set.  Sango enters with a dust pan and a garbage bag._

_Sango: I can't believe Rambler is making me clean this up. (begins to collect vase fragments off the floor)_

_Miroku: Well your swinging that huge boomerang of yours at me did cause the mess._

_Sango: (muttering to herself) But you deserved it for proposing to Kagome-chan during her wedding. Not to mention it wouldn't have caused the mess if you had just stayed still…_

_Miroku: (Smiling in a sweet, innocent smile at Sango) What was that, dearest Sango?_

_Sango: (Returning the smile in an almost insane fashion) Nothing, houshi-sama!_

_Miroku: (Once again solemn) But seriously, you did offer to clean up the mess._

_Sango: Only after Rambler laid one of her famous Irish Catholic guilt trips on me.  _

_Miroku: (Devious grin) Who said it was Irish Catholic?_

_Sango: (Dryly) Let me guess, YOU taught her, didn't you?_

_Miroku: (A holy light streams from the heavens) I always try to follow Buddha's example and share my gifts with others!_

_Sango: (Rolls her eyes) Anyway readers, welcome the second part of Kagome and Inu-Yasha's wedding.  Before we begin, ( moves to pick up more vase fragments) let's have another disclaimer from Earl the Lawyer._

_Earl: (Walks to the center of the room) I want all of you to think really hard.  If Rambler owned Inu-Yasha, why would this be published here? Why would she torture me, instead of the taking the millions she would have made in sales and vacationing in __Tahiti__? She may be insane but surely not that- (Thunder rumbles in the background, warning Earl that he is going to far. Earl jumps in the air in terror and then starts to run off the set) I'm sorry your greatness! Please! I can be good!!!!!_

_Miroku: (Shakes his head) At least Rambler warned him this time instead of just frying the guy._

_Sango: (nods thoughtfully as she continues to clean) She must be getting more caffeine lately.  Oh, by the way, Rambler leaves notes to reviewers who ask questions in the Review section.  She thought it would wreck the disclaimers if she answered them in this section. _

_Miroku: In other words, she was too lazy to write to you all in here.  Oh well, enjoy the fic!  _

**Chapter 4 Part 2**

_D-Day_

            "Hojo?" Kagome asked incredulously as she peered at the figure standing in the doorway of the shrine.  

            "Yes, Kagome," Hojo said valiantly. His chest puffed outward and his fists were firmly planted on either hip as proof of his heroic motives.  Smiling at the floor confidently, he turned to face what he thought was his beloved damsel in distress, flames dancing behind him.  "I have come to save you from this… this..." He _really_ had a personal distaste for fowl language "Man!"

            "What?!" Kagome's jaw dropped to the floor.  She had thought Hojo always had a crush on her, but never severe enough to do something so bold, and so stupid.  Hojo was always quiet, and reserved; the essence of the word gentleman, if a little on the thick side.  Normally, Kagome would have outright laughed in the face of any idiot who suggested Hojo to be this daring.  And yet here he was, looking completely unrepentant for interrupting her wedding, with a cape billowing behind him in the non-existent wind. 

            Inu-Yasha could do nothing but stare at the intruder.  This was just perfect.  Just when he managed to get everything back on track, or at least heading in the direction of the track, 'Mr. I'm Borrowing My Lines from a Second Rate Romance Novel' shows up.  It wasn't that he thought of this as his real wedding, or that he had any illusions the day would go smoothly, but this was just screwed up.  The event was being sliced and diced by clichés.  Moreover his mother was developing the nervous twitch she usually got before a nervous breakdown.  **This Hobo guy is just asking for it…**  

            Miroku scratched his head; this certainly wasn't something he had anticipated.  Sesshomaru burning down the shrine, Inu-Yasha attempting to murder Sesshomaru in the middle of the wedding, Kikyo suddenly returning and raising hell, these were all things he had expected.  He had even prepared for the eventuality of the hanyou's mother suddenly having a psychotic episode, or his demon relatives attacking Kagome's relatives.  Yet strangely, of all of the possible catastrophes which seemed likely to happen, he had never thought someone Kagome knew would be the cause.  "Um… if you wouldn't mind me asking Sir, who exactly are you?" He asked, trying his best to smile at the man.  If he didn't step in and solve this problem with diplomacy, Inu-Yasha was going to solve it with some good old fashion ass kicking in a matter of minutes.  He could already see the hanyou begin to shake with rage.

            Hojo began to stride down the aisle, his cape gliding with the thrusts of his step. "I am Kagome-chan's rightful fiancée!" He informed Miroku audaciously, "I am here to claim her, and punish this… this…" Again he found himself having difficulty coming up with names to call the hanyou that were degrading and yet not vulgar "Creature." 

            Miroku nodded thoughtfully, and turned to Kagome "Is that true, Kagome-sama?" 

            Kagome sputtered a few times before answering, blue eyes wide in dismay "No!  Hojo is merely a childhood friend!"

            Miroku raised an eyebrow, "Then why didn't you invite him to the wedding?"

            "I did!" The frustrated bride cried defensively, throwing back the hood that covered her ornate headdress. "He told me he had to help someone that day!"

            "That someone is you Kagome!" Hojo exclaimed passionately, reaching out to Kagome, who flinched in response.  "I heard what you said four days ago. You told me you didn't want to marry the jerk, that a marriage 'shouldn't be a bargain'!"  

            Forgotten in the background, a certain hanyou flinched at his choice of words.  This had to end.  He knew the sky was going to fall today, but he was not about to let a volcano erupt as well.  His mother looked like she was about to have a heart attack, only succeeding in breathing because of his father's arm on her shoulder and murmurings in her ear. Besides, the little girl was visibly trembling from the chaos of the past twenty minutes.  He couldn't have her back out on him now.  

            Kagome's left eye twitched, feeling the pounding of a massive migraine coming on.  "I never said I didn't plan on marrying him Hojo, only that I wasn't sure if this is how I wanted my marriage to go!"

            "Besides," The exasperated boy reasoned, "How can you say we were only child friends?  Surely you knew I had every intention of marrying you once my apprenticeship was over?!" It abruptly occurred to Hojo that his plan for whisking Kagome away was going absolutely nothing like it was supposed to.  Why did the hero always meet such interference? 

            "Enough."    

            "We have a future together!" Hojo declared, ignorant to the dangerously low voice which just spoke.  He was going to save the day if it killed him.  Hojo had worked long and hard preparing this little marriage interruption, practicing the lines he chose over and over again to make sure of their conviction and passion.  It couldn't blow up in his face so quickly. 

            "I said, enough!" The growling voice insisted.

            Hojo was too far gone in his rant of love to hear anything besides himself at the moment. "I love you, Kagome! You just can't ignore destiny! You can't ignore love! It will always be there-"

            "ENOUGH!" Inu-Yasha howled, finally succeeding in silencing Hojo, who gaped at the fanged half-demon in fear.  

Realizing the villain often gets a bit miffed when his devious plot is foiled, Hojo had been prepared to deal with an angry groom.  But he had been prepared to deal with an angry _human groom.  The creature before him with molten gold eyes of fire was much different than he had expected.  As the groom glared at him through his narrow eyes, Hojo found him to look quite feral, even carnivorous… Hojo gulped audibly as he realized his best karate moves would probably to nothing more than tickle this demon.  Petrified with dread, he tried to reconcile himself with his upcoming death in the name of love. **When you think of it that way, it doesn't sound too bad… It's almost heroic…**_

            Inu-Yasha stormed over to the boy, and picked up his dumb-struck figure in two ease moves. "Look Hobo, or whatever your fucking name is:" Inu-Yasha barked out as he carried the man slung over his shoulder to the door of the shrine like a sack of vegetables, "If you ever step foot on this property again, I swear I will kick your ass all the way back to your home village, you got that? I don't want to see your shitty face ever, EVER again!" He dropped the boy outside the shrine, letting him fall to the ground in a crumpled heap. "Consider your life a wedding present to my bride".   

Slamming the doors shut, Inu-Yasha turned, only to hear a comment from one of Kagome's relatives.    "Dear, you really shouldn't have put back your hood! The headdress is not supposed to be revealed during the ceremony! Now look what you have done! The gods will be angry and your marriage will have bad luck!" Kagome's upper lip began to tremble slightly as the relative, apparently an aunt, continued to chastise her on breaking tradition. 

            She was going to cry, at her own damn wedding no less. **Well screw all of them, Inu-Yasha thought darkly. "THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT WITH ALL OF YOU FUCKERS!" Inu-Yasha shouted, still standing at the door.  He unsheathed his sword, and lifted a clawed hand at all of his and his bride's relatives. "EVERYONE BUT THE BRIDE AND THE MONK GET OUT! GET OUT NOW OR I WILL RIP ALL OF YOU TO SHREDS SO HELP ME GODS!" Many of Kagome's family quite willingly left the shrine upon noticing the hanyou's  violent temper and momentarily homicidal tendencies.  They flew out the door, trampling over poor Hojo in their wake.  But some just didn't quite get the hint, looking at the raging groom with wide eyed shock.  He was forced to begin dragging the members of Kagome's family outside by their wrists, three or four at a time. Luckily Souta and Kagome's grandfather went willingly, and pulled her mother out with them.  **

            As Inu-Yasha heaved the humans off the premises, Miroku decided to help him with those demons who felt the need to hesitate out of spite.  Smirking darkly at them, he held up his right hand. "Would you all like a demonstration of how my kazaana works?" He asked amiably. Sadly, the threat only worked on a few, leaving about five sadistic souls left.  Miroku racked his brain for something to bribe them into leaving.  **Aha! I'm sure Inu-Yasha will find this amusing, although Kagome-sama won't… "You know, I know Yamura-sama forbids you all from indulging in torturing humans, but I am sure he wouldn't mind you all hurting the boy who ruined his son's wedding…" He suggested conspiratorially.  Sure enough, the rest of Inu-Yasha's family found the opportunity to play with a human without consequences too promising to pass up.  Feeling a small pang of guilt, he quickly said a protection spell for Hojo, hoping it would last long enough for him to make a get away.   The boy may have been clueless, but stupidity was no reason for him to die. **

            Satisfied he had done his part, he turned to see Inu-Yasha throw the last human out of the shrine and seal the doors with a heavy wooden plank. "There," he huffed, "Maybe we can actually have a wedding ceremony now." Feeling much better after his workout of dragging people back and forth, Inu-Yasha returned to the altar of the shrine, only to see the loathed canker sore of his life. No matter how he tried, he just couldn't get the guy to go away permanently. "And I just locked the door." He groaned, glaring sourly at his brother, "Why the fuck are you still here, Sesshomaru?" 

            Sesshomaru nearly smiled at the irony of the situation. "Someone has to be the witness for your marriage. The elders of the girl's village won't validate it without one." 

            "I didn't carry out the drunk," Inu-Yasha pointed out snidely, ears still plastered to his skull, "He can be our fucking witness." 

            "Ah, but he is out cold." Sure enough, Inu-Yasha's best man was unconscious in a puddle of his own slobber, convulsing slightly on the right side of the altar.

            "Look you bastard, I don't care about any shitty traditions-"

            "Inu-Yasha?" Kagome asked tiredly, looking at him with firm but worn eyes. "Let's just get this over with, before the building caves in." She smiled faintly at him, suddenly amused by the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. While Inu-Yasha had been chasing and hauling out all of their guests, she had felt like curling up into a ball and dying.  But she was beyond that now.  The stress of the situation caused her to look at the whole thing from a sort of aerial view, seeing the events from afar. First the priest asks her to have his child, and then Hojo tries to stop the wedding and declares his undying devotion.  And to top it all off, she had apparently jinxed her already doomed marriage by taking off the sacred hood.  It was all rather funny, in a macabre, twisted way. 

She found herself bent over, giggling hysterically.  Tears rolled down the crinkles in her eyes, cheeks and mouth, caused by both humor and exhaustion.  Inu-Yasha was looking at her strangely, almost as if he were afraid for her mental health. She suddenly felt like asking him another question about fruit, but resisted the temptation.  "Are you alright?" He asked cautiously, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"No," She choked through the chuckles racking her form, "But I will be once this thing is over." Meeting his eyes, she clasped his hand in hers and forced both of them back into a kneeling position before the altar.  "Let your brother be the witness, someone should get some kind of joy out of the ceremony."  She mused. 

Inu-Yasha pouted but decided not to add to her seemingly fragile state.   He suddenly felt very guilty for dragging her through this.  It was almost like he was condemning her to his mother's fate.  **Okay, so nominate me for Bastard of the Year! He thought, trying to snap himself out of the grip of these uncomfortable emotions, ****I am doing the best I damn well can, screw her if she doesn't appreciate it!  Yet even as he shrugged off any concern for her in his thoughts, he squeezed her hand as Miroku attempted to perform the marriage ceremony for a third time.**

"Okay, this time, who cares if anyone objects." Miroku rubbed his hands together before reciting numerous blessings over the couple.  It was best to get this done quickly, he still wasn't convinced the guests wouldn't try to break in.  

Kagome breathed in and out, calming herself as she stared at Miroku's praying form.  This was it, she was actually marrying the half-demon next to her.  It had all seemed sort of surreal until this moment, her hand firmly clasped in his.  Yet as the reality of the situation washed over her, she felt strangely at ease, as if she could trust Inu-Yasha.  Sure the boy was violent, arrogant, moody, insulting, insensitive, and tactless, but that wasn't all.  He had saved her cat, and now he had salvaged what was left of their wedding.  He had even refrained from killing Hojo for her sake.  Perhaps the next six months wouldn't be that bad after all.

  Inu-Yasha looked over at his bride, and found himself seeing Kikyo in her place.  It should have been Kikyo kneeling beside him.  But it wasn't as painful as he thought it would be that she was not the one next to him.  There was still the perpetual dull ache in his heart, but it wasn't the all consuming throb of heartbreak and self pity he had expected at being married to someone who could have easily passed for Kikyo's double. 

Maybe this was because he didn't see her as simply Kikyo's doppelganger anymore.  After actually spending sometime with the girl, he realized how different they were.  She was nothing like his former fiancée in spirit.   The girl was dramatic and emotional, freely showing how she felt with no reserve.  Kikyo was diffident and tranquil, more the type to quietly reflect on her emotions rather than express them.  The girl was a bit strange, but proud of her odd wit and eccentricities, while Kikyo wanted with all of her heart and soul to be as normal as possible.  Kikyo's eyes were that of mist on a lake, the girl's eyes were that of the ocean in twilight.  Even their smells were different.  Kikyo's scent always reminded him jasmine, and never failed to give him the heady sensation he was floating.  The girl just smelled fresh and light, like spring grass and rainwater, with the slightest hint of sakura petals. He didn't quite know what he felt  whenever he inhaled her gentle scent, other than a sort of peace, like falling back onto a pillow. 

            Maybe it was the fact that she was no longer just some girl to him.  Over the past few days, she had turned into something else in his mind, she had been transformed into Kagome.   And seeing her as Kagome, a person with problems, doubts, fears, joys and loves made the whole 'ball and chain' thing much more endurable.  He found that Kagome was someone he could actually like, not that all of him wanted to.  

            "And now it is time for the vows." Miroku announced soberly, fully engrossed in his "monk mode".  Both Kagome and Inu-Yasha were shook from their thoughts by Miroku's announcement.  Kagome's throat felt parched as Miroku's eyes met hers.  The vows, she had almost forgotten about the vows.  **Do I have to say forever? I really don't want to lie, especially before the gods in a shrine.   Miroku smiled as he spoke, "Do you, Kagome, take Inuyasha to be your husband" **I'm going to go to hell for lying in the house of the gods, aren't I? "**In sickness and in health," **All of the demons will probably make fun of me too. A miko trapped in hell, how ironic.** "For richer or for poorer," **Well, here goes my shot at heaven…** "As long as you both stay married?" **

            Kagome sputtered, looking at Miroku curiously.  **Wait a minute… aren't the words till death do you part, or for as long as you both shall live? What the…? It became clear as Miroku smiled gently in response to her questioning gaze, giving her a wink almost completely free of lechery.  ****Did Inu-Yasha…?   The boy in question fixed his gaze directly in front of him, looking oblivious to what Miroku had said.  Yet his tanned cheeks took on a slightly pink hue.  **

            Sesshomaru snorted, crossing his arms over his chest, "Looks like your bride is hesitating, mongrel." Inu-Yasha did not reply, still staring fiercely at the wall behind Miroku's head, mouth tightly pierced.

            Kagome opened her mouth, to answer, but stopped herself.  Turning to Inu-Yasha, she smiled slightly, eyes warming as she saw he was blushing even more.  Obviously he had talked the monk into changing the words, but she couldn't figure out why. "I do." She answered Miroku, letting her eyes linger on Inu-Yasha's face as she spoke.

            Miroku's smile widened, it had worked like a charm.  The girl was infinitely less tense at the slight change in words, just as Inu-Yasha suspected she would be.  His gaze turned to the blushing hanyou, who also knew Kagome had been affected by the choice of words. Schooling his features, Miroku returned to "monk mode". "Do you, Inu-Yasha, take Kagome to be your wife, in sickness and in health, for richer of for poorer, as long as you both stay married?" 

            "I do." Inu-Yasha muttered, still having problems keeping the red from heating his cheeks.   He didn't know why he was behaving this way, it wasn't a big deal.  So he did something nice and asked Miroku to change some of the wording of the vows to make her more comfortable.  That was no reason for him to be blushing like some goofy teenage boy, like that 'Harpo' kid.  And yet his mutinous body just wouldn't obey his commands. 

            Sesshomaru sighed with disgust and began gliding down the aisle toward the exit.  Inu-Yasha turned toward him growling, "Where are you going, bastard?"

            "This display of awkward blushing is too disgusting for even my stomach.  I will cannot tolerate any more cuteness occurring." He had been so sure this wedding was going to be agonizing for Inu-Yasha.  Sesshomaru felt cheated, this sudden tenderness was such an anti-climax to the ceremony's promising prior catastrophes. 

            "Now look here you son of a bitch-" 

            "Forget it, Inu-Yasha," Miroku interjected quickly, "I only have one more line."

            "Well then get it over with you damn monk!"

            Miroku let out a long suffering sigh. "What ever happened to respecting the servants of Buddha?" 

            "MIROKU!"

            "Fine, fine!" The monk waved his right hand in a placating manner as he held his staff over their heads, "I now pronounce you man and wife!" 

            "About fucking time." Inu-Yasha grumbled as he helped Kagome to her feet, and escorted her to the door. 

            Sesshomaru opened the door, revealing all of Kagome's family and Inu-Yasha's mother and father anxiously standing outside.  "There you are!" The same aunt who chastised Kagome on her headdress fopa exclaimed to her niece, "We were sure he had offered you up as some sort of virgin sacrifice to the gods!"

            Looking at her with a disdain most hold for rodents, Sesshomaru decided to correct her, "No mortal, we do not sacrifice virgins. We just rape them and then torture them to death." 

            "Urusai prick!" Inu-Yasha growled at his brother, noticing Kagome go deathly pale. 

            "Well, on that note," Miroku chirped, exiting the shrine to join the others "Let's eat!"

            The others grumbled, but begrudgingly trudged toward the castle's entrance.  Kagome stood for a moment, still dazed from her rather odd wedding.  Taking her hand, Inu-Yasha began to lead her toward the others. "Come on, Kagome."  

            Her blue eyes widened in shock.  "You used my name."  **Not 'little girl', 'wench' or 'bitch'…   **

            Of coarse no perfectly nice moment could last long when it involved Inu-Yasha. "Yeah, I figured I should be a little more informal since you now are officially my ball and chain…"

            "Your WHAT?"  Kagome's eyes narrowed as she stopped walking. 

            "Well you know, I am shackled to your crazy ass for the next six months and 

I-"  WHACK. Inu-Yasha found himself eating dirt, legs hoisted in the air.  Women were always so irrationally sensitive. 

            Feeling much better, Kagome dragged the hanyou to his feet.  "Come on," She urged, her voice dripping with the false sweetness of sarcasm, "Lets get going, husband dearest." 

            He almost laughed in spite of himself.  **She got over that last comment quickly.   "Whatever you say, Battle Ax."  She chuckled as she hooked her arm in his,  merrily heading to the door of the castle.   
  **

_            Back on the Masterpiece Theater set, Sango looks very pale as she sits in her lounge chair. She twitches slightly as she watches Miroku laugh maniacally.  Thunder crashes all around them, even though they are indoors._

_Sango: (Still pale, but trying to regain her composure) Readers, I have some good news, some bad news, and some down right horrible news.  The good news is that Rambler is going to have the next chapter up by this upcoming Saturday night; the bad news is only if you give her your opinion on some things.   The next chapter is Kagome and Inu's wedding night, and she wants to know if you guys would prefer this to be a R rated fic, or keep it at the low citrus content level of PG-13. There won't be a full out lemon either way, but if she goes to R the next chapter will have a good deal of citrus. _

_Miroku: (Giggles insanely to himself as he rubs his hands together in anticipation)_

_Sango: (Twitches) And now for the absolutely ridiculously horrible news.  Rambler is so tired that she is considering letting Miroku write the next chapter for her so  she, being the lazy slob she is, won't have to do it.  She wants to know whether Miroku or she should write the chapter._

_Miroku: YES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I am going to have SO much fun with the newly weds!_

_Sango: (Crys) Its just so wrong! You've got to stop her from letting the hentai write this! Oh the humanity! How can one woman be so cruel!?_

_Miroku: (Pats Sango on the back) Don't cry, Sango, I will take EXCELLENT care of Kagome and Inu-Yasha! (Looks indignant and holy) I can't believe you do not trust a monk!_

_Sango: (Cries harder, falls to knees begging the readers) PLEASE STOP HER! Who knows what sort of twisted plan houshi-sama has for them!  _


	6. Chapter 5 Trust

_Huge, thunderous storm clouds have somehow managed to get onto the set of Masterpiece Theater.  Instead of the usual trumpet music, the "Funeral March" is blaring in the background, giving the claps of thunder a run for their money. Sango is hiding under her seat in crash position, a helmet secured over her brown hair.  Miroku is laughing insanely as he looks at his borrowed toy, a black Dell computer complete with printer and loud speakers._

_Sango: (Glaring at the readers) I asked you to STOP her, NOT encourage her._

_Miroku:(Assuming the He-Man pose) I HAVE THE POWER! (Giggles insanely to himself as he begins typing)._

_Sango: (Heaves a sigh tearfully) Besides a few sane ones among you, most of you wanted a citrus-filled chapter by the lech.  I really do not understand WHY.  Do you have any idea the horror you people have caused?_

_Earl the Lawyer: (Jumps heroically onto the set) Never fear Sango, Earl is here! _

_Sango: (Looks at Earl critically from her crash position) And what can you do, Earl-san?_

_Earl the Lawyer: (A cocky smile lights his face as he crosses his arms) Rambling Coffee Addict sent me to give a certain amount of rules that the monk has to abide by in order to write this chapter.  _

_Miroku:(Looks up with a horrified expression from the computer) What?! She never mentioned rules!_

_Earl the Lawyer: Well, some of the readers made a very good point about how dangerous it was to let you write citrus without any kind of supervision.  So you have to abide by these small rules (thrusts a huge stack of paper on top of the computer).  And if you hurt her precious Demetri in any way, shape or form, she will hunt you down, and rip your heart out with a plastic spork._

_Sango: (Whistles) Geez… and she's a pacifist.  Not too mention she claims to love you.  _

_Miroku: Who's Demitri?_

_Earl the Lawyer: Her computer.  Any way, the punishment for breaking one of the rules is not as severe, merely being struck by lightning._

_Sango: That's her punishment for everything.  _

_Earl the Lawyer: (Shrugs) She likes lightning. (Looks at the readers) So getting back to the other part of my job, Rambling Coffee Addict doesn't own Inu-Yasha or any of its characters, but does own Miroku's chapter, since it is okay to steal from anime characters. (Looks very serious) And folks, Rambler changed the rating of this story for adult content and citrus, so remember that this is a STRONG R rating.  _

_Miroku: (Looks over the rules pouting) Oh, she just had to ruin this for me didn't she._

_Sango: (Still in crash position) Well, after a very long wait, here you are readers, Chapter 5.  Enjoy!_

**Chapter 5**

_Trust _

"It's so beautiful!" Higurashi-san gushed, happily looking over the painting Kagome's grandfather had gotten made especially for the wedding ceremony.  The picture was on display in the banquet hall, perfectly centered in the room so no one could miss it.  The painting elaborately depicted Kagome sitting on Inu-Yasha's back, trying to choke him as the hanyou tugged at a fist full of her hair, trying to tear it out.  The woman sighed contentedly, pulling her highly disturbed daughter closer to her at the large table, "Ah, young love!" Kagome sweat-dropped at that comment.

            Inu-Yasha grumbled in his seat next to Kagome as his family members heckled the portrait, making jarring remarks about who was 'on top' in the relationship.  He hated big celebrations like weddings, anniversary parties, or even New Year's for that matter.   They were occasions when society deemed it absolutely necessary to spend time with his family.  But family time never came with the normal bonding and gushing society seemed to tell him were called for, but rather with bitter sarcasm, tons of sake, and more than a few injuries.  Celebrations in honor of him were worse, however, which made this whole wedding feast thing even more despicable.  He couldn't just fade into the corner and wait for his torture to end.  No, he had to sit burning from the glare of the spotlight, a sort of sacrificial pig roasting while everyone else poked and prodded it to see if it was done yet.   

            Rolling his eyes as his new mother-in-law prattled away about how much trouble Kagome's grandfather had gone through to get the portrait made, Inu-Yasha tapped his fingers against the table, idly wondering when the servants were going to serve the feast.   All of the guests were seated along the long oak tables, which were pushed together to form a 'u' against the sides of the hall.  The center of the room was left open for dancing after the eagerly awaited feast. Candles adorned every table, casting a warm glow over the dank stone walls.  The entire atmosphere was intimate and inviting, but all Inu-Yasha could get out of it was absolute boredom.  He almost wished some of his relatives would start trying to tear each other apart just so he wouldn't be this bored to death anymore.  

            "I would like to make a toast," Sesshomaru stood up suddenly, taking everyone by surprise, "Since I _am_ the best man."   

Inu-Yasha suddenly missed his bored state of five seconds ago. Head in his hands he grumbled under his breath, "No asshole, the best man is passed out in the shrine."   This was going to be horrible, he just knew it.  His head was already beginning to pound in anticipation of the upcoming headache.

            Sesshomaru didn't even acknowledge his brother's pathetic attempt to stop him.  Raising his glass solemnly, his eyes gleamed as he spoke "To Kikyo, for escaping a fate worse than death."  There was a deafening void where there should have been boisterous cheers and the musical clanking of glass.  Goblets remained raised in the air, as many guests did not know what to make of Sesshomaru's toast.  Although he usually hated public speaking, since the public were usually such simpletons anyway, Sesshomaru had to admit that his little speech had a very delicious effect.  He couldn't help the urge to beam at the dark hatred, embarrassment, and guilt flashing through his brother's eyes, and the honest confusion in that of his bride's.    
            Right as Inu-Yasha was about to pull out his sword and rid himself of his accursed brother once and for all, an elderly woman stood up in the far corner of the banquet hall.  "I would like to propose a toast as well." The stout woman's gravelly voice sounded with forced cheerfulness, commanding everyone's attention with her authoritative presence, even that of the momentarily homicidal groom.  "To Kagome,"  She turned her sharp, beady eyes on the bewildered girl, "May your marriage to Inu-Yasha be filled with nothing but happiness and prosperity.  I have yet to get to know you as well as your husband, but if you were chosen for such a unique individual, than you must be quite special." Smiling warmly, she turned toward the other guests, whose glasses were still raised from the previous toast. "I know I speak for everyone when I wish you nothing but the best." Finally realizing this was their cue, the guests clapped rigidly, still not fully recovered from the previous toast.  

            Kagome turned to Inu-Yasha as the feast was finally served, unable to get what Sesshomaru had said to leave her mind.  "Inu-Yasha, who is Kikyo?"  She asked quietly, observing his pensive expression. 

            Staring straight ahead, Inu-Yasha refused to take his eyes off his brother for a moment. "I'll tell you later." He muttered.  His heart pumped furiously in his chest, his blood screaming at him to tear the bastard to pieces.  How dare he. How dare he sit there as if he had not just ripped his heart out once again and stabbed it repeatedly with his sword.  How dare he not meet his gaze, instead passively listening to some relative drone on and on.  He had been so close to going a whole hour and a half without thinking of her.  She was the last thing he needed on his mind, and Sesshomaru just had to slam her in his face; mocking him before all of his guests.  **Why haven't I killed the fucking bastard yet?     **

            "Well, don't bother to say hello or anything." A familiar voice grated, causing Inu-Yasha to look up from his dark thoughts.  

Looking up he realized the old woman who had given the toast was standing before him, pudgy arms crossed over her chest, her creased face wearing a slightly chiding expression. "Kaede…" 

Raising an eyebrow, her frown deepened.  "That's all you have to say? And after I just saved your hide too." She shook her head in mock disappointment, grumbling "He doesn't even have the courtesy to introduce me to his lovely young bride; how terribly rude."   

Inu-Yasha smirked slightly, deciding to rise to the woman's jabs.  "You're always so impatient you old hag.  Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was just trying to spare my bride from your hideous presence so soon after the wedding?" 

Bristling slightly, Kaede retorted "Inu-Yasha, you can test _anyone's_ patience, even that of this elderly miko.   And even if I were a baka such as yourself, I would not insult the person tutoring your wife."  She hissed menacingly at the unimpressed hanyou.

"Of fine, Kaede-baba." He waved his hand in the vague direction of Kagome, "Kagome, this is the miko Kaede, and she will be helping you with all of the miko shit.  Kaede-baba, this is my ball and chain, Kagome, a miko who can't control her powers."

Kagome's eyebrow twitched. "Thank-you, _dearest husband_, for the fabulous introduction." She growled through clenched teeth.

            "No problem, wench." Inu-Yasha grinned at her smugly.

            "Actually, Kagome, your husband spoke very highly of you earlier when he was telling me of your plight." Kaede informed the girl with a slight smile, noticing the way the hanyou's cheeks darkened.   Her smile widened when she found a similar blush forming on Kagome's cheeks. 

            Before Kagome could ask more about the priestess, a deep voice interrupted, "Kaede-sama! It has been so long since I've seen you!" Miroku strode up to the trio, smiling broadly.  

            Nodding slightly in return, Kaede graced the younger man with a pleasant smile. "It is nice to see you too, Miroku.  Found anyone to bear your child yet?" 

            Miroku shook his head, with a slightly mournful expression. "No, but the night is still young, and there are plenty of ladies here just waiting for me to ask them.  You know how weddings put women in the mood." 

            Kaede stared at him flatly. "No, I don't." 

            The monk turned to Kagome and Inu-Yasha, "And how is my favorite pair of newly weds?" 

            Fidgeting in his seat as Kagome began to sip on her wine, Inu-Yasha grumbled in response. "Very anxious to get out of this hellhole."

            "I'll bet that's just because you can't wait for what comes _after…" Miroku accused suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at his friend.  Suddenly the conversation was struggling to remain on life support.  Kagome choked on her drink, coughing and sputtering as Kaede patted her back.  Inu-Yasha lost his normally tanned complexion, turning a ghostly white. His eyes widening in remembrance of the factor he had forgotten. What would have been a very funny or at least mildly amusing quip at any other wedding reception was just a barb at what was going to be very awkward.  Miroku had known he was going to be sending the conversation into a coma, but there was no other way to bring the subject to Inu-Yasha's attention.  And gauging his reaction, he had been right in assuming the hanyou had forgotten one of the most important details of the night.    
            Being the benevolent soul he was, Miroku took it upon himself to rectify the situation.  After all, Inu-Yasha was like the younger brother he never had or even wanted.  Why shouldn't he share his immense knowledge and expertise with a man he considered family?  He had always tried to be as generous as he could with his talents and skills, if not with the money in his satchel.  He bowed elaborately before the choking bride and the elderly miko before grabbing Inu-Yasha's arm to lift him from his seat. "If you will excuse us, my dear ladies, I would like to catch up with my old friend here, since it has been _so_ long since I have last seen him." _

            Inu-Yasha stuttered as Miroku tried to drag him away, looking over his shoulder at the two women. "It's only been a month…"

            "Oh but hasn't _seemed_ like forever?" Miroku said, eyeing Inu-Yasha with an intent "come with me now" expression.  

            Wearily decided to oblige the monk, Inu-Yasha played along, snorting in disbelief. "You probably just want another loan, bouzo…." He replied casually as he followed Miroku.  

            Miroku led Inu-Yasha out of the castle, in to the darkness of the garden, stopping every few moments to check for any suspicious movement among the shadows of the foliage.  Stopping a good forty or fifty feet from the castle, his eyes darted about suspiciously. "Inu-Yasha, do you smell any of your relatives close by, or Sesshomaru?" 

            Inu-Yasha paused inhaling the night air slowly, "Just the drunk, still passed out in the shrine." 

            Breathing a sigh of relief, Miroku fixed Inu-Yasha with a knowing look, causing the hanyou to take a few uneasy steps backwards.  "You forgot about the wedding night, didn't you?"

            Inu-Yasha gaped at the monk, hating the way Miroku read him so easily.  Was it that obvious?  "No, you damn monk, I just don't obsess about it like _some_ hentai bastards!" He snapped, trying to soothe his slightly dented ego. 

            "It's understandable, Inu-Yasha." Miroku said quietly, "No one can say the last few days have been easy for you." He reassured softly, before smirking in the darkness, "Not to mention you aren't the type to think ahead."

            "Urasai!" Inu-Yasha hissed, before falling to the ground in a cross legged position, hands tucked in his midnight colored kimono. "It's not like the solution is that hard anyway," He reasoned, eyebrows knitted together in thought, "I just tell her we aren't going to do anything, and she'll sleep on the floor." 

            Miroku guffawed; he had never heard anything more naïve.  Man was this boy lucky he had him here to set him straight. "First of all, baka, I doubt your wife will readily agree to sleep on the floor."

            "Well it's my bed, so that's too fucking bad-"

            Miroku's foot collided with the hanyou's head. "I'm not done yet.  Secondly, you are forgetting a very important factor in this equation."

            "Which would be…?" Inu-Yasha gritted out sarcastically as he attempted to shove the monk's foot off of his face. 

            "Your brother, if not the whole clan of your demon relatives." Inu-Yasha stopped struggling abruptly, his eyes filled with dread.  Miroku removed his foot from Inu-Yasha's face to sit down beside the hanyou. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but all demons can smell arousal, cannot the not?"  
            "Within a certain distance… maybe thirty, forty feet…"  Inu-Yasha whispered, suddenly dazed by the implications of where this was heading. 

            "How much are you willing to wager they will make sure the wedding is consummated, if only by checking to see that they smell your musk coming from your room?"

            Inu-Yasha went rigid. "He'd do it," His voice was full of resentment as he resigned himself to the extent to which Sesshomaru would make sure he was suffering, "The fucking bastard would probably be in the next room, just to make sure." Shaking in frustration, he punched his fist into stone path. "But I can't Miroku! If I had sex with her I would be mated to her! For fucking ever!"

            He expected Miroku to offer him some sort of sympathy, or at least give him a solemn speech to resign himself to his inevitable fate.  Instead, he found the monk to have an almost devilishly depraved grin plastered on his boyish features, and his eyes shining in an almost unholy light.   "How much do you know about sex, Inu-Yasha?"  He asked in an almost idol fashion.

            The hanyou moved away from the monk, severely disturbed by his expression. "Umm… a bit too much, considering that time Sesshomaru gagged me and tied me to the rafters of my parents' room when I was five…" He shuddered at the horrible mental imagery the memory of that night brought back. 

            "Then surely you know there is more than one way to achieve orgasm?"

            Inu-Yasha wanted out of this conversation, now. "I'm getting the fuck out of here." He tried to get up, only to have a staff block his path.

            "Who would you like to talk to about this: option a, Sesshomaru, option b, your father, or option c, myself?"

            "I'll take option d, no one." 

            Miroku sighed. "Look, I am not doing this because I am enjoying this-"

            "But you are!" Inu-Yasha pointed out, a pout spreading across his features. 

            Miroku couldn't help the smirk, "Yes, but I am primarily doing this to help you out." He looked at the half-demon gravely, "Now what do you know about having an orgasm without 'going all the way'?"

            "Um… I didn't get that far with Kikyo, we were waiting for our marriage…" Inu-Yasha was so glad it was night, otherwise the monk might have seen the beet red blush covering him from head to toe.

            "How far did you get?"

            "Uh…" Inu-Yasha replied in a low, guttural voice, "I used my tongue whenever we kissed, and um… I…. uh… feltherup." He said the last part quickly, hoping the monk wouldn't be able to decipher it.

            Miroku had a talent for hearing anything remotely sexual, however. "Under her clothes, or with them on?"

            "WHY THE FUCK IS THAT IMPORTANT?!"

            The monk raised his hands in a placating gesture, "I'm just trying to get a mental image, that's all." 

            "Yeah, well fucking stop, prick.  Get back to the subject at hand."

            Miroku paused for a moment.  If he didn't go about this delicately, the hanyou was libel to rip him to shreds out of embarrassment.  It was probably a little better to go an indirect route. "Inu-Yasha, let me tell you a little bit about my experience with the ladies."

            "You mean all one or two of them?" The hanyou spat sarcastically, crossing his arms and sinking further into his pouting frame of mind. 

            Simply grinning in response, Miroku answered lecherously "You'd be surprised."

            "So Kagome, how long have you been practicing your miko studies?"  Kaede asked the girl once she recovered her breathing and had a few glasses of water. 

            "About 8 years I guess… but I really have been tutoring myself a lot of the time."

She answered distractedly, her eyes searching for where the monk had taken Inu-Yasha.  

            Kaede raised an eyebrow in confusion. "But Inu-Yasha told me you lived in a shrine…" 

            Kagome laughed nervously, she never knew quite how to explain the situation without embarrassing her grandfather.  "I inherited my holy powers from my father's side of the family. My grandfather and my mother are very devout followers of the gods, but do not possess any spiritual power." 

            "I see…" 

Kagome crossed her fingers, hoping the miko would not ask about her father.  That was not a topic she wanted to discuss tonight.  She decided to change the subject before the miko even got the chance to ask.  "If you do not mind me asking, 

Kaede-sama-"

            "Kaede-baba. Kaede-sama is so formal." The old miko eyes crinkled into a smile though her expression remained mild. 

            "Kaede-baba then, would you mind telling me how you know Inu-Yasha?"

            Kaede paused, thinking for a moment.  How could she tell the girl without giving away information Inu-Yasha might not want to give her yet?  She would not assist the hanyou in lying to the girl if he tried, but after all, she wasn't one to put a damper on their wedding night.  "I taught an acquaintance of his for several years.  I got to know him when he used to visit the village I taught at.  We have a sort of strained friendship, if you will."

            Kagome frowned.  "Then why are you tutoring _me?" _

            Kaede laughed out loud as Kagome blushed from her unguarded question. "My dear girl, although my fondness for Inu-Yasha may have it limits, I am never opposed to taking on new pupils; particularly pupils who are both very promising and in need of assistance."        

Thinking this over, Kagome decided to ask her one of the other questions plaguing her.  "Kaede-baba, do you know who Kikyo is?"  

The old miko's expression turned pained.  She really did not want to lie to the girl, "I think you should ask Inu-Yasha that question.  But not tonight," She cautioned hastily, seeing the girls eyebrows knit together in concern, "Ask him in the morning.  I am sure this entire day has been exhausting enough for both of you." Kagome nodded solemnly; she was beginning to think her fears were truer than she realized.  Smiling kindly at the girl, Kaede continued, "But we can discuss all of this later.  The real question is where Miroku dragged your husband off to…" 

            "And then there was Koharu…." Miroku said nostalgicly as he licked his lips just thinking of the brunette, "Wow, the things she could do with her tongue-"

            "Miroku," Inu-Yasha groaned, already a pale shade of green from the monk's vivid and detailed descriptions, "You have been through 53 of your last encounters with your 'ladies', and besides trying to nauseate me to death, I can't find the fucking point."

            Miroku sighed.  Obviously Inu-Yasha was a bigger buffoon than he thought.  "What do all of my encounters have in common baka?"

            "Your lechery?" Inu-Yasha guessed with false gusto. 

            "No," Miroku gritted out in exasperation, "That everything I did with them got either them or myself off with out having actual sex!" Miroku hated to be crude, there were so many words at his disposal that he usually found it easy to be suggestive in a sophisticated fashion, but this idiot wasn't making it easy**.  I swear, for someone who claims to be traumatized because of witnessing the kinky sexual activities of demons from age five it really takes awhile for anything to sink in.  It probably would have been better if he had just sat on Inu-Yasha and hoped that he would absorb his knowledge through osmosis.  Miroku probably would have had more success that way.  **

            Inu-Yasha blinked, and then gagged in disgust.  "You mean you want me to do all of that with _her?!"  Suddenly being tied to the ceiling of his parents' bedroom didn't sound so bad. **No wait- he quivered as the image of his mother and father reappeared before him- ****I take that back. **_

            "Not all of them, just one or two.  I've given you over twenty options; you should be able to choose one which you don't find completely despicable." He shrugged, a smirk lighting his face as he got back on his feet. "Besides, you might find that you actually like doing them.  I know I did."

            "Thank you Miroku, it's nice to have the poster boy for lechery as a best friend." Inu-Yasha quipped sarcastically as he too stood up.

Miroku grinned. "Of course it is." Reaching into his robes, he started walking toward the castle.  "Oh, I wrote this dialogue of things people usually say during sex to help you two be convincing."  He pulled out a small rolled up scroll and shoved it in the hanyou's face.

 Blinking in response, Inu-Yasha took the scroll from Miroku as if it might bite him. "Exactly how much free time do you have on your hands, monk?"

Gasping in shock, Miroku put on his best hurt expression. "Frankly I am hurt that you would ask such a thing, Inu-Yasha.  You know I always keep my hands as busy as possible-"

"Until you get smacked." The half demon dog interjected snidely.

"Here I took the time to help you out, and this is the thanks I get?"

"Hai, hai, I am sure.  I'll bet you were just hoping I would let you watch." 

Miroku perked up hopefully.  "Now that you mention it, Inu-Yasha, it would make everything a lot easier if we made this a threesome."

            "WHAT?" The horrified hanyou nearly jumped five feet in the air at that comment. 

            "Well it would be easier for me to tutor both of you at the same time! I could give your bride on the spot instruction, both literally and figuratively." The monk explained quickly, "Despite the saying, there _are some situations in which three is not a crowd.  Not to mention beauty as fair as Kagome's should not go to waste-" SMACK. BANG. BOOM. **Maybe I pushed him just a little too far… Miroku reflected as he tried to get himself out of the human pretzel Inu-Yasha had turned him into.  **Yes, although he usually tries to beat me to a pulp, I usually don't end up in a tree…**      He craned his head as far as the leg wrapped around his neck would allow him to go to look at Inu-Yasha as he stalked away.  "You will help me get out of this tree in the morning, right, Inu-Yasha?"**_

            Inu-Yasha muttered curses as he fumed toward the castle, not turning back to look at the knot shaped monk stuck in the gnarled oak tree. 

            "I'll take that as a maybe." Miroku decided, before going back to trying to find a way to get his arm twisted out from his two legs without falling off the branch. 

            The rest of the wedding feast had gone quite well in Inu-Yasha's opinion.  No fatalities, and nearly no injuries.  Only one injury really, his two uncles had gotten into a fight and tried to punch each other, only to accidentally knock out one of the newer servants who had actually tried to intervene and stop the fight.  Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, it would get rid of any delusions he had about the nature of the Yamura household. 

            Inu-Yasha spent the rest of his time during the reception praying it wouldn't end, and trying to prolong it for as long as possible.  He gave speeches, made the servants serve drinks and deserts in slower, more tedious fashions, and even held sing alongs (he did not participate of coarse, merely starting them and then trying to run out of the room until they were over) to keep the party breathing.  In the end he was thwarted by Kagome's mother, who insisted Kagome leave the party to prepare for the wedding night.  And to think he had actually tolerated the woman.  Pouting and grumbling, Inu-Yasha watched the guests slowly trickle out the door.  He was nearly to the point of sobbing when the only ones still in the banquet hall were the servants.  

            Kagome, although dreading the night just as much, was in a state of numb shock.  As the maids took off the wedding garb in the changing room, she could only stand and stare straight ahead.  The maids felt as if they were dressing a doll, she was so expressionless.  What could she do? How could she do what was expected of her? 

Lifting her eyes drearily, Kagome looked at the girl the maids had finished dressing in the mirror.  It couldn't be her.  She was so beautiful; her white sleeping kimono hugging her curves, whispering against the lines of her body, while still leaving plenty to the imagination.  But she looked so tired; her eyes turned a dull grey from their former stormy brilliance, despair clouding over any light.  Her porcelain skin seemed to sag with her frown.  She wasn't ready, but as Inu-Yasha dragged her out of the changing rooms to retire from the night, she knew that the only one that fact mattered to was her.     

            She stepped into the bedroom nervously, eyeing her surroundings like a mouse trying to detect a possible trap.  Her stomach twisted itself into tight painful knots as she spotted the sweet-smelling candles lining the walls of the spacious room giving the dimness a warm, tangerine glow.  A futon covered in dark red silken sheets lay at the center of the far left wall, flower petals carefully strewn across each pillow.  Tucked against the sheets was a small white note.

            "What the fuck have they done?!"  Inu-Yasha cried from behind her.  She turned to find the hanyou's left eye twitching erratically. 

            "Huh?" Kagome responded distractedly, her mind trying to reconcile herself to the suggestively romantic ambiance.

            "My room! They fucking ruined my room! Those bastards!"  He ranted, storming over to the bed to examine, or rather rip to shreds, the white note. "When I find the son of a bitch…" He stopped as he read the paper, his eyes widening with shock. 

            _Dearest Inu-Yasha,_

_            I wanted your wedding night to be special, so I had the maids help me create a romantic atmosphere.  Don't worry, I will make sure they return your room to it's previous state, with the exception of the clothes lying on the floor.  Congratulations son!_

_                                                                                                Your loving Mom. _

            His features clouded over with guilt.  **Why? He was grown up now, he wasn't the boy who couldn't even dress himself without falling anymore.  Why did she still try to protect him, to care for him, when she was the one that needed to be taken care of?  Why did she worry about him, when she should worry for herself?  Why the hell had she thought he would want flower petals on his pillows anyway? Not to mention the candles were nearly overpowering his senses and making him dizzy.   **

            Grabbing his head in his clawed hands, he let out a growl of frustration.  Kagome jumped as the noise bounced off the walls of the room. "Aw, fuck it." He groaned before grabbing Kagome harshly and dragging her to the bathroom door on the right side of the room.

            "What are you-?" Kagome sputtered out fearfully.  **Is he expecting me to…?  And WHY in the BATHROOM?  She was nearly hyperventilating in her panicked state.**

            Shoving a hand over her mouth forcefully, he pushed her into the bathroom.  He didn't release her until he hauled her across the wooden floor to the farthest side of the room, throwing her into the tub. Ears swiveling in all directions in the darkness, he checked to make sure he had gotten out of hearing distance from his family.  Inu-Yasha hopped down to loom over her in the empty basin.  

            "Inu-" She tried again, quivering in anxiety. Why was he acting like this?

            He held a clawed finger to her lips, glaring fiercely at her to keep her silent.  "Look, I need to explain something very important to you, and then you can yap about how much you don't like it all you want, okay?" He looked at her demandingly, yet his dim amber eyes were almost pleading with her to say yes.  She nodded uncertainly, and he removed his hand from her to crouch grumpily in the tub, his hands trying to grip the timber beneath him. "What do you know about demons?"

            "Um…" Kagome cleared her throat as her hands fiddled with her silken kimono "They want to kill me for some reason, and an unusual amount of them smell like cabbage."

            As much as he wanted to ask her about just _where_ she had gotten that second scrap of information, he pressed forward. "So you know nothing about our senses?" She shook her head, still looking down.  "Demons have really strong senses of smell and hearing.  We can smell everything within forty feet; food, fear, or even arousal." He watched her eyes widen a little at that comment.  "Now don't get the wrong idea. There is no way in hell I am mating with you.  But we have to make it seems like we have consummated the marriage or else my relatives won't believe that I'm doing my best to make this thing work." He waited for her to respond, but she seemed to be a little too stunned at the moment.  Closing his eyes, he prepared himself for her reaction to his next comment. "So in order to make it believable and all, one of us needs to be aroused and… you know." 

            "WHAT?!" She screeched suddenly, backing away to the wall of the tub. If her stomach was twisted in knots before, it was now being tossed about by a tornado. She really didn't want to be having this conversation.

            "It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with me or anything!" The hanyou snapped; his entire form a bright red in the darkness.  He didn't know how he even had the ability to speak at this point in the conversation. 

            "No, you're just asking me to… to… I don't even know what you're asking me to do!" She wailed, closing herself into a tight ball, arms wrapped firmly against her knees.  Her blue-gray eyes looked at him accusingly.

            "Just um…." Oh gods, what he would give up to not have to say this out-loud. "Getmeoff." He muttered quickly, no longer to even look at the girl.  Where was something to kill when you needed it?

            "What does that mean?!" She had never felt more lost and uncomfortable in her life.  Making a break for it and trying to jump off the balcony to either death or freedom (she didn't really mind either alternative at this point) seemed like a really good idea about now. 

            "Umm, well you know…."

            "NO, I REALLY DON'T!" Getting angry with him was a much better option than rocking herself back and forth in a corner while she cried hysterically.

            "It's where you either-" What had he ever done in his life that made him deserve such torture?

            "Forget it. I don't want an explanation!"

            "Look, I am willing to let you sleep on the futon if you just go along with this." He tried to reason. 

            "Now you're trying to bribe me?!" Kagome exclaimed incredulously, finally looking at her husband. "And with the promise of sharing the futon?!  Gods, I have never heard of a lamer bribe in my life!"

            "Well what would it take, bitch?" He growled. Maybe he was being punished for all of the times he bopped Shippo on the head. **No, the runt deserved it**.  

            "Much more than that you baka!  I wouldn't even consider saying yes without the whole bed!  You can sleep on the floor!  And I would want unlimited access to all of your money, and my own personal servant!" **Let's think of some other things the guy would never give me, and then maybe he'll leave me alone.**  "Not to mention you would have to serve me breakfast in bed everyday, _served by you_, not the maids." She almost smiled with triumph. He would give up immediately, Inu-Yasha would never, ever, humble himself to such an extent.

            "Okay, but I won't serve you breakfast in bed tomorrow, I am probably going to be out all day looking for something to kill."  He really needed to find something to sink his claws into at this point.

            Kagome gaped at him in shock.  "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO AGREE TO THAT!" She shrieked in disbelief.  "HENTAI!"

            "I'm not a hentai!" He howled at her in frustration.  Perhaps this was a punishment for all the times he had made fun of Kikyo when one of the drunken village men would try to put the moves on her.  **But she wouldn't even hit them, or tell them to get lost!**   No, what it really came down to in his mind was that this was all some big cosmic joke.  Someone just got a real kick out of screwing with him. "But we need to make this look real!"

            "WHY?!" Kagome shouted at him wearily, still clutching her legs to her chest. She was so tired of this arranged marriage, and it was just beginning.  Joy.

            "Because otherwise I will get thrown out of my house!" Hadn't he made that perfectly clear when they first met?

            "I don't understand why that is such a big deal-"

            "Would _you like to be thrown out of __your home with no where to go?!"_

             "You don't even like these people! I don't know why you put up with them!" Kagome declared in exasperation, her voice getting hoarse from shouting at him.

            "THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!" He roared at her.

            "IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! Why don't you just leave this place?!" Kagome stood up over him to emphasize her point.  

            "BECAUSE THEY WOULD KILL MY MOTHER!" He barked at her, eyes raging fiercely at the shaking girl.  But the fire in his eyes went out as he looked down at his feet in bitterness.  Suddenly it was much harder to breathe normally.  

            Kagome stared at the boy, her jaw slacked open in surprise.  One minute he looked so angry and ravenous, and the next so vulnerable and young.  He seemed so depressed at the moment she found herself wanting to run up and hug him.  

            "My mother…" Inu-Yasha started in a low voice, "She has been putting up with  these demons all of my life.  She used to be strong, but they just kept pulling at her and pushing her…" He growled bitterly.   "Now she's just barely clinging to sanity. Ever since the nervous breakdown she had a few years back, we haven't been able to predict what will send her off into hysterics, where she will run to, or when she'll try to kill herself…" Voice catching in his throat, he tried to continue. "They're slowly killing her, and my bastard of a father doesn't see it. It's like he doesn't even care.  If I were to leave this house, I don't know what would happen to her.  Yeah, sure, my father wouldn't let them hurt her physically, but he can't stop the bastards from fucking with her head.  And even if she survives that, what will happen if he dies, or goes patrolling again?"

            Kagome gulped.  He was being honest with her, and she couldn't just turn away from him in response.  A wave of compassion filled her as she felt hot tears prick her eye lids.  She was crying, for Inu-Yasha, for his mother, and for what she was about to do. "Okay."  

            Inu-Yasha was too lost in his own thoughts to hear her hesitant whisper. "Huh?" He grunted, turning dull eyes on his wife.

            "I said," She responded gently, moving slowly to kneel in front of him. "Okay. I'll do it." Pausing for a moment, she thought over her wording. "Well, not _it.  But I will do what you need me to." _

            He couldn't help but stare at her for a moment. Shock, embarrassment, and amazement all danced across his sharp features.  In the end, however, he couldn't tell her he was grateful, instead silently praying she would somehow see it in his eyes. "So what are we waiting for bitch?" 

            Rolling her eyes, she fixed him with a cold stare, her hands plastered in tight fists against her hips. "But Inu-Yasha, if I say stop, you have to stop." 

            Inu-Yasha's eyes suddenly went wide, remembering an important detail. "Oh, Kagome, one more thing." 

            Stiffening, she answered him uncertainly. "Yes?" 

            "When we're back in the bedroom, we have to sound like we're…" The blush crept back to his cheeks. "You know."

            Kagome's features scrunched up in confusion. "Why?" 

            "Well, I told you that demons can hear really well.  All of my relatives will be able to here us loud and clear; at least on this floor anyway."

            **Figures.  She didn't like this newest development one bit. Rubbing her temples she fought off the fifth migraine of the day.  "So what are we supposed to say?"**

            Inu-Yasha shrugged as he looked in the sleeves of his kimono, trying to find the scroll Miroku had given him. "Hell if I know.  But luckily for us," He said sarcastically producing the scroll from his right sleeve, "The number one hentai in the land, Miroku, gave us a sort of script of things people say during… you know." 

            Kagome raised an eyebrow. "The monk? Aren't monks supposed to be holy?"

            "Tell that to Miroku." Inu-Yasha grumbled. "Any way, I figure we can say stuff from here and then mouth whatever we really want to say."

            "Umm…" Kagome had a feeling this was going to go terribly wrong. "Okay, but you still have to stop if I say so."

            "Fine." Inu-Yasha grumbled getting up and helping Kagome out of the tub. 

They walked silently towards the bedroom, neither having the courage to even look at each other.   Kagome's heart was pounding painfully in her chest as she moved stiffly into the room.  Finally looking at Inu-Yasha, she licked her lips tentatively.  She wanted to say something, anything to him, but found her mouth too dry to utter a single word.

Inu-Yasha fidgeted as he stopped in front of the futon. Nervous energy filled the air as both just stood there, waiting for the other to make their move.   Kagome finally spoke up tentively, "Inu-Yasha-", but he didn't let more than that escape her before he forcefully sealed his lips to hers.  

She gasped in surprise as he pressed her to him stonily.  Rigidly holding her, he continued to kiss her prone form, mechanically rubbing his callused hands up and down her arms.  For all her imaginings of how glorious her first kiss would be, this was a sore disappointment.  His dry lips were rough and demanding, but drained of passion.  He was just going through the motions of being a lover, without truly playing the part.  She privately wallowed in despair while trying to move her lips in some kind of rhythm with his.

Moving his hands jerkily to rest on her back, he ignored the growing lump in his stomach.  Inu-Yasha thought his anxiety would vanish once they started, but the kiss had only served to amplify it.  Trying to shove the unease further back in his mind, he pushed both of them to fall on the futon, carefully steadying himself so he wouldn't fall on the girl.

But he forgot to steady Kagome, who fell against the futon with a hard thud, banging her head.  Grimacing, she rubbed her sore skull. "Itai…" She moaned.  

He quickly pressed his lips to hers again, squelching the obscenities rising in her throat.  Leaning over her, knees placed firmly against either side of her hips, his lips moved down her chin to the underside of her jaw.  Although he could tell she was still in pain because of the bruise she had just received, he was desperate to get through this horrifying situation as quickly as demonly possible.  

Shining white hair fell on Kagome's neck and shoulders, tickling her skin.  She was trying to be as still as possible, but the feathery hair caressing her sensitive skin was too much to bear.  Kagome giggled as Inu-Yasha's mouth placed further kisses down her throat.

Inu-Yasha looked up, flushed with annoyance and awkward embarrassment.   'Why aren't you taking this seriously?' He mouthed, careful not to let any sound escape his lips. 

Looking up sheepishly, Kagome protested silently, 'I am! But you're tickling me with your hair!' Pouting at her, he crossed his arms sourly, apparently no longer aware of the fact that he was still straddling her.  Rolling her eyes at his childish behavior, she slid her legs from underneath his so she was sitting cross-legged in front of him.  She reached in front of him to pick up the scroll that the monk had so magnanimously provided. 'Let's just try this again, shall we? And maybe we can use this thing this time.' Kagome tried to smile cheerfully, but it came out as more of a pained grimace than anything else.  

Inu-Yasha nodded faintly, grabbing the scroll from her to look at the first lines.  "Oh baby," he repeated the written words woodenly, "Come to big daddy…" The last words were followed by choking sounds coming out of Inu-Yasha's throat. 

"Oh, Inu-Yasha!" Kagome read the next lines, trying to decide if she wanted to laugh or throw up, "I need to be in your arms! Make love to me!" She said in an unsteady monotonous voice.  Inu-Yasha was still choking, so Kagome skipped his next line.  "Yes, Inu-Yasha yes.  Keep going. Faster." 

Finally getting over his coughing fit, he leaned over to look at his next line.  "Oh, Kagome, will you bear my child?" **It figures the prick would put that in here.   **

"Yes, Inu-Yasha," Kagome answered dully, leaning over so that both of them could look at the scroll at the same time. "You may not be nearly as handsome or debonair as that holy monk Miroku, but I will gladly bear you twenty children." **_Twenty?_  **

"Oh, Kagome, you have made me the happiest hanyou on earth." Inu-Yasha declared with all of the enthusiasm of a zombie.  Could this get any cornier? "I love you, my mate."   

Kagome raised a curious eyebrow. 'Is it mandatory that people declare their love at sometime during…' She still couldn't bring herself to mouth the word, '_it_?'.  

Shrugging, Inu-Yasha answered. 'Don't think so.' 

Sighing, Kagome went back to reading the script. "Oh  Inu-Yasha! I never imagined you would be so big…" She looked at her tomato red husband in confusion. 'What does he mean by big?' She asked silently, studying him with large, innocent eyes.  

Even Inu-Yasha's ears were red with embarrassment. He grabbed the scroll from her and tossed it off the futon. 'We're not using that.' He stated sharply, looking away from her questioning blue-gray orbs.  Before she could ask about his reaction, he once again leaned over kissed her vigorously, if severely. 

**He really has to stop surprising me like that, she grumbled in her head. She tried to slow down the kiss as his hands clamped around her shoulders.  Trying to maintain calm, she wrapped her arms around his waist in response, pulling them into a closer, more comfortable position.  ****This is okay, I guess…  She wasn't really feeling much, but at least it wasn't quite as excruciating as it had started out.  Plus he seemed to be slowing down the kiss, allowing her to relax against his lips and get used to the feel of him.  **

Everything seemed to be going as okay as it probably ever would for Inu-Yasha.  He still wanted this to be done with already, however.  Moving his hand shakily from her shoulders, he let them trail down to her breasts.  He had done this a few times with Kikyo, and she always seemed to like it well enough, so he thought Kagome probably would to. His rough hands fumblingly massaged her breasts, tracing circles along their curves through her clothing.  

Kagome went rigid; suddenly the calm she was so close to achieving was ripped to shreds.   She awkwardly continued to kiss him, hoping he would stop, or at least touch her more gently.  Why couldn't he go a little more slowly?  As his fingers began to pinch and rub faster at her nipple, Kagome knew couldn't take anymore.   

"Stop!"  She cried, wrenching herself from his arms.  This was all so fast, so confusing.  She knew they had to do this, but it was so awkward, and nothing like her mother described it.  Heck, she didn't even know if he felt anything for her.  Backing away to lean against the wall, her trembling hands held her head in frustration.  Maybe there was a way to find out. "Why did you have him change the words?"

Inu-Yasha sighed, still panting to regain the oxygen he had been deprived of during their last kiss.  **Why is the bitch bringing this up now?** "What?" Why did the girl always have to be so confusing? One minute she was responding and the next she was asking questions.  Women were always so flippant and irrational.  

Her eyes still rested on her feet. "Why did you have Miroku change the words of the vows at the wedding ceremony?" She repeated quietly, her cheeks stained red from blushing.  

Inu-Yasha sputtered, looking at her in shock**. She knew it was me.  **He was sort of hoping she wouldn't realize it was he who had made sure the words were changed. "Why do you want to know?" 

"Because… I want to know." She replied hesitantly, her bangs shading her anxiety in her eyes.  **I want to know if you care, or if this is all business to you.  I want to know if your kiss is so rough and unfeeling because you're nervous or because you hate the idea of kissing me.  I want to know if I am spending the next six months with a man that will privately sigh in disgust every time he touches me.  I want to know if I am the only one who wants this to be more than just a bargain.**

Rubbing the back of his neck, Inu-Yasha squirmed in the tension her question had charged the air with.  Blushing slightly, he decided to tell her the truth. "Because I knew you would be uncomfortable with the words 'to death do you part'.  I figured you were one of those do-good types that nearly break down crying every time you're forced to lie.  You'd probably spontaneously combust out of guilt if you had to lie in a shrine of all places."

"So you wanted to help me?" Inu-Yasha didn't respond. **But he didn't say no**, Kagome reminded herself, **and that was almost sweet of him**.   Finally looking over at the hanyou, she came to her next conclusion.  If she wanted him to slow down, then maybe she ought to start off setting the pace.  He had had three tries, now it was her turn. 

Slowly inching her way toward him, she whispered "Look, I don't know about you, but I knew nothing about this until this morning.  So I'm a bit uncomfortable." **That was the understatement of the year**.   He looked at her wordlessly, waiting for her to finish. As she reached him she slid her arms around his waist, closing the distance between them so their noses were nearly touching. "I am willing to learn with you, but only if you don't rush me." 

He looked her over before dropping his eyes in thought. 'Okay,' He mouthed, looking into her eyes. 

Kagome blushed at their proximity, but once again locked the part of her screaming in protest inside her mental closet.  Gradually closing the distance between their lips, she kissed him gently, moving her mouth languidly against his.  He responded in kind, being careful to follow her lead.  Kagome felt a small electric tingle run up her spine at the way his lips carefully caressed hers.   Closing her eyes, she began to ease into the kiss further.

Moving his hands to once again rest on her back, he waited for her to completely relax against him.  Now that he was actually concentrating on the kiss, and not just getting the whole event over with, he found himself thinking her lips tasted like raspberries.  His tongue darted out of his mouth to lick her lips, seeking both entrance and a better taste.  Kagome shivered against him in response. Opening her eyes, she moved away from him slightly to look at his face questioningly.  He smirked slightly, 'The next time I do that, Kagome, open your mouth.' Kagome arched an eyebrow at him, to which he just sighed in exasperation. 'Just do it.'  

Shrugging, she let him resume kissing her.  Licking her lips again, his tongue slipped into her mouth when she obediently opened it.  He nearly grinned against her lips at the shocked gasp that escaped her at the sensation of his tongue massaging hers.  Her gasp turned into a moan as his tongue stroked hers more insistently.  All at once she felt herself wanting to respond to him further, much further.  Still a little uneasy about having no clue what she was doing, Kagome hesitantly moved her tongue against his.  

Taking that as his cue, he deepened the kiss, exploring all of her mouth.  Kissing Kagome was such a different experience that it was almost like kissing someone for the first time.  At the start their kiss as tentative and gentle, but now he could think of almost nothing except for the consuming desire for more.  It had been so long since Kikyo, since anyone really, had touched him with any sort of tenderness.  And the girl's gentle, innocent kisses were doing something to him he had thought no one but the long lost miko could.  Not that the girl's kiss was better than Kikyo's, it was just different.  He never felt like he was drowning in the taste of raspberries with Kikyo.  

            Breaking the kiss momentarily, he moved them to the top of the futon.  He tried to ease Kagome to lie on her back but she objected.  Raising an eyebrow, Inu-Yasha smirked "So the little miko wants to be on top, eh?"

            Blushing fiercely, Kagome narrowed her eyes at him. "Urasai.  It's just that your hair will tickle me again otherwise, and we will once again be at square one." She glared menacingly at his teasing grin while they changed their positions.  While she was still muttering phrases about "arrogant bastard hanyous" he reached up and pulled her down to him, kissing her ardently. Kagome marveled as he kissed her; when had they become so comfortable with each other?  Where had the awkward nervousness that filled her stomach gone? 

            His lips left hers to travel down her jaw, teasing her skin with the tingling sensation of his rough tongue.  She arched against him instinctively as his ministrations reached her neck, suddenly breathless.  Why had it gotten so hot? Was this normal? Closing her eyes she struggled to breathe deeply, feeling as if the whole room was somehow on fire.  

She grabbed at his hair, only to stumble onto the dog ears situated at the top of his head.  He went rigid as her fingers delicately played with the furry triangles, before letting out a guttural groan of pleasure.  He sucked at her neck harder, lapping at her skin before his fangs clamping down lightly, just barely breaking the skin. Kagome hissed in pain, but was soon panting as he gently kissed and licked the blood away.   

With the metallic taste of her blood still lingering in his senses, he lifted her away from him a bit to plant open mouth kisses on her collar bone, careful not to stumble upon the places he had discovered she was ticklish.  A primal sort of masculine pride left him as she whimpered at his touch, eyes firmly shut and mouth slightly open in pleasure.  He ran his fangs lightly over her collarbone, smirking as she moaned louder.  

Kagome's hands left his ears to push down on the futon, trying to maintain her shaky balance above the hanyou.  Hands trembling slightly from both the desire and the residue of his nervousness,  Inu-Yasha cautiously pushed her sleeping kimono over to reveal her chest more fully.  His eyes went up to see if Kagome minded only to find her eyes still clamped shut, her breathing coming out in ragged pants.  Although it had sickened him to no end to passively sit and listen to Miroku's little rant about his sexual escapades, he had to admit to picking up a few key tidbits, such as the one he was about to try. Ever so slowly, he tentative kissed her nipple.  A strangled moan arose in her throat as his tongue made hesitant circles around her breast.   

A hazy thought popped into her head, suggesting that she stop him, or at least ask him what he was doing.  That thought was overridden, however, by the overwhelming desire to let him do more.  She had no idea what he was doing, but it felt so _good. _

Whimpering in ecstasy, her hips moved with a mind of their own, rhythmically grinding against his.  Her unconscious movements drove Inu-Yasha to his limits, causing him to growl as he attacked her breast with new vigor, alternating sucking and biting.  Desperate to keep her body moving with his, his arms grabbed at her lower back, thrusting them closer together. 

Hips shoved against his, Kagome felt something… odd.   It rubbed pleasantly against her lower abdomen, but it was seemingly out of place against the tightly wound muscles she felt through his hakama.  What was that bulge in Inu-Yasha's pants?  She tried to ignore it as his lips left the one breast to lavish attention on the other.  His hand fondled the neglected breast, sending waves of electricity jolting through her body.  But her groin kept encountering the stiffness beneath his clothing.   Was it fruit, or a rock maybe?  Experimentally pressing more forcefully against it,  Kagome was intrigued when he nearly purred in response.  **He wouldn't have had that reaction if it were a rock**.  Something her mother had said to her suddenly began to push to the forefront of her mind, nagging her until it was nearly impossible to disregard.   As much as a part of her was screaming for her not to let the hanyou stop his pleasurable torture of her breasts, a growing part of her wanted to know just _what that was.  _

She opened her eyes, trying to balance herself with one hand as her other hand hesitantly slid beneath the fabric of his pants to touch whatever it was.    Inu-Yasha groaned loudly as he felt her fingers lightly press against his manhood.  Startled by his response, she tried to remove her hand only to feel his clamp it in place.  "Do that again." He panted, his eyes half-lidded as he looked at her confused face.  Rolling his eyes as she stared at him dumbly, he hastily began the process of removing his lower clothing.  She backed away a bit, having no idea what exactly she had done in the first place.  Pants now low enough to fully expose himself to her, he took her shaky hand and once more upon him.   He moved her hand up and down his erection a few times in slow, pumping motions. "Like this."   

Following his lead, she cautiously caressed him, watching his face the entire time. Losing himself in the sensation of her touch, his hand left hers to claw at the sheets, twisting them in his fist.  He tried to fight for the control to answer her when she asked if she was doing okay, but could only lean up to claim her mouth again in response.  His lips trailed down to her pale neck, sucking at the place he had bitten her before.  "Kagome…" He moaned, feeling himself go over the edge.  

"I'm sorry!" Kagome shrieked, shrinking away from the boy.  Obviously she had done something wrong judging from the gooey liquid covering her hand. 

Still in a haze, Inu-Yasha lay sprawled out on the futon, heaving in and out.  Looking at her lazily, he tried to answer her, "Wha…?" 

"I didn't mean to do it wrong."  She whispered sheepishly, turning her reddened face away from him. 

He stared at her for a few moments, disbelieving she could be that ignorant as to what had just occurred.  Smirking in amusement at her innocence, he replied, "Kagome, that's what is supposed to happen."  

"Oh." She said as she watched him pull his pants back up.  Turning in disgust she began to wipe the milky substance off her hand, gagging as it stained the sheets.  "In that case," She threw the parts of the sheet which were stained in his direction. "Those are _your side of the sheets."   _

Inu-Yasha arched a thick snowy eyebrow at the girl who was now spitting on her hand in an attempt to clean it.  "I thought I was sleeping on the floor."

"Well, it would be childish of me to make you do that.  After all, you are my husband for the next six months." Dragging the clean side of the sheets with her, she laid down a ways from Inu-Yasha; slightly frowning that the heat between her thighs had yet to disperse.  

Inu-Yasha's golden eyes gleamed hopefully as she snuggled into her pillow. "So does this mean you would be mature enough not to make me serve you breakfast in bed, wench?" He took her frosty glare to mean no.  Grumbling to himself, he looked over the side of the futon to see Miroku's discarded scroll unraveled on the floor.  Idly picking it up, he read over the last line.  'Was it good for you too?' He honestly couldn't think of an answer.  Did it change anything between them?  He knew she wanted to be friends with him, but this was such a strange position for friends to be in.  So what did that make her exactly?   While he couldn't find the response to any of the questions his brain threw at him, he did know one thing: she had earned his trust tonight.  She had gone along his ploy against her better judgment, simply to help him out.  Inu-Yasha couldn't remember the last time someone had done something like that for him.  

"Kagome-" He whispered, only to find her sound asleep.   Smiling to himself as he took in the innocence of the way her hands pillowed her face, he leaned in to kiss her lightly on the forehead.  She stirred slightly, but stayed unconscious as the hanyou drifted back to his side of the futon.  "Night wench."  He said softly, closing his eyes as well.      

_            The Funeral March has now stopped, leaving silence in its place.  Sango is impatiently tapping her foot as she watches Miroku stop typing, her crash helmet still in place.  Thoroughly out of breath, Miroku collapses back into the comfortable chair owned by Masterpiece Theater._

_Sango: Well, that took you long enough._

_Miroku: (Indignantly raises his chin) You can't rush genius. _

_Sango: (Snorts) Sure… But actually, that could have been worse._

_Miroku: (Mournfully) I KNOW! Do you know how many of my ideas her little stack of rules ruined?! I had mud wrestling, whips, chains, (continues listing off various activities)_

_Sango: (Ignores him so as to keep from getting nauseous) Anyhoo, sorry the chapter took SO long to get out.  If you guys didn't like it, or think it should be changed, please tell Rambling Coffee Addict and she will do so.  She wanted to cut the chapter into, but figured you guys should have it all in one piece. _

_Miroku:(Still listing) And there was orgies-_

_Sango: (Stares flatly) You know, you are really the most kinky person I've ever met._

_Miroku:(Smiles deviously) Why thank you, dearest Sango. (Turns to the readers) Well, please review my chapter, dear readers; I did work especially hard on it. (His grin becomes wider and more seductive) And tell her to let me write more of the citrus she has in any of the chapters!   _


	7. The First Day of Wedded Bliss

_The trumpets are blaring much more cheerfully than usual on the Masterpiece Theater set.  Although Miroku and Sango are seated in their comfortable leather chairs, the scene behind them has been changed to a field of flowers.  Earl the Lawyer is frolicking through the field strewing flowers this way and that in a flowing Greek tunic.  _

_Miroku__: (Smiles brightly) Long time no see or feel readers! I have missed you so!_

_Sango__: (Muttering bitterly under her breath) That's just because a majority of them want you to write all of the future lemons._

_Miroku__: (Throws a wide eyed, innocent expression in the demon slayer's direction) What was that Sango?  _

_Sango__: You heard me, houshi-sama._

_Miroku__: (Pouting) How can you be so disrespectful to a monk?_

_Sango__: (Dryly) Easily.  _

_Miroku__: (Turning back to the readers) Any ways, as you can guess, Ramber is in a particularly good mood because of all the reviews she got for the last chapter._

_Earl the Lawyer: (Prances in front of Miroku and Sango, throwing flowers on both of them before returning to the field behind them again)_

_Sango__: So she just wanted to say thanks to everyone, by having Earl-san skip around like an idiot. (Grumbles under her breath) I swear, the things she makes that man do… (Thunder strikes in the distance)_

_Miroku__: Don't test her good mood, Sango.  Besides, Earl is happy so long as he doesn't get struck with lightning again._

_Earl the Lawyer: (Frolics in front of the two) Yep, as long as she doesn't char me again she can dress me up as a lobster and make me do the Macarena. (Tries to look dignified in his tunic and laurel wreath) The incredibly lovely, magnanimous, and brilliant Rambler decided to answer a few questions and make a few comments in regards to some of the reviews she received, since the review section didn't post her comments when she tried.  First of all, she wants to thank The Real Rosie Gamgee for her MAGNIFICANT suggestion, it was most hopeful.  You will know what I am talking about Rosie when you see the end of this chapter.  She also wants to promise her that although there will be future citrus, it is all necessary to the plot, will be tastefully done, and she will be warned about it before hand.  Secondly, she wants to clear something up for Ithilwen.  You have to remember that MIROKU wrote the last chapter.  Although she does not know how experienced he is she is guessing he exaggerated a LOT._

_Miroku__: (Indignant) I'll have you know that-_

_Earl the Lawyer and Sango: (Thunder strikes in the distance) WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! _

_Earl the Lawyer: Also Ithilwen, this chapter should answer your question about the drunk being random or not.  As for __Nassau__'s comment about the lack of sweetness in the citrus in the last scene, she wanted to say that although she too wanted it to be sweeter; she felt it had to be awkward given the nature of their relationship at this point.  Hopefully there will be more waff in future chapters. Finally, to Leina and SimplyTurquoise, yes, Kagome is extraordinarily sheltered because of the age she lives in.  People did not discuss these matters openly at all, most girls of the upper classes did not find out about sex until their wedding day.  Kagome would definitely be especially sheltered because she lives in a shrine, where such matters are definitely not discussed.  (Takes a deep breath) Okay, now on to the disclaimer.  (Takes another deep breath) SHE DOESN'T OWN INU-YASHA, SO DON'T SUE OR SHE WILL CRY AND SCREAM AND MAKE EVERYONE AROUND HER MISERABLE! Not to mention that she also doesn't have any money, so the only thing you could get is her inhaler and her bag of cheesy puffs.  And I must warn you, they're like three months old.   _

_Miroku__: (Shakes his head) She is such a packrat… Any way, I hope you enjoy the chapter, dear readers! _

**Chapter 6**

_The First Day of Wedded Bliss_

The sun sent its beams into the shrine like a flood light, demanding all living creatures wake and greet it.  As the blinding rays reached the heavy lids of the lone man in the shrine, he painfully rolled over, determined not to give in.  After a few minutes of struggling, the man finally gave into daylight's insistence, weakly opening his blue gray eyes to stare at his surroundings.  

The fact he was in a shrine didn't surprise him, he could have woke up on a volcano and not been fazed.  It was one of the main consequences of his beloved sake, as well as the headaches.  Grabbing his head in his callused and filthy hands, he attempted to begin the arduous process of standing up.  Nature seemed to mock his efforts, the twittering of birds and calls of animals pounded loudly in his ears.  Once his legs finally agreed to support him, he moved to the doorway, hoping to find somewhere to eat.  From the looks of where he had been sleeping, his last meal was no longer lining his stomach.  

After breakfast, he would find his way back to town; back to doing the only thing he could to numb the pain.  Find more sake and drown in it.   He didn't deserve anything else anyway, not after what he had done.   After his failure, he didn't deserve to return home.  It was better his family did not endure the dishonor he had caused them. He didn't really deserve the sake, but a man had to comfort himself somehow.   

The light exploded around him as he heaved the door open, and he flinched before stumbling into it.   Bobbing back and forth as if trapped an ocean current, he made his way down the stone path way.   He breathed a sigh of relief as trees shaded him from the glaring sun.   

"Excuse me, sir!" A deep voice bellowed out of no where, causing the man to jump in shock.  Only jumping was a little to much for legs which had only feebly agreed to walk.  The man found himself in an aching heap on the pathway, staring up at a dark shadow in the tree above him.  "Are you okay, sir?" The shadow asked tentatively. 

The man winced in response. "Too loud…" He whispered, holding his creased head in his hands.

"What was that?" 

"I said you're too loud!" He grimaced as his own voice throbbed in his head.

"Ah…" The shadow sighed knowingly, "You're Inu-Yasha's best man." There was a twinkle of humor in the stranger's voice that the man found he didn't like.  "Allow me to introduce myself," The stranger spoke in a mercifully quieter voice, "I am Miroku, a monk from around these parts."

Giving the shadow a pained smile, the man answered back, "Hiko.  I'm a former monk who isn't from these parts." 

The monk in the tree tried to lean down a little bit to get a better look at the older man.  "Well Hiko, it certainly is a pleasure to meet you at this particular moment." 

Hiko raised a thick black eyebrow.  "It is?" He said, making himself a little more comfortable in his fallen position.  

"Yes, for you see, I feel we can both do each other a favor." The monk smiled pleasantly as Hiko realized the man was in a contorted knot.  "Now if you could just help me out of this tree…"

"Arise and shine!" A high voice squeaked cheerfully from the corner of the bedroom.  Kagome groaned in response, grabbing more of the sheets to wrap herself in a cocoon free on sunlight and sound.  Nestling into her pillow, she tiredly brought the sheets up to rest against her cheek, only to meet with something crusted on the sheets.  It was still rather sticky…

            "GAHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome screeched, jumping out of the futon in one frantic motion.   

            The tiny figure in the corner leaped as well, clutching his wildly beating heart in his hand.   "Jeez! Don't DO that!" 

            Kagome turned toward the figure, barely able to make out the figure in the darkness.   It was small, and appeared to be furry, with some sort of poofy tail.  "A talking squirrel?!" Kagome asked herself aloud as she moved toward the diminutive creature.

            "Squirrel?!" The creature sniffed indignantly, "Squirrel?! I am a _kitsune__, ma'am, not a stupid rodent." He puffed proudly, showing off his childish chest, "I am a big, strong, cunning, powerful-"_

            "Little fox! _How cute!" She squealed with delight as she picked up the red-haired kitsune child, cooing as she stroked puffy auburn tail and tweaked the big blue bow in his hair. _

            The child sweat dropped. Why did human women always have this reaction to him? No matter what Miroku said about it one day getting him girls, he still found it emasculating to have women fondling him as if he were a baby bird.  He was a demon for gods' sake! Sure he was a kid, but he could still do some kind of damage to her.  Not that he would, since she was his master's wife, but the point was that he could.  

Rolling his eyes, he suddenly realized something he hadn't quite looked at before.   The child struggled to find the right words as he went beat red, unable to take his eyes off the girl's chest. "Um… uh… ma'am…"

Sensing the kitsune's fidgeting discomfort, she looked down to find his large blue gaze glued to the top of her sleeping kimono, which was hanging wide open.  With a startled screech she dropped the fox child, covering herself as she blushed furiously. "Gomen ne."  She murmured, kneeling before the boy.

            The kitsune tried to straighten a little in an effort to look more solemn and masculine. "It is okay ma'am." He said with a dignified air in spite of his high pitched voice.

            "Please, call me Kagome." She spoke warmly, as she took in her surroundings. Her heart unexpectedly dropped when she realized Inu-Yasha wasn't there.  **What did I expect? Closing her eyes briefly, she forced herself to smile cheerfully at the fox child. "Are you a family member of Inu-Yasha's?" She didn't want to assume he was a servant.  **

            "Family member?!" He gagged in disbelief, sickened by the thought. "How could you think I'm related to these guys?  They're dog demons."  

            Kagome once again flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I really only know what my grandfather taught me about demons." 

            "What did he tell you?" The child asked curiously, sky blue eyes examining her face.

            Looking away uncertainly she answered in an almost inaudible voice "That they smell like cabbage." 

            The child scrunched up his face in confusion. "What?!"

            "Never mind." Kagome sighed heavily, dropping her head wearily.  "So then you are a servant of the Yamuras, I take it?"

            "Yep.  I am Inu-Yasha's head servant, Shippo." The boy said proudly.

            Kagome smiled at his pride, "You're the head servant? Wow, you must be really good to be promoted to such a position at such a young age."

            "I am."  Shippo replied confidently, puffing up a little further in his cerulean  haori and vest.  

            "So, head servant Shippo-chan," She could tell he loved the title, "Can you tell me where my _dear_ Inu-Yasha went?" Maybe she said that a little too acidly.  

            "The jerk went hunting.  He said something about needing to kill something, or at least mangle a few trees." Shippo tsked a little as shook his head in disapproval, "The baka is always so violent." 

            Kagome couldn't help but smile, **I**_ **couldn't agree with you more.**  "I take it you don't approve of your master's life style?" Shippo ducked his head timidly, realizing just who he had spoken to.  To his surprise she grinned brightly at him, "Shippo-chan, I have the feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." He smiled back at her meekly as she stood up.  "So, did the bastard say anything about breakfast before he went out to wreak havoc on the world?"_

            The kitsune nodded eagerly in response. "Yeah, he said you could either have breakfast in the room or down in the engawa.  He didn't want you eating in the dining room."

            Frowning a little, Kagome asked "Why didn't he want me to eat there?" 

            "Probably to keep you away from Sesshomaru."  

            "His brother?"

            "Yep.  He's even more of a creep than Inu-Yasha is."   Shippo stated simply. "So where do you want to eat?" 

            "Well," She said thoughtfully, "I do need to explore more of this house if I am going to be living here, don't I?  So I think I shall eat breakfast in the engawa." 

            Shippo nodded before heading to the sliding door. "I will lead you to the engawa after you change." Seeing Kagome's look of puzzlement, he answered her unspoken question. "The jerk arranged with your mother to have all of your clothes put in the closet next to the bathing room.  The rest of your things are in the chest to the right of the futon." 

            Kagome smiled gratefully as she walked in the direction of the closet, "Origato, head servant Shippo-chan." 

            He beamed at her as left the room. "No problem, Kagome!" 

            Inu-Yasha sighed as he plopped down into a comfortable position on a branch of the large tree over looking a quiet pond.  The tree's long branches wound this way and that, as if it couldn't make up its mind which way it wanted to reach.   He lazily traced the reflection of their curves in the air with a single claw.  

            He really had wanted to kill something.  At least he had thought so last night.  Resolutely sticking to his plan, he had set out at dawn to find something to wrench apart with his bare claws.  And yet here he was, lying on his side in a tree, without any intention of moving for the rest of the day.

            Last night left him completely befuddled, but this morning left him even more so.  He had awakened a bit before the sun peaked over the horizon, when the world was just light enough to make out everything in the dimness.  Some of the candles had still been burning in the room, making the soft light of the new day even stronger.  Turning over, he had seen her lying there peacefully. Her small curvy lips were shaped into an "o", and a little droplet of drool gleamed down her cheek.  Chuckling silently to himself, he had tentatively wiped of the droplet with his thumb.  But something hadn't let his thumb leave her face.  Instead the digit traced the rosy line of her lips, as if it had a mind of its own.  He found he was somehow transfixed by her deep breaths, and the faint gurgling sounds in the back of her throat.  There was something melodic about it.   

            And then it hit him, like a jolt of lightning through his body.  At this moment, he wanted her.  Not because they had to, not because duty, listening relatives or kooky fathers who felt their sons had to married.  He just wanted her.  So he immediately got up and left the room.  It had been the most logical thing to do in Inu-Yasha's opinion, and he didn't regret it.  

No, he wasn't supposed to be aroused by her; he wasn't supposed to feel anything for her.  They had a deal, and he was going to stick to it.  They would part after six months, and then he would be free to find Kikyo. Kikyo.  He was only supposed to want Kikyo.  But at that moment, when he was lying there with Kagome he had wanted nothing more than to crush her lips with his.   

Inu-Yasha suddenly became aware that the hand which had been tracing the branches of the tree was curled into a tight fist.  The fist trembled as his clawed fingers tried to bury further into his rough palm.  Blood seeped through his fist to fall to the grass below him.  **It won't happen again, he vowed to himself.  ****Kagome is just a… friend…. Or a friendish thing.  Okay, so he didn't know what she was.  But he knew what he wouldn't let her become.  **

            Apparently stone walls were thinner than Kagome thought.  They were rare in Japan, and much thicker than the usual wood that held up most of the war lords' homes.  And yet, she could hear voices whispering all around her, even though she walked down the hallway all alone with Shippo.

            "Another human bitch…" Kagome turned in the direction of the malicious voice, but couldn't find its owner. "It would figure that bastard son of Taisho's would pick one." 

            Her head swiftly turned in the direction of another muted whisper "What do you expect? He can't do any better than a miko. And to think she isn't even a well-trained one."

Wincing at the jab, Kagome forced herself to square her shoulders and hold her head up high.   Small shivers raced up and down her spine as she examined the shadows on the wooden floor, trying to ascertain if she and the child were really the only ones in the corridor.   She wasn't really surprised her new in-laws were not ready and waiting to welcome her into their home with open arms.   They were youkai , and she was a miko, destined to a life of fighting  demons.  Either they or she would have died if they had crossed paths under normal circumstances.  No, what she really didn't understand was why her new demon family was going to all the trouble of hiding themselves from her (not that she was overly anxious to be introduced to all of them).   The only reason she could guess for their masking their presence was they were trying to let her know they were there, and wouldn't be making her stay comfortable, without actually confronting her.  **If that's the case, there's no way I am letting this bunch intimidate me**.   

"So Shippo, what's on the menu for breakfast?"  She gritted her teeth into some semblance of a smile. 

Shippo tilted his head slightly, as he continued to walk down the hallway.  "Um… miso soup, rice, and fresh fish… I think." 

"Ah, that's right…" Something among the shadows chuckled insidiously, "It is about my breakfast time as well! Are you sure I can't eat the little miko?"  Kagome had to fight the urge to freeze in her tracks.

"No, Lord Taisho won't allow it.  Besides, she's too scrawny any way.  Look at the girl, she barely has any breasts!"

Kagome felt herself go scarlet; that comment had really stung.  **On to the next topic of conversation…** "Head servant Shippo-chan, how much further to the engawa?" She asked with forced cheer. 

            "Don't worry, just a little further, Kagome." The kitsune reassured her in a hushed voice, well aware of the cutting remarks murmured through the hallway.  

            Finally Shippo entered the engawa, a wooden veranda overlooking a serene garden filled with red, white, and yellow flowers.   Contrasting with the tranquility the garden offered were the tapestries and other artwork lining the three walls, depicting large dogs on a hunt, chasing and eating their captured prey.  Despite her uneasiness with such violent decorations, Kagome had to admit anything was better than the voices she just left.  Closing her eyes, she sighed in relief as she breathed in the fresh air, grateful to be free of the stifling corridors of the inside of the castle.  

            "Kagome-sama!" A deep voice chirped delightedly, startling her out of her revelry.   Miroku sat at a low wooden table in the center of the veranda smiling at her, his staff placed carefully at his side.  Next to him sat a middle aged man, with grime covering his battered clothing, sipping tea solemnly.  "What a pleasant surprise!" 

             Finding his genuine warmth infective, Kagome answered, "It's nice to see you too, Miroku."  

"I trust last night went well?" The monk asked suggestively, in spite of his innocent expression.  He held his hands up in a placating gesture when she began to sputter at him with wide eyes.  "What? I was worried for your sake!" 

She joined them at the table, sitting on one of the crimson cushions lining its edges.  Her eyes wandered to the stranger next to Miroku as she made herself comfortable, crossing her ankles to sit on her calves.   The man did not meet her gaze, his disheveled coal colored hair falling about his eyes as he continued to sip his tea.  So much dirt was caked on his weathered skin she could not make out whether his complexion was tan or fair.  Blushing, she looked away, realizing she was staring at him rudely.  But something about him just seemed so familiar…

            Noticing her interest, Miroku spoke up. "Forgive me for not formally introducing you, Kagome-sama.  Kagome-sama, this is Hiko, Inu-Yasha's best man from yesterday.  Hiko, this is Inu-Yasha's wife."  Hiko muttered a few inaudible syllables in response, still not meeting her gaze.  "I am afraid you will have to pardon Hiko as well, Kagome-sama, since he is still a little hung over from celebrating.  Hopefully the tea I mixed for him should help."  

            "Oh." Kagome responded as she looked around the veranda, trying to find Shippo.  "Where did Inu-Yasha's head servant go?" She wondered aloud with a frown.

            "Head servant?" Miroku inquired with an arched eyebrow.  

            "Yeah, you know, Shippo-chan." 

            Miroku gave her a crooked grin, amused at how trusting she was.  "Let me guess, he told that, didn't he?"

            The girl shrunk a little on the cushion as she looked away. "Well I did find it a little odd…"

            The monk's expression softened, "No one would expect you to accuse a child of lying. Shippo is Inu-Yasha's only servant," He explained, "Shippo's parents were friends of the family.   They were murdered a year and a half ago by some demon brothers looking to gather more power.  Shippo was left with nothing, and nearly no one to turn to.  Taisho-sama tried to get him to come live with them as his ward, but the boy would have none of it.  He claimed it wouldn't be right for him to impose, and that his father would be disappointed if he took charity.  So Inu-Yasha offered him a position as his servant to get him to live in the castle.  He figured since he had never required the services of a servant before, he could just send the kid to do a few bogus errands every now and then to sooth his ego.  Little did he know Shippo would be so stubborn about fulfilling his duties…" 

            "Poor boy… So my _dear_ husband got more than he bargained for?" Kagome felt her lips tug into a grin at the thought of an exasperated Inu-Yasha trying to get Shippo to _stop_ working. 

            "Much more. No matter how many times Inu-Yasha bops him on the head for serving him breakfast and lunch, washing his shirts, tidying his room, or do any of the other things the servants do, Shippo keeps doing them.  Even more amusing is he doesn't do the one thing Inu-Yasha wants him to do, which is address him as Inu-Yasha-sama." Miroku chuckled as he thought about the two's constant squabbles. "Shippo doesn't think he deserves the title and tells him as much."

            "I can't really blame him." Kagome confided conspiratorially. 

             "Neither can I."  He winked in response. "I'm sure the boy just went to get your breakfast.  He probably figures attending to you is probably part of his duties as Inu's servant." 

            Sure enough the little kitsune appeared in the doorway momentarily, wobbling from side to side as he precariously balanced a steaming tray on his head.  Rushing to his aid, Kagome took the tray from him, setting it before her on the table.  "Thank you, Head servant Shippo-chan!" 

            The boy beamed in response, even though he was still wheezing from the exertion. "No problem, Kagome." 

              Kagome wasted no time in digging in to the sumptuous food before her.  She really hadn't eaten much the night before out of nervousness, making her ravenous at the moment.  Turning toward the small fox watching her, she tried to talk to him whenever her mouth wasn't full.  "Shippo-chan, would you like to accompany me to my lesson with Kaede this morning?  I was planning on having a picnic afterwards, and could use some company." 

            "Would you mind if I came too, Kagome-sama?" Miroku asked hopefully.

            Pausing mid chew, Kagome thought cautiously about his request. "Sure… as long as you don't try anything." 

            Miroku gasped in shock, "Kagome-sama, I am a monk! What on earth would give you the idea that I would dream of doing anything indecent?" 

            Kagome rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to list my reasons alphabetically or chronologically?" She asked dryly.

            Shippo answered her first question as Miroku pouted, "I would love to come, Kagome, but I have to clean Inu-Yasha's room." 

            Waving her hand in dismissal, she snorted, "Nonsense.  Besides, when was the last time he gave you a vacation?" 

            The kitsune mulled this over thoughtfully. "I don't think he ever has…" 

            "That's it," Kagome said resolutely, "You are taking today off, and tomorrow, if I have anything to say about it.  You are coming with me and we are going to have a picnic." 

            "If you say so…" Shippo agreed uneasily, "But don't let the jerk think it was my idea…" 

            "Don't worry, I will tell him that you were forced to come to the picnic, and didn't enjoy a minute of it.  It's completely my fault." Shippo smiled a little in response.

            Suddenly the long forgotten silent party at the table stood up, brushing off some mud as he prepared to leave.  Worried she had offended him, Kagome also stood up quickly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Sir; I didn't mean to exclude you! You can come as well, if you wish."

            For a moment Hiko's sad, weary blue-gray eyes met her youthful ones, trying to find something to say to the young woman before him.  But he looked down again when the only thing he could think of was how much she reminded him of her mother.  With that he carefully shrugged of her hand and silently stepped down into the garden, trampling on flowers in his path.  He spoke without turning back toward the others, "Thanks for the offer, but I must be on my way.  Don't worry, I will find my way back to the village from here, no need to show me the door."  Pausing as his foot slammed down on yet another blossom, he turned his head slightly in the direction of Miroku, "Thank you for the tea, it really did the trick." 

            It worked a little too well in fact.  The clarity of what had just taken place was as sharp and painful as a dagger to the heart.  He had unwittingly attended his daughter's wedding.  Boy, did he need another drink.  

"Aim a little higher," Kaede instructed Kagome over the girl's shoulder.  Lord Yamura's castle grounds did not include a practice area for archery.  Archery was mainly practiced by mikos and humans, and the Yamuras preferred to be up close and personal with their prey anyway.  Why use a bow and arrow from a far when you can just rip their heads off?  So Kagome was force to have her archery lesson in the forest instead, where she had plenty of trees for targets.  

            Struggling to block out the hum of the forest life surrounding her, Kagome adjusted her aim, focusing on the large, sprawling oak about forty feet in front of her. 

            "Very good," The elderly miko remarked encouragingly, "Now, whenever you are ready, shoot. Just remember to stay relaxed, and concentrate on sending your energy into both the arrow and the target."   

Kaede had insisted Kagome change into clothes more suitable for archery practice, and had also taken the liberty of bringing some, claiming it was a belated wedding present.  The white haori and red hakama was very similar to Kaede's, but loosely fitted to Kagome's form.  Her hair was swept back and tied with a ribbon to keep from interfering with her aim.  
            "Yea Kagome!" Shippo squeaked from Miroku's shoulder as the man reclined against a tree diagonally behind the girl. "You can do it!"

            Kaede raised an eyebrow admonishingly, "Hush now, Shippo, Kagome needs to concentrate." 

            "Thank you Shippo-chan." Kagome said to lessen the blow to the kitsune's ego, still trying to force her energy into the bow.  For several moments she was still, glaring at her target in determination.  Finally she let the arrow fly through her green surroundings, landing with a powerful thud a hair above her intended target.

            "Well done, Kagome."  Kaede congratulated her as Miroku whistled in appreciation and Shippo clapped and cheered gleefully.  "Your form isn't too bad at all for someone without much training.  All we have to work on-"

            The miko was interrupted by wild thrashing rustling in the tree Kagome had hit.  Suddenly a figure in red bounded out of the tree and toward them, all the while hollering at the top of his lungs.  "DAMN IT BITCH! Of _all_ the places you could have practiced in the whole of the forest, you just had to pick the one I was in, didn't you?!"  Inu-Yasha was now nearly breathing down Kagome's neck, seething at her with annoyed amber eyes.

            Kagome gaped at him a moment before answering him, beginning to get irritated herself. "Well it's not as if you TOLD me where you were going to be, now did you?!" 

            "Stupid wench," Inu-Yasha growled, leaning forward to hover over her further.  "I _told you I was going to hunt this morning.  Now, thanks to you, all of the game in the area has probably been scare away."  There was no way he was going to tell her she had just disturbed his sulking not his hunting.  He had been so deep in thought that the arrow had managed to startle him, making him extraordinarily grouchy.  Not to mention he was looking at the spitting image of Kikyo.  Right down to the ribbon in her hair.  **Where the fuck did she get that outfit? **_

            Momentarily out of ammunition with which to defend her self, Kagome's mouth opened and closed several times.  So he hadn't just left her there with no explanation.  **It's not a good reason, but it is a reason nonetheles**s.   This by no means meant that she was going to back down from the argument.  He had just come barreling at her yelling at her, with out so much as a 'Hi honey, how has your day been so far?' So she used the only argument she had left. "Well, you never give Shippo-chan anytime off!"

            Opening his mouth to shout back, Inu-Yasha stopped, momentarily dumbfounded by the turn the argument had taken.  Kagome used this brief silence to gain momentum. She marched over to Shippo and plucked him off Miroku's shoulder, returning to Inu-Yasha to all but shove the fox-demon in the hanyou's face.  "The boy works and he works and you never give him a vacation!  Do you even say thank you? Have you ever given him a holiday bonus?!" Kagome eyes began to water up, thoroughly getting into the guilt trip she was laying on her husband.  

The boy was slumped in embarrassment in Kagome's grasp.  "Its okay, Kagome, it's the least I can do to earn my keep."  He muttered softly, blushing madly as he tried no to look Inu-Yasha in the eye.  

"No it's not, Shippo-chan!" She countered resolutely, "You are a kid, and should have time to act like one!  You should play, and make friends, not take orders all the time for gods sake!" She glared accusingly at the half demon "Did you even think about that?" 

            Inu-Yasha was both frantic and confused.  Why was this suddenly all about the runt?  Just a moment ago he had been about to exact vengeance for having his moping interrupted, and now the bitch was near tears because his servant didn't get a New Year's bonus? The kid had it almost as good as he did, it wasn't his problem if he continued to work against everything Inu-Yasha had told him. But her big blue-gray eyes were brimming with tears, making it impossible for him to tell her where she could shove it.  So instead he shrunk back from her a little, ears pressed flat against his skull.  

            Inwardly sighing in triumph, Kagome went for a full victory.  "Well I will not see this child exploited any further."  She announced righteously, eyeing Inu-Yasha over her raised chin, "He is going to be my servant from now on, and he is taking today and tomorrow off. And he will also take a day off every week from now on." 

            "What?!" Inu-Yasha roared indignantly, "He's my fucking servant, bitch! You just can't fucking confiscate him like that!"

            Kagome smirked thinly as she hissed "Oh yes I can, husband dearest.  One of my stipulations last night was that I get my own personal servant.  I choose Shippo." 

            "Stipulations?" Miroku decided perk up from his silence, arching an eyebrow in surprise, "You let her have stipulations?" 

            Inu-Yasha's eyes narrowed.  "You were serious? Even after everything else last night?" 

            Kagome could see him struggling to keep the flecks of hurt out of his eyes.  Still she stood firm, "Not about having unlimited access to all of your accounts, but I am serious about this." She paused a moment "And about being served breakfast in bed; I have always wanted to try that." 

            "Well, you never really wanted Shippo to serve you anyway." Miroku chimed in when he saw Inu-Yasha snarling at her.

            "So it's settled then," Kaede intervened with a voice that closed all discussion. "Shippo will attend to Kagome, and Inu-Yasha won't be burdened with a servant he does not want." Nodding to her self she walked toward Kagome, "I think that will work out rather nicely, now if we can get back to your lesson dear-"

            "Don't I get any fucking say in this?"  Inu-Yasha cried in exasperation, clenching and un-clenching his fists.

            "No." The elderly miko replied shortly. "Now Kagome, what we need to work on now is your form-"__

            "NOW LOOK HERE OLD WOMAN-"

            "Inu-Yasha," Kaede spoke calmly, not turning to look at the hanyou, "If you want you can go elsewhere, but if you are planning on staying I am going to have to ask you to be quiet while I continue instructing your wife."

            Pouting furiously, Inu-Yasha stomped over to the tree Miroku was leaning against and plopped down sullenly.  He crossed his arms in his sleeves as he scowled at nothing in particular. 

Shippo hopped away from Kagome to once again sit on Miroku's shoulder. The kitsune could not suppress a giggle of delight at Inu-Yasha being to seriously told off by two women within five minutes.  The bop he received on the head for his near silent chuckles didn't stop him from laughing out loud a few moments later.  

"Oh, shut the fuck up, brat!" 

"Inu-Yasha…" Kaede warned, causing the hanyou to once again fall silent morosely, and the boy to start laughing even harder.     

            Kagome sighed in delight as the group walked back toward the castle after their picnic.  There was something so tranquil about walking through the forest.  The sun darted through the trees, shining brightly only to disappear again like a child playing hide and seek.  Each limb of every tree seemed interwoven with each other, creating an intricate net that kept the sun's heat at bay.   Her mother and grandfather had always insisted that she never walk in the forest, fearing she might be attacked by youkai.  This was a treat for her senses, and she eagerly enjoyed the forests sights and sounds.  

At least she would have, if a certain inu hanyou hadn't been stomping through the greenery, grumbling to himself about "hags and battle axes" who didn't no their place.   She gritted her teeth, desperately trying to hold her tongue.  **He's such a child!**   Kagome swore she had seen five year olds that acted better than this.  The boy was walking so fast that she barely got to take in the scenery. Worst of all his menacing stampede through the forest had scared away all of the wildlife; every flock of birds flew off when he entered the vicinity.  

The last straw for her was when he stomped on a butterfly, not watching where he was going.  "That's it!" She huffed, halting in her step, causing Shippo to bump into the back of her leg. "What the heck is wrong with you?"

Inu-Yasha stopped in response, still as ice.  Every muscle in his form wound even tighter as he slowly turned to face her, barely controlling his fiery temper.  "What's wrong with me?" He hissed incredulously, glowering at her coldly. "You have the fucking nerve to ask what is wrong with me?!   First you yell at me for the way I treat Shippo, even though I don't force the brat to do a _thing_,  then you just confiscate him as if he were some kind of thing, then you demand to be served breakfast in bed every day, and NOW you have the NERVE to ask what the fuck is wrong?! Where the fuck do you get off?!" 

Kagome didn't know whether to start crying or screaming.  He had never been this mad with her before, she had never seen such venom in his eyes.  "Look, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but you just came out of that tree screaming and-"

"That doesn't entitle you to act like a self righteous bitch!" He snapped back.

            "Well if you didn't have such a temper, you bastard-"

"I DON'T HAVE A BAD TEMPER!" 

            "Would you stop yelling at me for a moment?" 

            "Oh, just fuck off bitch." Turning angrily he got ready to storm away, when he heard a stifled sob from behind him.

            Slumping in defeat, Kagome whispered ruefully, "I just can't win with you can I?"   Before Inu-Yasha could reply, or even turn to see the girl's face, she took off running with all abandon away from the four others in the direction of the castle.  

            Shippo immediately scampered off after her, "Wait, Kagome!" He cried as he tried to reach the fleeing girl. 

            Miroku, who had watched the heated exchange in grim silence, took this opportunity to speak up.  "You know, Inu-Yasha, she actually helped you out back there." 

            Sinking onto the grass beneath him, the hanyou replied bitterly, "I don't want to hear it, monk."

            "He's right,  Inu-Yasha." Kaede spoke up softly, her gravelly voice chiding, " If Shippo serves Kagome, she is more likely to get him to relax and accept his place as a ward rather than a servant.  She was arguing with you impart so that Shippo would believe she wanted him as a servant, rather than just helping him out."

            "She could've said something!" Inu-Yasha defended stubbornly.  

            Rolling his navy blue eyes the monk replied dryly, "I believe that would have defeated the purpose." 

            "Whatever." Inu-Yasha muttered, completely out of arguments as he held his head in his callused hands.  

            Sighing, Kaede began to walk in the direction of the castle, "You aren't even giving her a chance." 

            Miroku followed her, responding to the miko just loud enough for Inu-Yasha to hear, "That's because he doesn't want to."

            Inu-Yasha  really did hate the fact that the monk knew him so well.    

            Inu-Yasha didn't see Kagome again until supper.  He had entered the dining room out of habit, listlessly taking his place at the lavish table, only to find her seated there beside him. Thankfully she had changed out of the haori and hakama so similar to the ones Kikyo had always worn, allowing him to breath easier.  Her head remained bowed in front of her, not looking at him as she fiddled with the skirt of her royal blue silk kimono.   The pink swelling lining her eyes betrayed her crying, even though her expression remained closed.  He could tell she didn't want her new in-laws to know she had been upset.

            Kagome needn't have feared them noticing however.  Taisho was too caught up ranting about insolent relatives trying to take over his property to have seen anything in front of him.   Takiko was busy trying to hide her pain to notice Kagome's, smiling in an almost manic fashion as she rocked back and forth.  As for Sesshomaru, he just didn't care; the lives and emotions of mortals meant less to him then a fly in his soup.  

            All of them sat in silence as the food was served; the only noise in the cold stone room was the clanking of plates being set on the table.  Each was off in their own perspective worlds as they mechanically began to eat their food.  

            Suddenly Taisho spoke up, finally relaxing after the days trials.  "So Kagome," The girl in question looked up at him meekly. "How do you like your new home?"

            Kagome winced internally.  The word 'home' seemed so final.  A flash of family dinners of old lit her mind; Ji-chan prattling on about the history of miso soup while Souta flicked food under their mother's disapproving gaze.  A bittersweet smile crossed her features before she could cover it with one more cheerful, "It's beautiful here."

            "So I take it you are happy with this whole arrangement?" Taisho prodded further.  After all the painstaking planning it would be nice to be told by someone he had done his job well.  Maybe not Inu-Yasha, he wasn't about to expect his son to be grateful yet, or anytime in the near future, but maybe the girl would show the proper respect and appreciation.  

            Thrown momentarily, Kagome sat there dumbly trying to think of something to say.  She cast a glance in Inu-Yasha's direction, only to find he was thoroughly entranced by his steak.  **Well, it's probably better to lie for now**.  Smiling brightly, she answered, "Very much so, Yamura-sama.  Arigato-goziemashita." 

            Taisho frowned imperceptibly for a moment.  He knew that smile; he had seen Takiko don it a thousand times, although hers was now flawed and worn with age.  Sure, he had wanted a 'thank you' or two, but this wasn't what he wanted.  He wanted one from her heart. 

Shifting his position on his cushion, he took his bearded chin in his hand as he studied the newly married couple.  Both sat rigidly in their seats, neither one looking at the other.  Instead of sitting together as lovers would, they were a respectable distance apart, as if complete strangers.  It was time for extreme measures.  "I'm so glad to hear that Kagome."  Taisho spoke seriously, plotting his next move as if it were chess.  "And I trust everything between the two of you went well last night?" 

**Oh, he's asking for it. "Quite." Kagome deadpanned, looking at Taisho with a completely solemn expression.  Inu-Yasha nearly choked on the piece of meat he had been chewing in response.**

   Sesshomaru groaned inaudibly.  "Must we discuss the mortals' mating at the dinner table?  Surely there is a more appropriate topic of conversation, Father."

Ignoring his oldest son, Taisho swept in for the kill with a small predatory smile. "Well in that case, I am sure you wouldn't mind giving me a grandchild as soon as possible."  The statement echoed off each of the walls as everyone else gaped in shock.  Taisho just smiled wider.  

_            The Masterpiece theater set has returned to normal, complete with a fire place and book cases.  Miroku is visibly pouting, while Sango looks concerned._

_Sango__: Rambler isn't really going to force them to have children, is she? Why does she insist on torturing these two?_

_Miroku__:_(Still pouting with his arms crossed) Why does she insist on torturing _me__? I didn't even get to do that much in this chapter! _

_Sango__: (Grumbling) At least you were in this chapter, I haven't even shown up yet.  _

_Miroku__: (Stands up quickly and runs behind Sango's chair, begins giving her a back massage) Don't worry, dearest Sango, I'm sure she will put me in the next one.  _

_Sango__: (Sighs) No, Kouga is showing up in the next one, but not me._

_Miroku__:_(His message starts going lower, towards her butt) Well I am sure she is going to put you in soon!  
Sango: I hope so… (Suddenly goes rigid as she realizes what's going on) HOUSHI-SAMA! (She tries to strangle him from her position in the chair, and then begins to chase him around the set) You hentai!__

_Miroku__: (Fleeing for his life) Now Sango, I was only trying to make you feel better! (Almost gets swiped with her giant boomerang) Jeez, there is no reasoning with some women! Well if you will excuse me, dear readers, I must pay more attention- (Sango successfully swaps him on the head, making him speak in a very slurred voice) Ta vere I'm goin'. (Drops on the floor in a large heap.)_

_Sango__: (Smiling brightly) Well I feel much better now.  The lech and I will see you later readers, please remember to review! (A big neon sign that says "Review or Face the wrath of the dreaded Mongoose!" drops behind Sango).  _


	8. Enough to Make You Scream

_The trumpets blare on the Masterpiece theater set, where the two chairs have been replaced with a bed, situated in front of the fireplace.  Miroku is slumped unconsciously in the bed, a pack of ice on his forehead.  Sango is grumbling and sweeping up debris in front of him.  ___

_Sango: (Muttering to herself) I wonder when Houshi-sama is going to wake up and help me clean up this mess… (Her question is answered as a hand grabs at her butt; she rolls her eyes and removes the hand as she turns to the monk) I really don't know why Rambler gave you a bed, you weren't hurt THAT badly. ___

_Miroku: Sango, you hit me with a GIANT boomerang.  It's amazing I haven't gone brain-dead from all of the hits I have taken. (Pouts innocently) You have no respect for a servant of Buddha. ___

_Sango: Hey! I'm not the one who started it! You're the one who felt me up, Houshi-sama!  You're the one at fault here.  ___

_Miroku: (Somewhat smug smile) Then why did Rambler give me a bed so I could recover from my injury and give you clean up duty?___

_Sango: (Fidgets before turning to sweep again, out of the monk's reach of course) Oh go back to sleep, lech! ___

_Miroku: (Makes himself more comfortable on the bed) I can't, didn't you notice them? (Points to the readers) ___

_Sango: (Looks up, and jumps in shock) Where did they come from? ___

_Miroku: (Shakes his head in disapproval) Now is that any way to greet our dear readers, Sango? (Turns on his side to get a better look at the readers) Well, welcome back to Rambler's story.  Unfortunately, I am not in this chapter (frowns), but Rambler assures me that I will play a bigger part in the next one.  For those who are not deterred by the fact that I am not in the chapter-___

_Sango: Which would be all of them…___

_Miroku: -Here is Earl the Lawyer with the disclaimer.___

_Earl the Lawyer: (Trudges on the set in what looks like a weasel costume, except it has a thicker tail and stripes on its back.  He does not look too thrilled with his costume.) Before the disclaimer, the majestic Rambling Coffee Addict has a few things for the readers.  One, to Hime-chan, you are SO right; Inu-Yasha does seem to have something the size of the titanic shoved up his butt.  But that is why we love our "Super Ass".  That was a great title for her beloved Inu-chan by the way.  Also, thank you to __Scorpion__Ocean__ for beta reading the chapter, and for trying to help her with the title.  The only reason she didn't use it was because it would give away what happened, and she wanted to catch the readers off guard.  For all those who were wondering what the dreaded mongoose was, this is what one looks like (Points to his costume).  Rambler thinks that they are scary and imposing because the make her head hurt.  Although they have goose in their name, they are not birds, but rather rodent looking mammals.  It makes no sense to her. Obviously, someone who cannot wrap her head around the concept of a mongoose does not own Inu-Yasha (Lightning strikes, Earl dodges, but it hits his tail, making it catch on fire.  Earl the Lawyer frantically blows and stomps on his tail to get the fire out.) I WORE THE FREAKING COSTUME! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!___

_Miroku: To own the rights to the song "Play That Funky Music White Boy" and me in an Elvis costume. ___

_Sango and Earl the Lawyer: (Stare) ___

_Miroku: What?            ___

__

**Chapter 7******

_Enough to Make You Scream___

"Well in that case, I am sure you wouldn't mind giving me a grandchild as soon as possible."   The statement echoed off each of the walls as everyone else gaped in shock.  Taisho just smiled a little wider.  Pretending to take their silence for acquiescence, he went on, "I would prefer a boy to be honest, but a granddaughter might be fun.  That is, of course, if she is the first of several grandchildren, the rest of them being boys."  The dog demon brightened as inspiration hit him. "I think we should name her after her grandmother!  We can call her Taki-chan to distinguish between the two of them. " He smiled fondly at Takiko, who couldn't do more than stare at him dumbly in response. 

            Sesshoumaru was the first to find his voice, glaring in muted horror at his father.  "You want them to _spawn?  Father, have you lost your mind? It is bad enough having the insolent hanyou in the household; but his _pups_?"  The demon nearly choked on the bitter aftertaste of the word.  "They would be more human filth than demon! The Yamura name would lose its esteem among all demon lords!"  It was one thing to wed a human bitch and marry his hanyou son off to another one; it was another thing entirely to order a litter of half-breeds into creation. _

            Then again, his venerated father had never been the sharpest sword in the bunch in Sesshomaru's opinion.  The Lord of the Western Lands never really acted the part of the superior species he was when he was around humans.  He always talked to them casually, as if they were acquaintances rather than insects.  He never roasted the staff alive when they made mistakes, merely telling them not to do it again lest they be fired.  Worst of all, he kept on trying to give the whelp that was his half-brother some sort of life, without having any good reason for doing so.  

His rash, almost whimsically dreadful behavior got worse after Taisho's first wife had died, and reached levels beyond all help when he met the human wench which was to be Sesshomaru's step-mother.  The demon seemed to have just stopped caring about the eyes of respectable society and his conniving family being upon him.          

            Taisho groaned, rolling his dark amber eyes.  "Oh, stop twittering about your inheritance.  Just because you are going to be Lord of the Western Lands sometime in the future does not mean that I have to do what you want to preserve our reputation.  I don't give a crap about what those shitty pricks think any way."  

            Growling in response, Sesshoumaru stood up lividly, both hands slamming down on the table.  "Someone in this family has to preserve our reputation!  Why do you care about the lowly hanyou spawning mongrel pups anyway?" 

            "Don't talk about Taki-chan that way, son!"

            "THERE IS NO TAKI-CHAN YOU BASTARD!" Inu-Yasha burst into the argument, slamming his plate and the rest of his dinner into the wall. Takiko whimpered in response, shivering as she rocked ever more violently back and forth.  "There never will be! I'm not having pups just to please your sorry ass!"   It wouldn't have pleased him much anyway.  Nothing he did seemed to please the bastard.  Why should he keep trying to reach for something he was never going to get?

            "I don't see why you are so opposed to this Inu-Yasha," Taisho hissed, eyes flashing from his seat.  "You act as if you do not enjoy your wife's attention.  All I am asking you to do is just enjoy them a little more." 

            Sesshoumaru flinched, gods he hated the mental images this conversation was giving him.  Closing his eyes in consternation, Sesshoumaru tried to reason with his obviously depraved father.  Maybe he was suffering post traumatic stress disorder from hundreds of years of defending the Western Lands.  Or maybe he was just getting old. "Father, even if the hanyou's miko bitch were to bear a pup, how would it be capable of running the Western Lands, much less defend itself from any youkai?  It would be too weak to be of any use to the family." 

            Inu-Yasha winced, but said nothing.  If his brother wanted to fight with their father about this, that was fine with him.  He was past words.  Wasn't it enough he had married her? Wasn't it enough that he let her into his room, into his home, and into his private world: something he hadn't done for anyone but a lost priestess he loved with his whole heart? 

            **He doesn't get it.  In all likelihood his father, for all his talk of knowing Inu-Yasha, didn't know what he was asking.  He was asking for his son to sire a child, knowing full well the poor unsuspecting kid would suffer the exact fate as he did.  Inu-Yasha would be subjecting his pup to the hateful ridicule having mixed blood demands.  No one deserved the daily shit he had to trudge through to survive.  There was no way in any of the seven hells Inu-Yasha was going to sire a pup only to see it flounder in pointless agony as he did when he was younger. **

            Sighing, Taisho clasped his hands together in front of him, willing his eldest son not to take this the wrong way. "Look Sesshoumaru, you're my heir and all, and I'm still confident in the job you will do as Lord of the Western Lands.  You're a terrific leader, warrior, and politician, and I have no doubt your rule will be a very prosperous one." He caught Inu-Yasha sniggering out of the corner of his eye, but continued. "But you've yet to take a mate, and you are over three hundred years old.  I've frankly given up hope you will continue the Yamura line." He stated as casually as possible, before adding quickly, "Don't get me wrong, son.  I have no problem with you being… well, a pansy who plays for the other team, it's just I want the Yamuras to rule for millennia, not a few more centuries."

            Sesshoumaru blinked in response, both dumbfounded and mortified.  Feeling his pride slammed in the gut, he snarled, "I am not 'playing for the other team' as you so eloquently put it, Father." 

            Taisho sunk a little into the pillow.  Apparently that hadn't come out the way he wanted it to.  "It's nothing to be ashamed of, my boy.  If you swing the other way, that is perfectly fine with me, and I will personally rip the spleen out of anyone who says otherwise. But there really is no point in denying it.  I mean, you wear _purple eye makeup_.  Everyone in the family has known for years," He gestured toward his trembling wife, "Even Takiko." 

            Giving his stepmother a withering glare, his voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke acidly "I wear eye makeup to emphasize my eyes and make them appear more terrifying.  I am not what you accuse me of being, and I shall castrate anyone who even whispers about my being so." His eyes snapped to his father, their dull gold turning to a vengeful red, "And if you ever, _ever,_ say that again, I will not wait for your demise to renounce my allegiance to you and hold a rebellion to take your kingdom from you. How _dare you speak to _me_, your rightful heir, in such a hideous manner, Father." His voice stern and controlled as if he were the parent and Taisho the rebellious child.  "Are we clear?"  _

            His father bowed his head in response, realizing exactly what a large mistake it had been to anger his son.  Although his son always felt honor bound to him, wounding his eldest son's pride might very well be his undoing if he wasn't careful.  "Crystal.  Gomen ne, son, I was severely out of line.  I shall try to make amends for my callous arrogance, please do not begrudge this old demon a few stupid words." Sesshoumaru seemed to be somewhat satisfied with this response, returning to his seat cautiously.  Inwardly Taisho knew it was going to take more than that too placate his son's ego.  He was going to have to do some serious graveling, but he was too old to let his pride get in the way of ensuring Sesshomaru's loyalty.  "But I still would like to see Inu-Yasha have pups as soon as possible."

            "No." Inu-Yasha answered quietly but firmly, not looking up from the table as he spoke.  

            Rolling his eyes, Taisho braced himself.  One son down, one to go.  Joy.  "And why not, Inu-Yasha?" 

            "One, I just got married yesterday-"

            "I'm just asking you to start trying-" Taisho interjected.

            "I'm not finished asshole!" Inu-Yasha snapped.  "Not to mention that I am too fucking young, and even if I weren't I would not bring up a pup in this fucking hellhole."

            "I brought you up in this hellhole," Takiko spoke up unexpectedly, feeling the need to referee between her husband and son.  Her mahogany eyes rose to meet her sons "Did I do a bad job?"  She honestly wouldn't have minded grandchildren.  If anything, they would have helped.  More people she could trust and count on in the house.  Already some of her demon in-laws were diverting their attention to Kagome.  Maybe if there were more of them she could live her life without the ax of anxiety swinging over her head.  

            "No!" Inu-Yasha said hurriedly, causing his mother to duck her head and smile a bit before his voice turned soft, "But I still won't have pups." He clenched his fists as he looked down, knowing he was disappointing her. "I'm sorry, I just can't." 

            "Of course you can Inu-Yasha." His father said, dismissing his son's refusal with a wave of his clawed hand. "You just insert Tab A into Slot B, and repeat.  It is really quite simple."  

            Ears flattened against his beat red skull, Inu-Yasha ground out, "I SAID NO!  I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU GRANDCHILDREN!" 

            "Now look here, boy." Taisho leaned forward, preparing to do whatever was necessary to get what he wanted. "I am your father, and I am ordering you to-"        

            "I'M DONE WITH YOUR ORDERS! You can shove them up your fucking ass! I've had it! You always order me to do things without even thinking about how I fucking feel!  You didn't even let me look for Kikyo-"

            "KIKYO IS DEAD!" Taisho struck back viciously, before seeing the pain that suddenly flooded into his son's eyes.  He had stuck his foot in his mouth yet again; just brilliant.  Starting more slowly, Taisho tried to atone for the betrayal and bitterness swelling in his son's bright gold eyes.  "What I mean is- well…. She's gone, son, and you have to accept that.  If I had thought she was alive, I swear I would've let you chase after her for an eternity.  But she's not…" Despite his efforts, his son's bitterness only festered further.  

            "I think…" Everyone turned to find it was Kagome who was hesitantly speaking, her eyes turned contemplatively toward her lap.  "With all due respect, Yamura-sama, I do not think it would be wise for Inu-Yasha and I to try to have children at this time.  After all, I have not gained full control over my miko powers. How would I protect the child when I can barely protect myself? Maybe a year from now, we might try to have children, but I think we should wait until I've mastered my gifts." She smiled as she looked up at Takiko, who was frowning and looking away.  "When I do have a child, however, I would be honored to call her Taki-chan."   The woman turned to her in surprise, giggling a little at the unexpected attention. 

            Taisho frowned thoughtfully, "Your fears are very reasonable, Kagome.  I even admire your maternal instincts in wanting to ensure the safety of little Taki-chan. I must insist though, that there would be no risk of your child being harmed.  Taki-chan would be under the protection of her loving grandfather," He paused to smile proudly, "Her _adoring Uncle Sesshoumaru," The fore mentioned demon grumbled under his breath in response, "And of course her doting dad.  She would be quite safe."_

            "Can we stop talking about the kid as if it is already here?" Inu-Yasha whined, both hands rubbing his aching head. "Cause you're all aware there is no fucking Tooki-chan or whatever the fuck you are calling it." 

            "Her name is Taki-chan, son." His father corrected.

            Kagome sighed inaudibly.  She hadn't spoken up sooner because she had thought Inu-Yasha would have been able to tell his father off.  From the family argument she had just witnessed, it was obviously this man was much more formidable than she had thought he was.   It was obvious that she was going to have to give in some how, he was just too stubborn to accept anything but a 'fine, we'll do whatever you say, whenever you say it.' **But I'm not going to have a child, and I don't want to lie to him… She really didn't want to lie to anyone; not too mention she was terrible at it.  Eyes brightening, she realized the solution was simpler than she thought.  Turning toward Taisho, she asked him frankly, "You're not going to this give up until we agree, are you?" **

            Taisho gifted her with a brilliant fanged smile, nearly giving in to the urge to run over and hug the life out of his new daughter in-law. "Nope."

            "And you are probably going to make our lives miserable and nag us every moment you can until we either kill ourselves or do what you say?"

            "Pretty much." 

            Her blue gray eyes shifted to catch her husband's meaningfully, "Well, since I want to save you the trouble of causing us untold amounts of hell, I must say I wouldn't be opposed to trying something like we did last night again."  Inu-Yasha's snowy eyebrow arched slightly as he understood what she was saying.  "That is, if you don't mind, husband." 

            "And we're back to the mortals' mating habits." Sesshoumaru said dryly before groaning, "Will my torment never end?" 

            "I suppose we could give _that_ a try…" Inu-Yasha agreed slowly, still holding Kagome's gaze.  Why was she helping him again? She didn't seem the least bit upset about what he had said earlier, and even he had to admit that he had been a jerk.  He was never going to figure this girl out.  

            Nearly brimming with self-pride, Taisho responded, "That is all I am asking." Maybe this plan of his would work after all.  Now to get the two of them alone so they could start working on Taki-chan.  **Maybe if they have a boy they could name him Tai… Nah, Inu-Yasha would never stand for that… Oh well.  **Standing, he grabbed his wife's hand and pulled her to him, his good mood taking hold of him, "Well, if you will excuse us, we will be heading off to bed-" 

            "That's it.  I am never eating dinner at this table again." Sesshoumaru announced, also getting up to leave the table.  "I must find a way to get rid of these mental images…" He grumbled to himself as he quickly left the room.  

            Taisho continued as if nothing had happened. "So, I bid you newly weds a _very good night."   Takiko waved slightly before Taisho whisked her out of the dining hall._

            Silence engulfed the hall as Kagome and Inu-Yasha still sat at the table.  Inu-Yasha turned toward the girl, mouth open and trying to find the right words.  No, he knew the right words, but 'I'm sorry' was just so hard to say.  It was something about the syllables his tongue was supposed to form, the sounds he had to create in the back of his throat or maybe it was the pride he had to force him to swallow.  

He sat there several seconds, trying to make the words come out of his mouth as she pouted thoughtfully and stirred the cold soup in front of her.   In the end it was her who spoke first, "I didn't finish my soup, and didn't even get to any of my steak.  Is this what usually happens, or does your family actually finish a meal every once and awhile?" She asked as she took the finger dripping with broth and cleaned it on her kimono. 

Closing his mouth, he smirked a little.  "No, usually it's _much worse. Most of the time everyone storms off in a tuff and there is a lot more cursing.  I don't think I have ever actually finished a meal."  She made everything so easy.  It was just forgotten and brushed aside like a dust on a bureau. "Come on, let's go to bed."_

The night was heartless to the dejected boy wandering through it.  Her cold winds blew harshly against his battered form, her calls and sounds warned him there would be no mercy if he were caught by one of her creatures.  Her blackness made the shadows of the trees around him hang even heavier, making it impossible to tell if he was on the right path.  

Every cell in his body was angrily protesting the fact that the boy kept moving.  Hojo had never ached this much in his entire life.  But it wasn't his crumpled body that concerned him; it was his crumpled heart.  **I lost her**. 

Finally he gave into what every fiber of his being demanded, sinking down into the dirt of the path.  **I really lost her**.  Why was his heart still even beating?  The hero wasn't supposed to be able to live without his ladylove.  Why was he still here, breathing choppy breath after choppy breath, when she was at that demon's castle, married off to a man way too strong for him to fight? 

The truth was, he didn't know.  None of his plans had covered any of this happening.  None of his plans had ever included what to do if all of his plans were blown to bits.  What he really needed was a plan for when you don't have a plan, but he had never thought to make one.  He was stuck in the middle of his life with no roadmap; and to think his life had once been so predictable.  

**And I made a fool of myself in front of her.  Part of him didn't understand where he had gone wrong though.   He had come just in time to save her, told her he loved her, and even confronted her half demon groom for her.   Maybe his mistake was not accounting for the possibility that her groom was half demon.  Yes, that was his mistake, not finding out who the groom was before.  That and making sure the damsel in distress really wanted to be saved.  **

He let his head meet the compacted dirt with a thud.  So what now? **Do I still try to save her?  Do I just give up and move on? But the hero always gets the girl! Either that or he ends up dying in the name of love, but Kagome's groom didn't even have the grace to do that.   He had just tossed Hojo out the door and let him be trampled and chased by demons a few minutes later.  Hojo would never consider ending his own life, it was cowardly and against everything he believed in.  This left no convenient options; life was so confusing without a roadmap.  **

Suddenly a howling gust of wind caught Hojo's attention, lifting him away from his dark musings.  Squinting at the dimness, Hojo realized it looked like a miniature tornado was hurtling straight for him.  He tried to force himself up, reeling against his stiff muscles, but couldn't get out of the way in time.  The tornado collided with him, hitting him like a pile of bricks.  **Wait, aren't tornados supposed to lift you in the air? The tornado itself seemed to be surprised, jumping a little before dissolving into a man in fur and armor that fell on his knees cursing.  Dazed, Hojo just stared at him, not quite understanding what had taken place.     **

The figure began to dust off his fur leg and armbands muttering curses, "I knew I shouldn't have taken the fucking main road! But no, I just had to listen to that prick Ginta.  Of all of the shitty-" The ranting stopped as his sharp nose started to scrunch up and sniff the air.  His bright cerulean eyes glowed unnaturally in the darkness, before narrowing in realization.  He snapped his head in Hojo's direction, sneering at the boy.  "Are you the son of a bitch who caused me to lose my balance?" 

"Um…" Hojo answered nervously, "I guess." 

Raising a hand, the figure got ready to beat the daylights out of the idiot for just lying in the road like that, but stopped again.  Inching forward, he sniffed the battered boy cautiously.  "Wait a minute… Have I met you before?" 

Hojo frowned in confusion.  "I don't mean to be rude, but I think I would remember someone as… distinct as yourself." 

The man wasn't convinced, thrusting his nose in Hojo's face to get a more thorough sniff analysis.  It was then that Hojo saw his elven ears, unruly bangs and long high ponytail.  His eyes widened in horrific realization, "Oh my gods… You're that guy who kept coming up to Kagome and calling her your woman, aren't you?" 

Thick black eyebrows scrunched together, the man asked hesitantly "Dodo?" 

"It's Hojo…" Although he really didn't mind whatever the demon called him as long as he didn't kill him. 

"Oh yeah. So Hobo, what were you saying about my woman?" Kouga asked casually.  The boy's anxieties about him being so dangerously close was putting him in a rather good mood in spite of his earlier fall.

 Curling himself in a ball away from Kouga, he pleaded in a small voice.  "Oh please don't kill me!" **Why do I keep running into demons? I am going avoid them forever….. and ever, and ever…******

 The wolf-demon raised an eyebrow.  "What are you talking about?" Humans were so odd sometimes; all you had to do was ask them a simple question and they fell to pieces.  He poked the boy's back a little, "Hey, boy! Answer me." 

"But you are going to kill me!" 

Kouga rolled his eyes in response.  "Trust me, I wouldn't waste my precious time on something so scrawny." 

Hojo looked up hopefully from his fetal position.  "Promise?" 

"Yeah, I promise." He reassured halfheartedly.  "Now what the fuck did you say about my woman?" 

Gulping, Hojo spoke as slowly as possible, as if it would somehow the news would shock the demon less that way.  "Kagome is…. Well she um… She's-"

"Spit it out runt!" Kouga growled, baring his white fangs and teeth. 

"Kagomegotmarried!" The boy declared hurriedly, squeezing his eyes in fear. 

The wolf-demon stopped growling, staring at him dumbly for a minute.  "What?" 

"Kagome got married!" He shrieked again, babbling hysterical "Wedded!  As in the "I do's" and the overpriced gold rings with the guests, the priest and cake! Now she's some hanyou's wife…." His rambling slowed, his brown eyes becoming misty.  "And she'll never be mine." 

His sad thoughts were stopped by fearful ones as Kouga lifted him up off the ground by his collar.  "Where?" He demanded fierily. 

Panic temporarily overrode any attempt on the boy's part to process the demons question.  "Huh?"

Shaking him firmly, the demon asked again. "Where the fuck is she?!  Who is the son of a bitch she married?!"

"Over at Lord Yamura's castle! She married his son Inu-Yasha!" He answered quickly, before being discarded on the side of the road by the infuriated demon.  With that, Kouga was once again a raging tornado, speeding toward the castle in the far distance.  Catching his breath, Hojo pulled his trembling form over to the side of the road.  His nerves were too fried for him to begin trudging down the path back to his village.    So he sat there, listening to his own breathing, before collapsing into the grass behind him.  **At least I am not the only one who lost her… **

            **Will he hate me for asking him about her? Kagome chewed her lower lip indecision as she waited for Inu-Yasha to come out of the bathroom; sitting cross-legged on the futon.  Everyone kept mentioning the mysterious Kikyo, but no one would explain who she was.  **

            _Sesshoumaru raised his glass solemnly, his eyes gleaming as he spoke, "To Kikyo, for escaping a fate worse than death." ___

            _"KIKYO IS DEAD!" Taisho snapped, causing pain to flood into Inu-Yasha's golden eyes.  ___

            Who _was this girl? Was she someone Inu-Yasha was going to marry? Her presence seemed to stain almost everything, and yet her husband had never mentioned her name to her.  **That's because he still doesn't trust me enough…** She thought with a sigh as Inu-Yasha came out of the bathroom. _

            Drying his hair with a towel, he leaned casually against the wall next to the bathroom's sliding door.  "Mind if we start…" He looked around the room suspiciously before returning his gaze back to her, "Trying to have little Taki-chan another time?" His voice was full of resentful sarcasm, causing Kagome to once again lose her building resolve. 

            "Of course not…" She answered softly, looking down at her hands.  Apparently she had begun to wring them without noticing.  

            Inu-Yasha examined her curiously as he finished toweling his hair.  She was being quiet; that _never happened.  Something was wrong, and he was going to fix it before she started her damned crying.  "Is this about me hollering at you this afternoon, bitch? Cause I thought we were past that."_

            "What?" Her head shot up at the absurdity of his question.  

            "I just mean you didn't seem that pissy after dinner." He explained briskly, "I thought you were over the whole thing, but I guess not."  Hand scratching behind his ear, he muttered to himself, "And I thought human bitches were only supposed to get mood swings during their time of the month…" 

            She bristled as she grated her teeth, trying to fight the urge to throttle him.  After all, she was so nice and comfortable on the futon.  "First of all, halfwit, we never settled anything.  You never apologized.  Secondly, how do you know it isn't that time of the month? Hmm?" It really wasn't, but she just felt like being testy.  Something about the arrogant hanyou just brought out the rebellious five-year- old in her; probably because he was one himself.  

            The dog demon snorted.  "Give me some credit, I do have a sense of smell you know." 

            Raising an eyebrow she grinned in amusement, "You purposefully sniffed me to see if I'm having my cycle?"

            "Fuck no, bitch!" Inu-Yasha snapped in response, backing into the wall.  "Why would I do something like that? I can just smell it.  A bitch smells of it; the scent of blood just comes off her in waves." 

            "Oh." Kagome said dismissively, before stretching out on the futon.  

The curves of her body grew taut as she yawned and reached out her limbs. Inu-Yasha had to force his eyes away from her form, by continuing to dry his hair.  He finished drying the long silky tresses of silver white by leaning down and shaking his hair violently.  A stifled squeal caused him to look up, his face cover by the damp stream of white.  

Dripping wet, Kagome sat up on the futon, not looking very amused.  "Next time, dear," She said in a trained voice as she forced a lock of now soaked hair behind her ear. "Do that in the bathroom." 

Shrugging, Inu-Yasha made his way over to the futon, tossing the towel onto the now slippery floor. "Whatever, wench." 

Staring at him expectantly as he crawled under the covers of the futon, she crossed her arms.  Obviously her rather thick husband needed a bigger hint.  "Couldn't you at least get me a towel since you've gotten me all wet?" 

"There's one over there, bitch." Inu-Yasha replied before lying back against the soft pillow.  He smirked to himself as he heard her grumbling and padding over toward where he had dropped the towel. 

Kagome plopped back on to the futon, wrapping her hair in the soggy towel. "You know you still haven't apologized about earlier." 

Inu-Yasha rolled over into a fetal position facing away from her.  "Give it a rest, bitch." 

Blowing out the last of the candles, Kagome rolled her eyes.  **What more should I expect?  She settled back against her pillow, giving up on wrestling an apology or an explanation about Kikyo from Inu-Yasha.  ****Maybe tomorrow…  "Goodnight, Inu-Yasha." She whispered sleepily.**

"'Night K'gome" 

            Everything felt like she was wrapped up in a ball of searing pain.  Her voice was sore from screaming, even though she knew it did her no good.  Nothing did her any good. No one was going to rescue her, were they?

            **Where are you Inu-Yasha?! ******

            She tensed.  A smile came out of the darkness, wide and lascivious, and all for her.  Her tormentor thrust himself into her once again, causing her to throw her head back in agony as he tore her again.  

            How she hated him. She hated herself just a bit more though for being unable to stop him from doing this to her over and over again.  But if he thought he could break her, that she would give him what he wanted eagerly, pitifully begging for her life to be spared, he had another thing coming.  She would not be broken by the likes of such filth. 

            He was coming again, she just knew it.  Concentrating, she tried to focus her mind away from the dankness around her, centering her energy on the pink glowing ball she now held inside her.  

            **I will never let him have it.    ******

Suddenly her prison was lit by a brilliant flashing white light, as she thrust the pink jewel away from herself.  It would be safe with someone else to protect it.  Hopefully she would keep him busy long enough to make sure the jewel got where it needed to go.  He always seemed to find her agony entertaining.  Maybe she could ask him why he always said he loved her as he tortured her.  That ought to give him some amusement, even though she already knew the answer.  

            **Where are you, Inu-Yasha?******

The scene somehow seemed to change, the girl was suddenly gone in a wisp of smoke. There was a cliff overlooking a gray horizon, and another girl.  She too held a pink ball in her hand, rolling it through her fingers as she stared out absently over the land below her.  "Why did Kikyo give me this?" The girl asked herself, troubled in the midst of her peaceful setting. 

            "I honestly don't know." The girl turned around.  The same smile that had been in the darkness greeted the startled girl.  

            The girl screamed as vine like tentacles came at her.  The pink ball flew into the air.  Once again there was a white light drenched everything as the girl continued to scream.  

            Kagome stood in the whiteness, breathing raggedly from what she had just seen.  It didn't make sense; what was going on? Her disorientation ended abruptly, as the man with the maniacal, hungry smile appeared just inched away from her.  

            His smile eased into a smirk as he traced her features with a cold finger.  "You're so much like her…"  The man said nostalgically as his red eyes wandered over her form.     "Like who?" She asked shakily, trying to make her limbs move, but everything seemed to be frozen solid, including her brain.

            "You already know." He replied cruelly before thrusting his arm into her stomach.  She tried to scream, but nothing came out.  The pain scattered all of her coherent thought.  His hand pulled back violently, revealing what he had ripped out of her; a small, glowing, pink sphere.  He frowned as she fell down in pain. "And yet you seem to be much weaker then her…" His smile returned as the blood began to pour out of her.  "I guess you're nothing but a cheap copy." He sighed in a singsong voice.  

            Kagome found her voice again, and screamed.  

            "Damn it, Kagome! Wake the fuck up!" Inu-Yasha shook the girl with more force than he had the last time, desperate to wake her up. The shaking had no effect, however, and Kagome continued to scream with more force than before, thrashing violently against his tight hold on her.  His eyes narrowed and his ears tried to dig further into his skull.  **What the fuck is she dreaming about?**

            He mulled his options as he straddled her to keep her from hurting herself and pinned her arms at her sides.  Slapping her would probably wake her up, but he didn't like to hit women, and really didn't want to hurt the girl. **Water!** The light bulb went off in his head; **I could splash her with cold water**! But getting up would mean leaving Kagome, and he wasn't entirely convinced that she wouldn't somehow hurt herself in this condition.  So he did the best he could.  

            Kagome twitched, subconsciously confused by the wet drops of spittle on her forehead and nose.  Her screams subsided and her blue-gray eyes opened as the second round of spit sprayed her face and dripped down her cheek.  Momentarily dazed, she looked up to find worried dark golden orbs directly above her. "Inu-Yasha?"  She asked uncertainly.

            The boy sighed in relief, relaxing unconsciously against her body beneath him. The movement caused Kagome to take full stock of her situation.  The hanyou was on top of her, and there was spit all over her face.  She immediately followed the instincts of most people when faced with such a situation; she slapped him and pushed him off of her.  Okay, so admittedly not many people have been known to be in this situation, but Kagome was doing the best she could after a really horrible nightmare.  "What on earth were you doing?!" She cried as she pulled away from Inu-Yasha.

            Inu-Yasha rubbed his sore cheek indignantly, "I was trying to wake your screeching ass up, that's what!" 

            "So you spit on me?!"

            "What did you want me to do?! Slap you? I wanted to pour cold water on you, but I was afraid if I got up and got the damn stuff you might accidentally hurt yourself with all that thrashing." 

            Kagome sighed heavily, holding her head in her hands as her elbows rested on her legs.  "I'm sorry." 

            For several minutes there was silence, until Kagome heard the sounds of rustling in front of her and looked up.  Inu-Yasha forcefully took one of her hands, and began to wipe the spittle from her face off of it with the towel that had been wrapped around her head.  He scrubbed the hand roughly as he asked in a low, gruff voice. "What was the nightmare about?" 

            "I'm not quite sure…" Her eyes took on a distant look.  

            _A ball of searing pain….___

_            **Where are you Inu-Yasha?**_**__**

_            A smile came out of the darkness… ___

_            "I guess you're nothing but a cheap copy." ___

Inu-Yasha noticed Kagome flinch as he wiped off her other hand. "You remember some of it." He stated matter-of-factly. 

            "Yeah." Kagome whispered, her eyes dilated in fear.  

            "So?" He prodded as the towel moved to her cheek, wiping more gently than it had her hands.  

            "Inu-Yasha, I need to know something." Kagome asked hesitantly, still not bringing her eyes to meet his. 

            "What, Kagome?" The towel moved to dry the rest of her forehead.  

            "I don't want you to get mad, but I really need to know…" 

            _"You're so much like her…"___

_            "Like who?" ___

_            "You already know."  ___

"Spit it out already, battle ax." He said impatient as he wiped the remainder of the spit off her nose.  

            She closed her eyes tightly, preparing for all hell to break loose, and asked him the question that had been plaguing her since Sesshomaru's toast as quickly as possible. "WhowasKikyoandwhathappenedtoher?" 

            The towel dropped in front of Kagome with a soft thump.  

            _Back on the set of Masterpiece theatre, Miroku is still lying in the bed by the fireplace and Sango is still cleaning, all the while muttering to herself and plotting the death of a certain monk we all know and love. ___

_Sango: (Takes another bag of trash and prepares to hall it outside, all the while repeating this to herself) Just two more chapters till I get what Rambler promised, just two more chapters. ___

_Miroku: (Trying to make himself look particularly sexy) You know Sango, Rambler didn't say anything about us sharing the bed… ___

_Sango: (Throws a full trash bag at Miroku before walking off the set with another one.)___

_Miroku: (Heaves trash bag off of his head) I guess that was a 'maybe another time'…. (turns to readers) Anyhoo, dear readers, Rambler is moving to college in a week, and probably won't get time to write another chapter for another three weeks or so because of getting situated and figuring out her schedule.  She will try to get a chapter out as soon as she can, but packing is going to be really hard, especially since she is moving across the country.  Yes, this is yet another blatant appeal for sympathy, so don't kill her or injure her too badly for not updating for a month or so.  But she swears on a stack of Starbucks cards she will be back before this time September.  (Lies back down) That's all for now readers, see you next time! ( A sign once again appears behind Miroku, with a mongoose pointing at the reader that says "The Dreaded Mongoose Wants YOU to Review the Story). ___


	9. Skeletons in the Closet

_         Not much has changed on the Masterpiece Theater set, if you ignore the stacks of paper work everywhere that is.  The trumpets are no longer playing the standard theme, but are rather playing "Working 9 to 5", much to Sango's utter horror.  She tries to cover her ears and move the stacks of Spanish and Sociology homework away from her luxurious leather chair with her feet, but is quickly getting frustrated with her efforts at multi-tasking.  Miroku is taking advantage of the situation and getting a closer peak at her cleavage from behind the leather chair as she attempts to bend down and remove the piles of paper._

_Sango__: (Looks up, spots reader) OH MY GODS!!!!!!! _

_Miroku__: (His hands freeze just centimeters away from Sango's breast, looks around) What?_

_Sango__: (Gets out of her shock imposed stupor long enough to notice Miroku. Growls venemously)_

_SMACK. BANG. BOOM._

_Miroku__: (On the floor next to Sango's chair in a crumpled heap) Itai………_

_Sango__: (Returns to staring at the readers) I can't believe it! Rambler actually updated! _

_Miroku__: (Beginning to recuperate) Why yes she did! Amazing! (Smiles enthusiastically from his contorted, pained position on the floor) I really have missed you dear readers! I missed your comments, your good wishes, even the very sight of you… Especially naked… (Smiles wider)_

_Sango__: (Eyes narrow as she looks down at the monk in disgust)  Don't scare away the readers Miroku! You haven't seen any of them naked, and you never will._

_Miroku__: Sure I haven't  Sango, whatever you say.  Whatever helps you sleep at night. _

_Sango__: (Sputters angrily and indignation)_

_Miroku__: (Pouts up at her in as sexy a way as he can manage from his still mangled position on the floor) Don't be jealous, dear Sango! I only have eyes for you! _

_Sango__: (Mutters under her breath) And anything else capable of wearing a skirt… (Finding she can't look at him without twitching, she turns back to the reader) Rambler would like to apologize for taking so long.  She really was quite busy getting adjusted to college, and also had to start working tutoring children, so she really didn't have a lot of time this semester to write this. _

_Miroku__: In other words readers, Rambler is hoping the fact that she is teaching second graders to read will keep you from flaying her ass. _

_Sango__: But don't worry, she won't be giving up on this story.  She plans to see it through to the very end, even if she hasn't found a good personal secretary to help her manage her time._

_Miroku__: She still hasn't found a personal secretary? Hasn't she been looking for one for three years?_

_Sango__: Well, she wanted one for Christmas, but she thinks it is a long shot, because Santa can be a cheap bastard sometimes.  However she is sure the Easter Bunny will be willing to negotiate. _

_Miroku__: (Shrugs) If that fails she can always pull out her wisdom teeth and try the tooth fairy.  Anyhoo, here is Earl-san, with an important message from our writer. _

_Earl the Lawyer: (Drags himself on the stage in the mongoose costume looking very bitter, twitching violently from time to time.  He barely is able to keep his voice monotone as he speaks) The magnanimous, beauteous, munificent, adored Rambling Coffee Addict does not currently own Inu-Yasha or any of it's characters.  That does not mean she cannot still torture them in her demented, but still glorious, head.  (Takes a deep breath to calm himself, but still loses control) HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE?! YOU ACTUALLY SUPPORTED THE MONGOOSE THING!!! NOW SHE MIGHT HAVE ME IN A MONGOOSE OUTFIT FOR THE REST OF THE STORY!!! (Begins to sob) _

_Miroku__: (Puts a comforting hand on Earl's shoulder as he addresses the readers) Without further ado, here is the much too long awaited chapter 8!   
 _

**Chapter 8**

            "WhowasKikyoandwhathappenedtoher?"

            The towel dropped in front of Kagome with a soft thump.  Inu-Yasha felt himself go numb in shock as he gaped at the girl.  "Kikyo…?" He repeated, unsure of what had fallen from her lips.  The girl gave a shaky nod in response, curling into a ball as if she expected him to strike her.  

"She was…" He felt himself answering her before he had even known the words had escaped his mouth.  For a moment the girl perked up, her blue eyes twinkling hopefully in the dimness, but he couldn't do it.  "She's none of your damn business."  The growl came out a lot softer than he would have liked it to.  He couldn't just bare his soul because the bitch had had a nightmare, even if it had been a really terrifying one.  

_Her tormentor thrust himself into her once again, causing her to throw her head back in agony as he tore her again…_

_Where are you Inu-Yasha? _

_"So much weaker…"_

Kagome closed her eyes, feeling the tears threatening to fall. "It _is_ my business."  She whispered with forced vehemence.

"What the fuck would give you that idea?" The hanyou snorted. 

"Because she's in my dreams…"  Inu-Yasha's ears barely caught the haunted response.   **What in the hells…? **

Golden eyes pierced through her. "What kind of fucking sick joke-"

"A joke?!" She cried hysterically, "Did I seem like I was joking when I was screaming my head off?!   Don't you think I would have stopped you before you SLOBBERED all over me?!"  Screeching incredulously, Kagome waved her arms in the air as she spoke.  "I saw her! She was screaming, and bleeding, and there was this glowing pink ball…. And she looked exactly like me!" Suddenly it became hard to speak as she stared into his tortured amber eyes.  The girl's long ebony hair, tousled and worn, was still so similar to her own.  She had the same fair skin, nose, even lips…  "How could you not have told me... she's exactly like me?"

All she got in response was his tortured eyes slowly turning from her own.  Inu-Yasha abruptly fled the bed, walking toward the bathroom.  Kagome collapsed into a heap, her head sinking against the futon as she fought the sobs rising in her throat.  All sound was being drowned in the whirl of confusion in her head, yet somehow she still managed to hear his voice. 

"Kikyo was my fiancée." Inu-Yasha spoke in a quiet, gruff voice from the other side of the room, his head softly thumping into the wall next to the bathroom every now and again.  "I met her two and a half years ago, while trying to claim something in her possession."  

Kagome continued to stare straight ahead even though she was listening.  "You were trying to steal something from her?" She surmised.

 "Well it's not like the Shikon no Tama was hers to begin with." He defended, still banging his head into the wall every five seconds.  Why was he telling her this?  How could she have known about what Kikyo looked like?  

"Shikon no wha…?"

"Shikon no Tama.  It can grant people's wishes, and give it's possessor a hell of a lot of power. I wanted to use it to become a full demon."

"Why?" 

"Because being a hanyou fucking sucks, okay!" He snapped as his head pounded into the wall again.  "You're not a demon, you're not a human, you're just a fucking half-breed that everyone looks at like garbage." 

Kagome sat up as he spoke, eying him sympathetically.  "You're not a half-breed, you're Inu-Yasha."

His eyes closed as he took in the innocent simplicity of her statement.  "Not to them.  You wouldn't understand."

"Inu-Yasha, I think you're a violent, insensitive, stubborn, egotistical, barbaric ass, but I have never, ever, thought of you as a half-breed." 

His cheeks flushed slightly at the warmth in her voice.  "Yeah, well..." He shook his head fervently and banged it into the wall yet again, ridding himself of the fuzzy feelings she was beginning to induce. "What the hell am I saying?! That isn't the point!"

"What is the point?" 

 "That I met Kikyo trying to get the Tama!"

"Oh." 

His head settled against the wall as he remembered his fiancée, her face soft and wistful in his mind.  "Kikyo was the miko who protected the jewel, and killed any demons trying to steal it.  But for some strange reason she didn't kill me, just nailed me to a tree a few hundred times."

"Why?"

"She said something about us being alike or something…" Annoyed, he turned his head in her direction, "Why do you always ask "why" wench?" 

Kagome blinked innocently, "Why do you ask that?" 

Inu-Yasha muttered something about "fucking smart ass bitches" not knowing their place before continuing. "Anyway, I started to follow her, just to see what she was like. She seemed so happy and content with others, yet alone…" His eyes clouded over as he stared at the wall. "One time she started talking to me, and the next thing you know we were nearly inseparable… except when she was around anyone, of course.  I really hated being around humans."

"I beg your pardon! I'M-" 

"Shut up and let me finish, bitch. The only ones who knew about us were Kaede, Kikyo's teacher and mentor, and my folks.  We became engaged about a year and a half ago.  I was going to become a human using the Tama, and she was going to give up her miko status once the Tama disappeared."

"You two were really willing to make sacrifices for each other." Kagome observed.

"It wasn't a sacrifice if I never had to be without her again, if I never had to be alone again." The tremor in his voice was audible as he sighed.  "A year ago, when I came to her village to see her, I found Kaede crying in her hut, clutching a part of Kikyo's torn kimono.  The scent of her blood was all over the place.  Both she and the Shikon no Tama were gone without a trace.  I tried to look for her, but Kaede said no one could have survived losing so much blood, and my asshole father believed her." His voice grew venomous. "After six months of waiting for some sign, everyone fucking gave up on her.  My family, Kaede, and that whole fucking village of hers.  I was the only one who gave a damn.  But just because I didn't give up didn't stop my fucking father from planning to disinherit me if I didn't get married. "

"I'm so sorry." Hot tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Don't be sorry,"  Inu-Yasha answered bitterly, his head slumped against the wall. "It's not like it matters anyway." 

"It matters to you." 

            "Keh… Like that ever meant anything to anyone." 

            "It means something to _me_…"

He shut his eyes, trying to block out her sincerity.  **She has to stop saying things like that.   "Anyway, now you know what happened." Turning back towards her, he schooled his features into a look of impatience. "Can I fucking go to bed now, wench?" **

Kagome tried to roll her eyes in response, only to fail as the tears kept streaming.  "Yeah, I guess…"

Inu-Yasha groaned loudly as he made his way over to the futon "You're still crying?! Why the hell are you still crying?!" Leaping onto the futon, he landed mere inches from Kagome, staring her hard in the face with a sour expression.

A strange and unbidden part of her wanted to hug the daylights out of him and tell him that it would all be alright.  But that part was aptly named 'strange and unbidden' and ignored as such.  Scowling in return, Kagome replied sulkily, "Look bastard, I can cry all I want!" 

"Not when your tears are stinking up my room!" He griped, although that had nothing to do with why he wanted her to stop her crying.

Sniffling, her blue eyes turned to his meekly, "My tears stink?" 

Inu-Yasha tried his best not to blink in amazement at the innocence of her gaze. "Well no…" **Wait a minute, what the hell am I saying?** "The saltiness just overwhelms my nose." That was better, but still not nearly as hostile as he was going for . 

"Oh." She began to wipe her tears off with the sheet, but his hand grabbed hers quickly.

Groaning, Inu-Yasha exclaimed.  "Good thinking bitch, make the sheets all salty as well!" 

"Oh, and I suppose you have a better suggestion?" 

His night shirt slid off of his shoulders and on to the bed, before Inu-Yasha began to dry her tears with it.  Kagome stared at him in response, caught somewhere between awe and muted horror.  She couldn't take her eyes off his lean muscular frame as he wiped her cheeks and chin.   Her cheeks went a deep red as she became hypnotized by the movements of his chest muscles as he breathed.  **Stop it you hentai!**  She screamed at herself, forcing her eyes toward the wall. "Um thanks…" 

"No problem," He said casually, throwing the shirt to the far end of the room.  "I'll just have the thing thrown out in the morning." 

The fairytale moment had ended, and the harsh reality that was Inu-Yasha hit Kagome like a stone wall.  It was definitely time to go to bed.  Turning away from him, Kagome nestled down into the futon, taking as many of the blankets as she could to be smug.  "Good night, asshole." She spoke briskly before closing her eyes.

Inu-Yasha stole back the covers, and took a bit extra for good measure. He didn't really need them, he never got cold, but someone had to put the bitch in her place.  "Don't wake me up with anymore nightmares, wench." 

**Is that his way of saying "Sweet dreams"? Kagome wondered idly as she felt herself slip into unconsciousness.   **

            Normally, Kagome was very much a morning person.  She usually woke with the sun; cheerfully bouncing about, trying to harmonize with the birds' chirps as she hummed.   

But for some reason the mornings just kept getting harder and harder in the past few days.  If only they could just come later, or if the night could just last a few hours longer, but _no_, morning couldn't give the overtired girl a break.  Morning had to be a rather prompt and insistent bitch, nagging and pulling at her with bright light and loud obnoxious animal noises.  **Did I just think of morning as a bitch?  I've been spending way too much time around Inu-Yasha.  **

            Yawning and stretching, she turned to find said dog demon once again gone, a creased pillow and rumpled sheets in his place.  She was tempted to get up at an ungodly hour in the morning just to be the one to leave him confused and alone in bed.  Although there was technically nothing between them, Kagome felt somewhat jilted by waking up alone.  Something about it just seemed so rude.  

Angrily railing against him in her head, she rolled over, plopping her head against his pillow.  **So warm…****  She nearly drowned in the body heat left on his pillow.  It was so comforting, almost as if he were embracing her, his pungent scent of earth and musk embedded in the sheets.  A delicious exhaustion once again began to seduce her senses, coaxing her to close her eyes and snuggle in…**

"I thought you would be up by now bitch." A careless voice called as the door was violently shoved open.  Kagome jumped from the pillow, nearly throwing it across the room in her effort to get away.   Inu-Yasha did not take notice of her shock, busy with trying to balance two trays and close the door with his foot.  

Trying to calm herself, Kagome combed her knotted hair with her fingers, trying to look as dignified as possible.  "Where did you go this morning?"

Simply snorting, Inu-Yasha didn't look up from his effort to close the door with his foot.  "What does it look like wench? I went to get you some breakfast, since you insisted that it be served to you in bed!"  Inu-Yasha growled in consternation; why wasn't this working?  He had the agility to fight off multiple opponents at once, yet he couldn't shut the damn door without making the trays of food wobble.  He shouldn't really care anyway, its not like he was going to make a life out of serving wenches breakfast, but it was the principle of the matter.  

Kagome watched his struggle with vague amusement, before the more altruistic side of her took over and she stepped forward.  "Let me get one of those for you." She said as she smoothed her sleeping kimono to cover her more fully. 

Instinctively, Inu-Yasha pulled away, causing the plates tremble and slide on the trays. "Fuck no woman! I can handle this on my own!"

"But you are going to break something!" She reached to take a tray out of his right hand.  

Holding the tray high over her head, he retorted, "I'm capable of holding two trays without breaking anything!"

 "Why are you being so stubborn?!" She hissed through her teeth, hopping in an effort to reach the tray.  

"Why are you so bitchy?!" Inu-Yasha snapped back in what he thought was an imitation of her voice, but sounded more like a dying cat in reality.

"Stop being such a prick and LET ME BE NICE!" Jumping as high as she could, she managed to catch the tray, and land on her feet.  Inu-Yasha was not so lucky.  The other tray slipped from his hand, causing the tray and its contents to land with a resounding thud on his foot.  The dishes clattered on the floor, smashing against the stone.  

Biting his tongue to keep from crying out in pain, Inu-Yasha looked from the now broken dishes and ruined food, to Kagome. "Oh yeah, that was real nice of you."

Mornings were _really beginning to suck for her. _

"Well," A smooth voice sighed from behind the irritated hanyou. "At least she managed to save one of the trays.  Buddha knows what would have happened if you had had both."  Miroku was nonchalantly leaning in the doorway, staff resting against his shoulder.

Slitted golden eyes glared back at the monk's relaxed expression.  "What are you doing here monk?" 

"I heard yelling coming from your room." He said with a slight smirk. "I thought something interesting might be happening, and I didn't want to miss out." 

"Fucking voyeur…" Inu-Yasha mumbled as stooped down to pick up the dishes.

"Inu-Yasha! Surely you don't believe that I came merely for that ungodly reason?!"  Miroku gasped, his eyes widening in dismay.

"Of course he doesn't, Miroku-sama," Kagome answered for Inu-Yasha.  "You also came for my skimpy sleeping kimono." 

Letting out a tortured sigh, Miroku turned his eyes heavenward. "Why does no one take me seriously as servant of Buddha?" His eyes dipped slightly as he added sultrily, "And why do you keep tempting me, Kagome-sama?" Throwing his hands up, he rushed to her side, gathering her hands in his own.  "Oh, but I give in! You are far too much for me!  The offer of bearing my child still stands."

Both Kagome and Miroku ducked as pieces of broken plate were hurled at the monk's  head. "Back the fuck off bouzo!" Inu-Yasha growled out.  

Miroku arched a dark eyebrow. "Why Inu-Yasha, I didn't realize you were so protective of your dear wife…  If you didn't want to share you could have just said so." 

Stuttering a few times, Inu-Yasha stared at Miroku in muted horror.  "That's not what…. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!" 

"I would watch what I were doing if I were you, Inu-Yasha," Miroku smirked amusedly at the hanyou, "Wouldn't want to drop the other tray and ruin breakfast entirely now, would we?"

"I knew the idiot would mess it up." A high pitched, childish voiced stated knowingly.  Shippo stood in the doorway, balancing a tray precariously on his head.  

Holding the one tray in his hands and some broken dishes in his other, Inu-Yasha turned furiously. "What the fuck-"

"Careful Inu-Yasha." Miroku warned, eying the shaky cups and bowls on the tray.  

"Maybe you should let me help…." Kagome suggested.

Inu-Yasha responded with a dry look.

Kagome shrugged carelessly, "Fine, have it your way." Skipping over to Shippo, she took the tray from the small fox.  "Shippo-chan! How _sweet of you to think of me! You're __so wonderful!" She gushed, embracing the child once she had set breakfast down on the futon.  _

"What!?" Inu-Yasha cried, throwing the other tray down on the ground in frustration.  "I bring you breakfast in bed, and you break the dishes and yell at me, and yet you practically smother the brat with affection!? What the fuck!?" 

Eyes closed, Miroku sighed tiredly. "I knew that other tray wasn't going to last long.  Inu-Yasha always gets so violent when he goes into a jealous rage."  

"No," Shippo contradicted with a frown, "He's just always violent."

"I AM NOT FUCKING JEALOUS!" 

"Of course not, Inu-Yasha," Kagome soothed as she sat down to eat "Shippo is right, you are just violent and pissy." 

"I AM NOT PISSY!" 

"Of course not, Inu-Yasha," She once again reassured him, even though her mind was really on her food "You are naturally a bastard.  It isn't something to be a shamed of."  
             "I'M NOT A FUCKING BASTARD!"

"Of course not, Inu-Yasha." She said again, with the same level of patience and understanding in her voice.  "You were just raised to be an asshole." 

"I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE, BITCH!"

She looked up from her rice seriously, "Okay, now you're just being argumentative."

"What?!" He asked, completely dumbfounded by the turn the argument had taken.  **Wait a minute, what were we arguing about again? **

 Picking up her tray, Kagome soberly headed for the door.  "I can't eat around you when you're like this, it makes my stomach queasy." With that she exited the room, moving slow enough for Shippo catch up with her. 

Inu-Yasha couldn't seem to get his mouth to close; it just stayed completely slack as if it had a mind of its own. "What in the hells just happened?!" 

"I think the honeymoon is over." Miroku commented, idly rubbing his chin with his thumb. 

Inu-Yasha looked down at the broken dishes and spilt food at his feet. "We had a honeymoon?"

            Faster.  The forests tranquility was thrown into chaos as a howling gust of wind swept like a cyclone through the trees.   Birds fluttered off in a panic, not a single animal stood in the path of the demonic tornado.  Trees nearly bent at the sheer force of the gales as it past by.  **Damn it, I have to move faster! Kouga thought furiously as he concentrated on his path. **

            It couldn't be true.  That Hollow brat had to be wrong.  He had to be; his woman would never betray him like this.  Something twisted inside of him, as if thorny branches were squeezing his lungs and heart.  

            She had known she was his.  He had made it exceedingly clear that he would officially take her as his mate.  Sure he hadn't actually marked her yet, or taken her to his den, but he had assumed she wanted more time.   He wanted her to go willingly, plus there were still a few other matters he had to handle first…  His left eye twitched as he remembered the red haired wolf demon that he was betrothed to.  It wasn't like she was even an issue, Kagome didn't know about her.   

             _Or had she? If one of my fucking men told her I swear… No, they wouldn't have messed with his woman; they were always very respectful of his property.  Each of them had treated Kagome with as much respect and care as one should treat the future mate of the pack leader, if not more so.  She was revered and worshipped like the goddess she was.  **Then why the fuck did she get hitched?! **_

**              Kouga let out a fierce growl as he continued to barrel toward his new most hated enemy's home.  Cerulean eyes glossing over in grim determination, he made a silent vow.  Whoever this Inu-kuro guy was he was as good as slaughtered.  No one fucked around with his possessions.  Kagome would be returned to him, if he had to massacre the entire castle to get her back. **

              The wolf demon was so caught up in his revelry that he failed to look out for the arrow that whizzed past his head. Startled, he tripped, before gracefully doing a front roll to stand up again.  

               He was almost about to go find the son of a bitch who had shot the arrow when the voice that had been on his brain called out apologetically "I'm SO sorry! I totally didn't see you there!"   His eyes widened in surprise momentarily**.  Kagome….   **The girl stood about thirty feet away, wearing the white and red gi and holding a bow**.   **

              "Jeez bitch, can't you aim at all?" A sarcastic voice called from behind his woman, causing Kouga's eyes to once again narrow in fury.  It was him; the figure was practically dripping in the stench of dog. 

               "Well maybe if you hadn't been distracting me with your incessant whining about Shippo I wouldn't have missed!" She retorted, before running towards him, concerned she had actually hurt him.  **She doesn't recognize me yet…**

**               He stood transfixed as his woman (**can I even call her that anymore?**) bounced over to him.   But Kouga wasn't prepared to deal with Kagome, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to deal with her at all at the moment.  What would he say? He couldn't smile or romance her.  Kouga had never been good at pretending.  The hurt and betrayal in his eyes would give him away; he couldn't let her see how deeply she had wounded him.  He would not cry, submit, or beg to his woman, his woman would submit to him.  She would, in time, be on her hands and knees, begging him to take her back, tears streaming from bright blue-gray eyes lined with red.  For now however, Kouga had nothing to say. Speeding past the girl, he immediately aimed for the dog-demon.  That was the person he could deal with.   **

               The hanyou reacted instantly, jumping out of the way as Kouga thrashed out violently with his claws.  Eyes narrowing, he looked up at his attacker with an almost curious expression.  Inu-Yasha was used to being attacked, heck he expected it, but he had never been attacked by a wolf demon before.  They lived on the outskirts of the Western Lands, far away from his father.  Wolf demons seldom made a fuss as long as they were kept under the illusion that they had some say in what happened to the mountains they lived in.  "What the fuck?!" He exclaimed, tensing up into a defensive position.   

            **Well, what good is killing the Inu-kuro if I don't tell him what he dying for? The wolf demon thought charitably.  Kouga did not consider himself to be thoughtless; he was at least willing to let the bastard think about his crimes in hell.  "You stole my woman dog-shit!" He announced darkly to the very pissed; and very confused hanyou.  "I will be taking her back now, along with your life."  Kouga couldn't help but smirk wryly; he had never thought of himself as being so good with words.  **

             "Kouga-kun?!" Kagome called in astonishment, racing back towards the two demons.  

              The Inu-kuro looked up angrily at Kagome, his voice grumbling as he spoke "Kouga-_kun_?! Who the fuck is this guy, bitch?!" 

               Kouga nodded to himself, that bitch comment was going to cost him his left eye.  The turd was already going to lose balls and all of his limbs, but now the eye was going to have to go to.  "I am Kagome's rightful fiancée!" He declared in a voice he hoped would cause the lesser demon to tremble before him.

              Unfortunately Inu-Yasha had no such response.  Rolling his eyes, he turned toward Kagome once again in exasperation. "Another one?  How many fucking fiancées _do you have?  You know, wasting my energy with these pricks isn't my idea of a good time you know."_

              "My, my, Kagome-sama, you get around even more than I do!" A deep voice coming from Kouga's right said appreciatively.  "Maybe I should ask you for tips after this is over."  Why hadn't he noticed the monk there before? 

               Kagome was now very flustered.  "Kouga-kun, what are you doing here?" She asked, trying to ignore all other comments.

               Kouga was hells bent on ignoring her however.  "Prepare to die, Inu-kuro." His fangs gleamed as he crouched, readying himself to attack.

                Another arrow flew by his head.   He stilled, for a moment he feared it was her, turning wounded cerulean eyes in the direction of the arrow.  He was almost relieved to see an old, frumpy woman glaring seriously at him.  Her red and white miko outfit was similar to Kagome's, giving Kouga the chilling thought that his woman might actually look like that when she grew old.  He couldn't help but shiver involuntarily in disgust. 

             Kaede raised an eyebrow at the wolf demon's reaction, but remained composed, coal eyes steely as she stared the demon down.  Her bow grew even more taut as she spoke.  "Before you kill the baka no baka, can someone please explain to me what is going on? From the beginning this time, if you would be so kind."

             "As far as I can tell Kaede," Miroku mused, his fingers contemplatively stroking his sharp chin, "Kagome was bestowing some kind of …. favors," His lips formed a slightly delightedly lecherous smile, "And making promises to bear Kouga's children before she married Inu-Yasha.  Kouga has come to get the mother of his future children back… and pulverize Inu-Yasha of course."  He tsked dramatically, closing his eyes in solemn regret. "I tried to save her soul, really I did, but she wouldn't listen to the servant of Buddha." 

            Kagome balled her hands into tight fists until her knuckles were almost pure white, trying to keep herself from tearing the monk apart limb from limb.  "I made no such promise!"

            Miroku's eyes opened widely in excitement, "So you just slept with him?" He sighed sadly, "Why can't more women be like you?" 

           "I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH KOUGA! HE'S NOT MY FIANCEE!!" Kagome screeched as she beat him over the head with her bow and arrows.

            Kaede eyed both of them impassively, ignoring her internal wish to get far away from these freaks as humanly possible.  She really was too old to be putting up with these antics.  With a long suffering sigh, she said "Well, Kagome, I really think you should make sure Kouga and Inu-Yusha know that."                        

             Looking up from strangling Miroku with her bow, Kagome asked "Why do you say that?" 

             "Because they're killing each other over there." 

             Sure enough;  Kouga and Inu-Yasha were thrashing at each other wildly.  Their blows had barely missed so far, but Kagome feared this trend would not continue.  Barrage after barrage of punches were traded back and forth.   Kouga leaped to avoid Inu-Yasha's leg sweeping under him, only to find claws ripping across his chest. 

              Smirking at Kouga's startled gasp of pain, Inu-Yasha sprang back into an eager crouch.  The blood began to seep through the fur on the lower abdomen of his outfit as he huffed and tried to regain his breath.  Seething, Kouga growled.  "You'll pay for that,  dog breath." 

               "Keh." Inu-Yasha shrugged, unimpressed. "You're all talk, wolf".  

              Kouga just smiled sardonically, ignoring his pain as he drove his fist into the grassy ground.  The earth trembled in response, cracks forming and breaking the forest floor. Inu-Yasha wobbled from the vibrations, desperately trying to hold onto his balance.  Wasting no time, Kouga leapt forward, digging his fist into Inu-Yasha's shoulder.  Hissing at the soreness, Inu-Yasha lunged back, only to be met with Kouga's foot as the wolf aimed a spin kick into his back.  Falling forward,  Inu-Yasha grimaced as his chin hit the dirt.  

               "Kouga!" Kagome gasped, worry outweighing the surprise in her voice.  "What have you done?!" 

              Growling, he turned sharply toward her, his fierce blue eyes leaving no room for argument.  "I'm not done, Kagome" He snarled harshly, "When I finish him off, we'll talk." Pausing for a moment, he added, "On the way home." 

              "What are you talking about?! I'm not going anywhere!" She said resolutely, moving toward Inu-Yasha before a strong hand stopped her. 

              "Move aside please, Kagome-sama", Miroku commanded in a low voice, fingering the porcelain beads on his right hand.  Prussian blue eyes stared solemnly at the wolf.  "The lady has spoken, please move away before I have to physically remove you from this realm entirely." Kouga seemed apathetic looking at the beaded hand with almost amused curiosity.  His eyes suddenly widened as he felt something unexpected.  

              "Back the fuck off monk, the wolf is mine." Inu-Yasha announced as he gripped the wolf's tail and yanked Kouga backward causing the wolf demon to fall on his stomach.   Jumping back on his feet, he began to twist his foot into Kouga's head, balancing his other leg on Kouga's back. 

              Twist.  "That's for the blows."

              "Inu-Yasha… Kagome called uncertainly, not really wanting to see her childhood friend get his head smashed in.

             Twist. "That's for just busting in here and calling me Inu-kuro." 

             "Umm…" Kagome tried again, seeing dirt enter Kouga's mouth as his face was smushed against the grass and soil.  " I really think that is enough now, Inu-Yasha."

             Twist.  Twist.  "That's for trying to just haul my….." There was a slight hesitation in Inu-Yasha's ass kicking while he tried to come up with the right term for Kagome.  **I'll be damned before I say wife**.  "For trying to take my ball and chain without asking or at least warning me."   

             "Inu-Yasha!" Kagome shouted louder, her cheeks warming at the idea that she had cause Inu-Yasha to enter this testosterone fest, no matter how stupid she thought it was.  **Is he really doing all of this for me?**      

             Twist.  "I mean, if had just asked nicely I might have given her to you." Twist. Kagome twitched somewhere behind him. "Or at least given me enough warning so I could have Shippo haul her stuff out of my room.  It's not like I want the bitch around." Twist.  

             "INU-YASHA!" 

            Twist.  "That was just because it's a Tuesday."

            "Inu-Yasha," Kaede bellowed, tired of watching Kagome turn purple, even though Miroku seemed to find it a turn on, "Stop or I will tell Kagome what happens when someone touches you're ears." 

            The hanyou went very pale before turning a bright scarlet.  Kagome's eyes brightened as she turned her attention momentarily from Kouga to Kaede.  "What happens Kaede-baa chan?" She asked eagerly, her eyes still shining with gleeful attention.

            Within the flash of a second Inu-Yasha was in front of Kaede, glaring at her as sinisterly as he could with flushed cheeks. "You wouldn't." His voiced rumbled, but Kaede could hear the underlying plea. 

            "Don't be so sure, Inu-Yasha." She stated calmly, her coal eyes beginning to sparkle mischievously.

            "But I keep all the demons away from your shrine!" He whined, "And I don't even charge you!" He knew he should have made the old hag pay up for his services, she wasn't even that grateful.  

            Kaede gave him a dry look. "We both know you do that for _her."  She instantly regretted her comment when his golden eyes dulled dropped downward.  The hurt was still too fresh.  Sighing slightly, Kaede gave in. "Fine, I won't tell her." _

            Instantly Inu-Yasha snorted in triumph; the tender spot she had prodded once again locked away, "Hear that Kagome? You are NEVER going to-" Jaw dropping when as soon as he whirled around, almost not believing the sight before him. 

             Kagome was kneeling next to the injured Kouga, eyes soft with worry.  Cooing over his wounds (**oh common, it's not like I killed the guy!), she tried to help the wolf demon to her feet. Inu-Yasha just stood there blinking for a moment, unable to comprehend what the hell was going through the wench's mind.  ****He's a demon for fuck's sake! He can take care of his damn self! WHY THE FUCK IS SHE HELPING HIM!?  "Are you okay Kouga-kun?" She asked gently.  There it was again, that Kouga-kun thing.  ****Who the fuck is this bastard?**

**            Kouga really tried not to look at her, he really did.  He didn't want her to see.  She would think him weak if she knew what she was able to do him.  The man was supposed to be in charge, he was supposed to lead and the woman was supposed to follow.  But then how had she ended up here?  His eyes accidentally found hers, warm, gentle, and slightly worried.  And suddenly he couldn't help but clasp her hands in his like he always used to, drawing both of them up so he could stare down into the depths of her stormy blue eyes.  "I'll get you back." He said fiercely.  Those were the first words he had spoken to her face since he had found out she was someone else's… ****No, she is mine, she was always mine…. Right?   **

            He held the intense gaze for a long while, trying to find something in those stormy blue gray depths, blocking out the angry mutterings of the hanyou, the lecherous comments of the monk, and the chiding of the miko. And then he left in a gust of wind, not really even sure if he found what he was looking for.    

            Standing there in a daze, Kagome tried to wrap her brain around what had just happened.  "But he always runs off…" She muttered to herself, unable to comprehend why the wolf demon would be so upset that she was married.  She had thought she was just another flirtation.  He always went off with his friends after declaring his eternal devotion to her, he never stuck around, never really made an effort to become part of her life.  

           Maybe I'm just blind.  This was the second person who had barged in and declared that they were the ones who were supposed to be her husband.  And here she thought she never really left much of an impression with men.  Okay, well in all truthfulness, she had known that Hojo kissed the ground she walked on, but she thought it was just a childhood crush he had yet to get over.  She had suspected that Kouga, might feel _something for her, but she had never really paid much attention to it.  _

          A prod to her shoulder snapped her out of her revelry.  "Ahem." Inu-Yasha stood in front of her, looking extraordinarily cranky, and suspicious. "Who the fuck's ass did I just kick?" The hanyou griped, barely able to keep from shouting. 

         "Oh, he was just a friend."  She spoke casually, eyes still distant.

         Inu-Yasha twitched. "Friend?"

         "Uh-huh."  Nodding, Kagome went to pick up her bow and arrow.  

         He swore he had never twitched so much in his life before he met this girl.  "Friends usually don't usually barge in and start trying to kill their friend's….." Oh, there was one of those words again, "er…… um…. Friend that there with." Well, the sentence didn't make much sense, but he didn't have to say the "h" word.  

        Sighing deeply, Kagome turned to face the hanyou, eyes bewildered and tired. "Look, Inu-Yasha, he was a friend of mine from my village. He always used to protect me when any of the village boys tried to bully me, and helped me get places when I was running late.  After he helped me out in some way or another, he would run off to gods know where and I wouldn't see him for several weeks.  That is all. There was nothing between us.  Yes, he did call me his "woman", but I thought he was kidding." Her voice got very small. "I didn't know he was serious." 

        "How the fuck could you _not know?!"   Inu-Yasha was suddenly silenced as a staff landed on his head with a dull thud._

        Miroku's eyes were closed as he paced the two, looking the part of the sage as he headed back toward the castle.  "She didn't know, you baka. Leave it alone, or we'll miss dinner."  

        Spotting the hesitation in the hanyou's eyes, Kaede began to push him back toward the castle.  "Let it go, boy, let it go.  The wolf ran off with his tail between his legs anyway." 

        "Keh." Inu-Yasha responded, shrugging her hands off him as he let the old goat have her way.  Why did everyone always defend the wench? Since when had he become the bad guy?   He glared sullenly at Kagome, "This isn't over, bitch." 

         Kagome didn't look up at him, quietly walking ahead of him and Kaede to meet up with Miroku.  The dog demon barely caught the words she muttered to herself, "I know, believe me, I know…."             

_       The Masterpiece Theater set is still covered in Rambler's homework.  Earl the Lawyer is huddled in corner quietly weeping to himself as he scratched at the mongoose costume every once and awhile.  Miroku is sitting in his chair peacefully, while Sango has returned to covering her ears to avoid the tune of "Working 9 to 5" the trumpets are still playing. _

_Miroku__: (Smiles peacefully) Well, I hope that was worth the wait, dear readers!_

_Sango__: (Grumbles irritably) It wasn't.  (Lightning strikes close to her head) _

_Miroku__: (Tsks at her and shakes his head) I thought  you had learned not to insult fanfic writers. _

_Sango__: (Pouts) She still hasn't put me in the story. _

_Miroku__:  (Smiles at her) Maybe this will cheer you up. I have some good news and some bad news. _

_Sango__: What's the bad news? _

_Miroku__: You won't be in the story for two or three chapters. _

_Sango__: (Sulks a little) What is the good news?_

_Miroku__: (Suddenly very giddy) I get to write the next chapter since there is going to be citrus! (Clasps his hands together in anticipation)_

_Sango__: (Blinks) No, seriously, what is the good news?_

_Miroku__: (His smile gets wider and more insidious) That IS the good news Sango! Aren't you THRILLED???!!!_

_Sango__: (Suddenly panics, realizing the sheer horror of the situation) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_Miroku__: (Speaks as he is still laughing malevolently) Don't forget to review readers!  _

_        Lightning strikes as Miroku continues to laugh, Sango continues to scream, and Earl the Lawyer continues to sob._


	10. Uphill Battles

__

The Masterpiece Theater set looks more like a cemetery than the library it was supposed to be in the beginning. It seems barren except for a few tombs and the comfy leather chairs, which have changed from their rusty color to a deep black. Lightning strikes in the background, thunder crashes, and REM's "It's the End of the World as We Know it" blares in the background. The fire place is still crackling pleasantly though, even if it is out of place in this horror scene. 

Sango: (Crash helmet firmly in place atop her head, sucking her thumb) Here we go again… Why does she let Miroku write the citrus? (turns her eyes upward) HOW COULD THE GODS ALLOW SOMETHING SO TERRIBLY WRONG!?  
Miroku: (Calmly sits in front of a white computer, looking incredibly peaceful at the moment) Because Sango, I am the SHIT. (Cackles evilly to himself and goes back to typing).

Sango: (Shakes her head in disapproval) Well, maybe it won't be that bad… I mean, what trouble can the houshi get into in one little chapter?

Miroku: (Rubs his chin thoughtfully) Hmm…The Real Rose Gamgee said something about belts… (Grins lecherously)

Sango: (Huge sweat drop) We're DOOMED!!! 

Earl the Lawyer: (Leaps onto the stage smiling gallantly, wearing a blue cape. He has a huge lemon crossed out on his chest) Never fear! Earl the Anti-Hentai Man is here!

Sango: (Blinks) Wha…?

Earl the Lawyer: You didn't think that she would just let Miroku run amuck did you? Okay, so she wanted to, putting a leash on him takes time and all, but she had to keep this at a strong R, so she made me Anti-Hentai Man to keep him in line. 

Miroku: (Glares at Earl the Lawyer) You are no match for the power of my lechery. I can take you down with a single grope.

Earl the Lawyer: (Smirks) Ah, but I am armed with a gigantic stack of Ramblers rules! (Produces a huge stack of paper written in very small print and places it on top of the computer) 

Miroku: (Screams in agony) NOOOOO!!!!!!!! Anything but those rules again! 

Earl the Lawyer: (Nods righteously) Yes, evil hentai. And there are MORE this time. (Miroku sobs pitifully as he takes a look at rules 1 through 99) In any case, now on to comments from the all-powerful Rambler. No, apparently supreme greatness and grace aren't enough reasons to give Rambling Coffee Addict rights to Inu-Yasha, they insist she have money as well. But she will triumph someday… She would also like to thank you for not flaying her magnificent ass, and say she would have had this out sooner if her computer was not evil incarnate. She would also like to congratulate squeakinuears on getting the Longest Review Thus Far award, trust me, she doesn't mind ranting, that is what she does on a daily basis. As for myself, thank you all who appealed to Rambler to get rid of the damn mongoose outfit. 

Miroku: (Sobs as he reads rules 100 throu 199) I will have my revenge!

Earl the Lawyer: (Rolls eyes and strikes justice pose) Whatever. Now, on with the story! 

****

Chapter 9

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Uphill Battles

Kusou kusou, kusou. KUSOU. They hadn't mated. Taisho fought down the moan of frustration that was erupting in his throat as his eyes bore into the newly wed couple's skulls. Once again they were sulking stone sculptures of misery he wanted to crush with his bare hands. Both sat rigidly, eyes down on the bowl of soup in front of them, one hand clutching the spoon dipping into the bowl for dear life, but never moving the spoon toward their mouths. Why gods? Why? What the hells was wrong with these two? They should have been going at it like bunnies last night damn it! He had _ordered_ them to. 

The worst part was they had to go and get his hopes up. He was startled out of sleep in the middle of the night by high pitched screaming, and leaped in the pure ecstasy of triumph from his bed. In a flash he was down to their room to confirm what his ears had so joyfully been informed of. Hope was a cruel bitch, the girl had just had a nightmare. Of all the rotten luck. 

Did his _darling_ son make the most of the situation, comforting his woman like any proper mate should? No, he apparently spit on her, yelled at her, and then they had some type of conversation before he insulted her again and went to sleep. Taisho had to grind his teeth into his tongue to keep himself from cursing and alerting his son to his presence. By the time they had finally fallen asleep his tongue was nearly completely severed; it still had yet to heal fully as he struggled to eat dinner without causing himself too much pain. 

Some Lord of the Western Lands; he nearly bit his own tongue off in an attempt to keep from being discovered spying on his own son. Worse yet, because of his temporary injury, he couldn't speak without sounding like a dying walrus ("Taeeeoooo ear, ou ou e me aw?"), virtually incomprehensible until his tongue healed enough. Taisho was far too proud to speak to his wife, son, and his son's wife and friend sounding like some struggling toddler however. He found it much more dignified to hold up signs, and write out messages on scrolls instead. Yes, holding up a sign saying please "Pass the salt" was much less ridiculous indeed. 

Unfortunately there was one slight problem with his plan to get his much needed salt: holding up a sign required that the person had to be aware and looking around enough to notice said sign. As luck would have it, the salt was in front of Inu-Yasha, and Inu-Yasha was sulking and staring at the damnable soup. The only thing Inu-Yasha noticed when he sulked was that 'life sucks and I don't deserve this shit'. 

Taisho vainly waved his sign flamboyantly in the air, trying to get his son's attention, but his son's dull gold eyes remained fixed on the soup. What the hell was so interesting about it? With a small whine in the back of his throat, he turned to his wife with pleading eyes. Her mind was also off somewhere, but it came back as the whine became louder and more shrill. At least somebody cared. 

Takiko looked at his sign with a confused expression, before turning her head toward their son. Her eyes quickly shifted to understanding as a small frown tugged her lips. Sighing deeply, Takiko reached shakily across the large table to get the salt. Taisho sighed as he lowered his sign and watched his wife's efforts. His food was going to get cold by the time he got the salt.

Kikyo. That damned miko was to blame. She was to blame for all cold soups and all cold glares his son had given him. She had ruined his son were her mysteriousness, quiet, longing gazes and willowy looks. She had somehow managed to convince his rather gullible son she was the only wench on the planet. Then, just as he became almost religiously devoted to the insidious doctrine, she had to go and get herself killed, leaving his son still clutching to his faith. He couldn't help but feel jealous of the miko in some respect. That woman had gotten the best of his son, and all he had gotten was his shattered heart after the woman's death. She had gotten the side of his son Taisho always prayed to see, and she took it to the grave with her. Taisho would never forgive her for that.

Being completely truthful with himself, Taisho couldn't blame his son's reluctance to engage in any kind of contact with any kind of female of any kind of species (with the lone exception of his mother) on the miko. No, it wasn't Kikyo's fault, because Sesshomaru was the exact same way. As much as the two would loath Taisho to mention that they had anything in common, the two practically ignored women. Taisho had never even spotted Sesshomaru with any female but a maid, and that was to bite her head off about her washing skills. He originally had attributed the problem to his eldest son liking other men, but he had quite recently made it excruciatingly clear that was not the case. Although Taisho was not completely convinced (Why else would he keep Jaken around for gods sake? Although that thought chilled him to the core.), it was entirely possible that his son did in fact desire women and just want nothing to do with them. 

What could possibly have made his sons so adverse to the opposite sex? Did they simply not know many girls growing up? They had plenty of girl cousins on his side, most of them had been free loading on his manor for decades. No stable mother figure? Sesshomaru's mother had been quite stable, and he had been over one hundred years before she had passed away. 

Was Takiko a stable mother figure for Inu-Yasha? Taisho frowned a little as he watched her clumsily grab the salt. **She had tried to commit suicide awhile back**, he reminded himself somberly, **I love her, but I would hardly call that stable**. She hadn't always been so easily shaken though. When he had first met her she was a firebrand young beauty, bubbling over with laughter. She was so different from his quiet, solemn wife so much like his eldest son, and his even quieter years of isolated loneliness after her death. And yet that fire and passion he had said 'till death do us part' to was all but snuffed out now. Still, he saw glimpses of her lost passion, now rarely seen wit and stubborn nature in Inu-Yasha. Now even that opportunity seemed to be more and more fleeting, as his son withdrew further and further away from him, wrapping himself in a tight cocoon out of Taisho's reach.

His wife frowned as she plopped the salt down in front of him, her eyes once again focusing on her son and his bride. She looked to Taisho as if to ask him if he was going to do something about it. The Lord of the Western Lands sighed, shrugging his shoulders slightly as a sign that he would try, but he made no promises. Straightening slightly, Taisho set his jaw in preparation of meeting with any resistance from his youngest son. 

A spoon was hurled through the air, landing against Inu-Yasha's head with a pang. Looking around in annoyance, his eyes fell upon his father. Taisho grunted in response, admitting his guilt with a look which didn't quite say he was sorry. Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes and went back to pretending to eat, not really in the mood to play any of his father's games at communicating. While he was usually desperate enough to get any contact with his father to take the gamble, he just didn't have any energy left to bid, especially when he knew he would only lose. 

Not five minutes later a chopstick was hurled at his head. His father's face was still completely unapologetic. Muttering curses under his breath, he turned to his father wearily, "What do you want?" 

Taisho raised a single clawed finger as a sign to wait a minute, before furiously writing on one of the blank scrolls he had. Inu-Yasha waited impatiently with a scowl, one elbow planted on the table as his other hand tapped the table. Once he was finished laboring over his message, he held it up: _How was your day, boy?_

Inu-Yasha raised a thick eyebrow, he hadn't been expecting that question. "Um…" He said uncertainly, still not able to get over the fact that his father wanted to communicate with him so much that he was willing to use signs. **There's an ulterior motive, it's just a matter of time before I find out**. "Fine, I guess." 

Raising his finger again to signal his son that he wasn't finished, he bent down again and began to scribble quickly. He quickly held up his next sign: _What did you do?_

Both of the hanyou's eyebrows furrowed in suspicion, ears flat against his skull. Something was most definitely up. "I…. Uh…" Did he really want to tell him anything? It's not like he was really interested anyway, might as well skip to the highlight of the day. "I beat up a wolf demon." Inu-Yasha brightened considerably at the memory. Next to him, Kagome seemed to be choking on her own air. 

It was Taisho's turn to raise an eyebrow. With a slight smile, he began to write quickly before once again thrusting the scroll into the air: _For…? _

Inu-Yasha snorted. "He claimed Kagome was his woman, and charged me. He was practically begging me to kick his ass." An arrogant smirk came on his face. Kagome stiffened more, her lips forming a tight line.

Taisho gave his son a full out fanged grin, **HA! Progress!** Maybe these two weren't so far gone after all. It would just take a lot of pushing on his part, and he would definitely have to call in the cavalry, but over all the war was not doomed to failure . He held up another sign: _Who was the wolf-shit? _It was only after he held up the sign that he saw Kagome wince in response. Maybe he wasn't helping the situation…. 

"Kouga," He growled a little at the memory of the way he had grabbed Kagome's hand, before rolling his eyes and adding "But I could care less if he had a name or not." 

Kagome slammed the spoon down into the table. "That is because you don't _care_, period!" 

Inu-Yasha looked at her with stunned, wounded eyes. "What the fuck does that mean bitch?" 

**Oh, shit. **Taisho almost bit down on his tongue again, stopping himself just before the canines pierced sensitive flesh. Takiko braced her hands against the table, shrinking into herself as the echoes once again began to drown her thoughts. Miroku just continued to eat his soup. 

"What do you think it means?!" She retorted angrily, "Can't you see he was hurt!? The guy just got his heart broken and you stepped on his head! REPEATEDLY!" 

"Are you stupid wench? HE FUCKING ATTACKED ME!" Inu-Yasha roared. So much for the first decent conversation he had with his father; the bitch had just ruined it. If she wanted to play nasty so would he. "And if you were _so_ concerned about his heart, maybe you shouldn't have led him on!" 

The words had hit their target, the verbal assault Kagome had been preparing to counter assault went died in her throat. Her head lowered, her eyes becoming deep pools of guilt. "I didn't know…" 

The battle was rapidly being lost before Taisho's very eyes. He couldn't wait to consult the cavalry later, he would have to drag their asses out here now. Once again scribbling frantically, he whistled and waved the sign in the air, hoping that the newly weds would be too preoccupied trying to dice up each others egos to notice him. 

Miroku noticed the sign out of the corner of his eye and read it. _Would you do something about them monk? _Miroku nodded slightly, before mouthing 'when the time is right'. Then he went back to complacently eating his soup. 

Taisho liked war better than matchmaking. At least in war, the cavalry came in whenever the trumpet sounded, not whenever they capriciously thought the time was 'right'. There was also someone cheering you on usually in a war, someone, somewhere, actually wanted you to win. In matchmaking, Taisho found himself to be pretty much despised by all parties in general. And he wasn't even sure that it was because of his matchmaking, since he didn't know if they knew the lengths to which he was going. Why did he even bother? 

Snorting derisively, Inu-Yasha spat "He obviously thought you did. Don't give me that shit, you had to have known something." 

"But I told you! He never stuck around… He would just take off! I thought he thought it was all a game or something! I didn't know he was serious! I didn't mean to hurt him…" Suddenly Inu-Yasha could smell the salty scent of her tears as her voice got very meek and quiet. "I have been hurting people a lot without meaning too lately…" 

He hadn't meant to make her cry. Gods, he hated it when women cried. They looked so fragile, and reminded him so much of his mother. Stopping the verbal assault, Inu-Yasha reached out tentatively toward the crying figure of his wife, not knowing exactly what to do. Unable to come up with anything, his hand began to recede back to his side, when he heard Miroku speak. 

"Ah, yes, now I remember where I heard the name Kouga." The monk said almost idly, in a quiet voice. "He is the prince of the wolf tribe up in the mountains. He probably wouldn't have a lot of time to spend with Kagome, since he is responsible for the care of the whole clan. Not to mention that they have been in many territorial disputes as of late."

"He never said anything about that." Kagome muttered as she wiped her tears.

Miroku gave her a small sympathetic smile, "Of coarse not, Kagome-sama. It is perfectly understandable that you never took his suit seriously given the fact he was never around." He fixed his eyes on Inu-Yasha with a dead serious 'follow my lead' expression. "Isn't that right Inu-Yasha?" 

Kagome's eyes moved up to meet his, awaiting his answer. His eyes met hers briefly, wanting to tell her he was sorry. But yet he couldn't do it, paralyzed by hurt pride, and the fact that he was already beating himself up about it. All he could muster for her was a soft "Keh." with a turn of his head away from her. 

Rolling his eyes, Miroku decided it was time to change the subject. Inu-Yasha never could follow a lead when it was in his best interests to. He would just have to pummel the bastard later. Perking up a bit on his cushion, Miroku turned toward Taisho, "Soooooo, Yamura-sama, how exactly did you injure your tongue?" 

Taisho made a surprised gurgling noise in the back of his throat in response. His dark amber eyes met the monks navy blue ones, spewing betrayal and accusation better than any words he was capable of forming. The cavalry was _not_ supposed to set the rest of the army up. Miroku just blinked innocently at him in response. The Lord of the Western Lands spent the rest of dinner defending his ability to eat without grievously injuring himself. Yes, a talk with the cavalry was in order. 

After dinner ended, or rather Taisho ordered everyone out of the room with scrolls and signs full of vehement cursing, the dog demon grabbed the monk by his robes and forced him to take a walk in the garden with him. 

Trading his iron grip on the monks robes for bracing the monk's neck with his arm, he dragged both of them down the stone path. Takiko followed a little ways behind, unable to bring herself to leave the protection her husband's presence provided. Taisho took a deep breath, and decided to try out his somewhat healed tongue. "Ou are oing ou help me." His voice radiated authority and regality in despite of the fact of his pronunciation.

"Well," Miroku said cautious from his hunched position locked in Taisho's arm. "I would love to consider your request Yamura-sama, but it is really hard to consider anything from my current position."

Taisho groaned and released him, waiting expectantly as the monk gathered his dignity. Shaking himself a bit, Miroku once again addressed the dog demon, "Now, what is it you want me to help you with?"

"I wan ou to help Inu-Asha an Ka-ome." 

Miroku raised an eyebrow as he glanced up at the tall stature of the demon lord. It was so odd having Taisho come to him for help. "Help them do what?"

"Ou know wha."

Scoffing, Miroku turned his sharp features and his dignity up in the air. "Please Yamura-sama, I am hardly the type to pry. I am a monk, hardly interested in the worldly affairs of others." 

Eyes narrowing in the moonlight, Taisho fought off the urge to list several examples to the contrary. "Aren ou suppose oo help people in nee, mon?" Since the monk insisted on pretending like he did everything in his job description…

"If helping Inu-Yasha and Kagome's marriage was to their mutual spiritual benefit, helped them reach nirvana and have better relations with others, than yes. I honestly believe, however, it is too early to tell whether Kagome will positively impact Inu-Yasha's relations with others, or cause him to be more bitter and ornery. Until I know for sure Kagome would be in Inu-Yasha's best interests, I refuse to push them together and consequently lead Inu-Yasha to eternal damnation." 

Taisho let out a small sigh. Obviously the monk's more altruistic side was not going to give in; time to deal with the side that could always be reached. Instituting plan B: "How muw wou ii cos?"

Gasping loudly at the mere insinuation in his voice, Miroku stepped back in sheer horror. "Lord Yamura!" He cried, seemingly as shocked as a shrine maiden who had been propositioned, "What in all of the hells would make you think that I could be bought?" His aura turned as golden as his staff in the evening twilight. "Must I repeat that I am a monk! I serve for the good of others, for the gods, not for such lowly desires as money, or anything else you could throw at me!" 

"I cou in-o-uce ou oo all ah irls in ah kitchen!" It was really hard to make his voice persuasive while his tongue flopped around in his mouth like a dying fish, but Taisho did his best. "An ah maids oo!"

"I met the whole of your kitchen staff last spring. I had the pleasure of making myself the acquaintance of your beautiful maids this last fall." Miroku answered in a flat voice, his lips forming the faintest of smirks in the faint light. 

"Ere's a new irl in ah kitchen…"

"Yes," Miroku agreed amiably, "And I introduced myself to her last night."

Rolling his eyes, Taisho sighed. "Alrigh…. Wen-y ol pieces."

"And what exactly would you have me do for these twenty gold pieces?" The monk asked in a non-committal fashion.

"Alk oo my son, ive him avice, and convince him oo spen ime wi ah irl."

"So all you want me to do is talk to and advise Inu, and convince him to spend more time with Kagome-sama? Is that all?"

"An make sure a ey s-ar working on Aki-chan."

"Okay, so you want me to make sure they are being intimate," He cast a weary eye to Takiko to make sure his euphemism was correct, but found she was staring off into outer space several feet behind them. "Advise Inu-Yasha, and convince him to spend more time with Kagome-sama?" Taisho nodded in response. "100 gold pieces." 

"Wen-y five." He wasn't about to give the monk anymore than he had to.

"Lord Yamura!" Miroku chastised, his expression once again that of pure holiness utterly aghast. "I will go down to seventy five, because you are a close personal friend, but please do not ask me to lower my price. If I did as you asked, I would be going against my very vows and long cherished morals as a personal favor! Excuse me if I ask for this small monetary sum to console myself over my loss of virtue for the betterment of others, but one must comfort oneself somehow in this cold, cruel world." 

Miroku turned his eyes heavenward, ever the suffering martyr… **Except in the bedroom**, Taisho added mentally. Rolling his eyes, he decided he would do what ever it took to get this man to stop the melodramatic; he had dealt with enough people's crap for the day. "Six-y" **Maybe that's the houshi's real spiritual power**, Taisho mused, **the power to overwhelm and mesmerize with the sheer amount of shit he can come up with on the spot**. 

"Sixty five". The martyr's face hardened into that of the shrewdest businessman in the land. 

"Eal." The dog demon groaned, glad to be through with the ordeal. "Now, oh, Inu-Asha shou be coming own oo ah kitchen any momen now."

Miroku turned to go back down the path, before turning back to look at the demon lord with an unreadable expression. "And why would he be going back to the kitchen so soon after dinner in your opinion?"

"He was sulking all rew inner, he barely ouched his soup. He is s-ill s-arving".

Eyes still unreadable, the monk spoke with new understanding, "You notice a lot more about him than he realizes, don't you." 

Scoffing, Taisho answered. "Of coarse."

"Maybe you should let him know that." 

************************************************************************

Inu-Yasha found his way through the dark corridors of the castle with relative ease. No one ever lit the torches lining the thick stone walls at night. Almost all of the demons living there could care less about the nearly non-existent night vision of the few humans who stupidly insisted on living in their presence. 

The part of him which still remembered terrors of being seven and alone in these hallways hadn't wanted to venture to the kitchen at this time of night. Even if he hadn't heard their voices in the darkness cloaking his surroundings, he still would have heard their voices in his head. The voices hung about the halls like cobwebs building up over time, because no one seemed to care they were there in the first place. He was too hungry though, having eaten very little at dinner. And even if he weren't starved, he was far too proud to ever show his family they had any impact on him whatsoever. They would never win.

Walking down the hall steadily, he ignored all of the comments, and promises of making him the next day's meal. He refused to run to the kitchen, if he ran than they would have won. They would have some kind of control over him. Besides, he had put up with worse. The kitchen was in site, he had almost made it the whole way without responding to their jabs when he heard a comment that made him stand frozen. 

"Do you think he is going to mate that bitch of his tonight?" Inu-Yasha was suddenly grateful for the darkness, since it hid his humiliating crimson blush. Fists balled up, blood began to leak from his hand as his claws dug into his palms. He desperately tried to get his feet to move toward the door, as the answer came. "Probably is, fucking mutt." 

Realizing the voice was immediately behind him, Inu-Yasha turned, howling angrily "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!" Only the figure was gone, and his howl rippled violently down the seemingly empty hallway. Yet just as Inu-Yasha thought that they were gone, a thousand laughs echoed back at him, causing his silvery ears to flatten against his head. Inu-Yasha quickly made it to the door, thrusting it open and closed as fast as he possibly could. He wasn't quick enough to miss one last comment:

"The little shit probably doesn't even know how to fuck her right." 

Door slammed shut, Inu-Yasha let out a furious growl before attacking the door, scratching down the wood in rage and embarrassment. Stopping for fear of breaking it, Inu-Yasha slumped against the mangled door, breathing hard. His heart was pounding so relentlessly he was beginning to think it wanted out of his chest and away from all of the pain permanently. 

"What happened?" A deep baritone voice called quietly from behind him. Turning around, he saw Miroku sitting at one of the kitchen tables sipping tea, a small candle barely lighting his features with an orange glow. 

Inu-Yasha wearily made his way over to sit across from the monk before letting his head slump against the table.

"The family again, I take it?" Miroku asked sympathetically, moving a large piece of lukewarm steak into the hanyou's line of view.

"I'm just so sick of this shit." Inu-Yasha said tiredly as he nodded and began eating the steak. "Are you sure that I can't just set this place on fire?" He asked between bites. 

Miroku pondered the question thoughtfully, "With me in it?"

The hanyou looked up at him with innocent eyes "I would give you ten minutes notice… You know, for old times sake."

Snorting, the monk responded "Thanks Inu-Yasha, I love you too." 

Eyes widening marginally, Inu-Yasha shifted away from Miroku marginally, still chewing on the steak. "Who said anything about loving you, bouzo?" 

Rolling his eyes, Miroku decided against playing with the dog demon, considering his current emotional state. "It was sarcasm, Inu-Yasha."

"Sure…" Inu-Yasha eyed him suspiciously. "Just keep your hands where I can see them." 

"Have I ever patted your ass?" 

Inu-Yasha smirked arrogantly. "That's cause you know I'd rip _your_ ass a new hole if you did."

Nodding thoughtfully, the monk added "And I wouldn't want to make Kagome-sama jealous." Miroku silently congratulated himself on being able to bring the miko into the conversation so subtly.

Inu-Yasha just shifted uncomfortably in his seat, chewing silently in response. Everything about his sulking, guarded posture screamed he would rather talk about Sesshomaru's hairstyles and makeup rather than his new wife. Observing Inu-Yasha's reluctance to talk about the topic, Miroku decided to proceed with caution. "So I never got a chance to ask, how did the wedding night go?" 

"Why do ask, bouzo?" 

"Taisho has been asking about whether or not you have started working on Taki-chan." Miroku said gently, giving the hanyou a sympathetic look. 

Inu-Yasha just stared at him for a moment, turning red from embarrassment at the thought of Miroku and his father talking about his sex life. "Why the fuck doesn't he get out of my damn business?!" He growled. 

The monk shrugged helplessly. "It's his way of showing that he cares."

"Then I wish he would care a hell of a lot less." 

Miroku offered him a small rueful smile, "At least he is around to care, period." What he wouldn't give to have his own father torturing him right now, instead of suffering a fate which he soon would suffer as well: being sucked into his own kazaana. 

"Anyhoo," He said with false cheer, tell me about the wedding night." 

"Fine. " The demon dog answered sullenly. 

"What did you guys do?"

After making a few whining and gagging noises in his throat, Inu-Yasha made a gesture with his hand that basically summed up what had happened on his wedding night. His eyes remained averted after he finished, his cheeks flaming red in the orange light of the candle. Miroku was almost touched by the gesture. He had honestly never felt closer to Inu-Yasha than at that moment, they had reached a whole new level in their friendship in his opinion. The fact that Inu-Yasha was able to share something about his sex life with the monk, even non-verbally, showed the monk that he really did trust him, in spite of all the yelling to the contrary. In the monk's mind, the two had infinitely more to discuss now. 

Putting the nostalgia of the moment aside, Miroku continued on. "Was she wearing anything?" **Boy, Inu-Yasha's claws really gleam when he holds them up in the light like that… **Laughing nervously, Miroku explained "I just wanted to get a mental picture!" 

The hanyou was still bearing his fangs. The monk decided it was time to get back to the matter at hand. "And did you return the favor?" 

Inu-Yasha stared back at him with a wide, dumbfounded expression. "What?" 

Taking a deep breath, Miroku pronounced his words slowly and clearly. "After she pleasured you, did you give her pleasure in return?" 

"Uh… no."

"Inu-Yasha!" Miroku gasped, as scandalized as a mother who's child had just given the next door neighbor the finger. "How could you?!"

Not really knowing what the hell he had done wrong, Inu-Yasha just started giving random excuses. "We were tired! She didn't fucking ask! I was thinking about killing something! How the hell was I supposed to know?! I've never did any of this shit before!"

Shaking his head, eyes closed in disgust. "That was unforgivably rude of you, Inu-Yasha. You always return the favor, otherwise you are insulting your partner and making yourself out to be a rude, ignorant, selfish bastard. And even if you are, she shouldn't have to know that."

"It's not that big of a deal…."

"Yes, Inu-Yasha, it really is. I am really surprised she hasn't called you on it and demanded that you make amends. Then again, Kagome-sama is an incredibly _forgiving_ girl." He had to massage his temples to get over the horror of the situation. The hanyou was really lucky he had him around to relieve Kagome and him of their ignorance of the rules of sex in polite society. Not that he usually liked to share his immense knowledge, he had a reputation to protect and all, but he would have to make an exception for these poor souls. He would have to, for his country, for Buddha, and for sixty five gold piece that would buy him at least a years stay at a geisha house. 

Standing over a still horribly confused Inu-Yasha, Miroku commanded "Go! Run as fast as you can to your room and pleasure that girl as quickly as you possibly can before you have insulted her beyond repair!" His eyes were burned with the flames of the candle as he pointed emphatically toward the door. 

Inu-Yasha just sat in his chair, looking at his now his own empty plate. "But I don't even know what to do." 

Miroku fell back into a seated position in his chair, hands rubbing his eye sockets in frustration. "Didn't you listen to anything I told you two nights ago?" He whined. 

"But I don't want to use my tongue…" Inu-Yasha honestly couldn't take it. There were already moments where he found it very hard to control his urges around the girl. The thought of tasting her was enough to nearly make him lose control edge just sitting here with Miroku. He couldn't loosen the tight grip he held on his emotions and desires, and he knew he would lose himself and just take the girl if given the opportunity to taste her. He wasn't willing to risk that. It took a lot of his energy not to look at her hungrily when she stretched or caress her while she slept innocently. He wasted even more energy to convince himself that these were perfectly normal male reactions to being in the presence of an attractive female. **Wait… did I just think Kagome was attractive?** He pushed his mental censuring button again, banishing all thoughts of her looks. 

Miroku gave him a patient look. "Then use your hands. Don't you remember the story about Saki?" 

Grimacing as the mental picture came up, Inu-Yasha grumbled irritably, "I really hate these little chats of ours, bouzo." 

Perking up in his chair, Miroku gave Inu-Yasha a dazzling smile. "Really? I rather enjoy them!" 

"You would, fucking hentai." Inu-Yasha got up to leave, heading toward the door. 

"Wait, Inu-Yasha!" Miroku called, " There is one more thing we need to discuss!"

The hanyou stopped, not turning around. "What?" 

"Lubrication." Inu-Yasha immediately began walking out of the room again. Miroku continued undeterred. "You are going to need to use something to make it more comfortable for her. I would suggest some kind of oil, or possibly a cloth." Inu-Yasha was already out the door, slamming it behind him. This was another reason why he never shared his knowledge with the world, they never seemed remotely grateful. 

************************************************************************

Inu-Yasha entered his room to find no trace of Kagome except a few green candles keeping the room lit, and some of her clothes piled on his wooden dresser. His ears twitched in the direction of the bathroom as he caught the sound of splashy water and the squeak of bubbles popping. Sticking his head in the bathroom, he saw the shadowy outline of her form behind the red wax paper screen, some towels strewn on the stone floor in front of him. "Wench?" 

"Yes, Inu-Yasha?" Kagome called back as she seeped a little deeper into the bubbly water.

"We need to talk, get the hell out of there." 

"What about the water?"

"Shippo'll take care of it in the morning.

Sighing deeply, Kagome slowing began to get out of the tub. What a waste of lovely warm water and bubbles. **And after Shippo had been so nice as to put it together for me… **Not that he should have though, after all she had explicitly given him the day off. He would just have to be punished. She would give him tomorrow off too, that would teach him. 

She padded across the floor over to Inu-Yasha, smiling slightly in amusement as she watched his impatient expression. His foot hadn't stop tapping against the floor since he had told her to get out of the tub. After making sure her bright yellow sleeping kimono was firmly tied, she looked up and asked him "What's wrong Inu-"

Within a second the hanyou's lips were covering hers, kissing her with a sort of fervent desperation. **He really needs to start warning me when he is about to do that…. ** His kiss was a lot more careful, and felt much more gentle that their harsh first kiss however. Uncertainly responding, she tried to slow down the kiss, wanting to know what the hell was causing him to start this so suddenly. Placing her hands on his chest, she pushed away slightly to look him in the eyes.

The golden orbs were narrowed seriously, his dark brows furrowed in what seemed to be anxiety. Her eyes widened marginally; apparently this was serious, and apparently he wasn't going to talk about it. He bent down to kiss her again. She would have to wait until tomorrow to ask him why exactly they had to start this now. There was no way she could chance asking him when any of his relatives could be listening. Sighing into his mouth she returned his kiss a little more, though still thoroughly confused by the suddenness of the situation. 

Continuing their kiss, Inu-Yasha slowly began to move her toward the futon. His arms wrapped around the small of her back, not trusting her to walk backwards without tripping. He tried to focus on the situation, and not the images of his father and relatives ricocheting around in his head. It had only been their second day of being married; why was the man so bloody impatient? Inu-Yasha mentally shook himself, thinking about Taisho was not going to help him do this. The thought that he was basically performing for his father on some level really did _not_ turn him on. 

Remembering the fall Kagome had taken the last time he let Kagome sit down on the futon by her self before joining her. As Inu-Yasha moved toward her on the futon, Kagome tried to swallow her nervousness and smile at him. No matter how hard she tried to hide the fear crawling up her spine and through her unspeakably dry throat, her pale skin couldn't seem to decide whether it should be incredibly red with embarrassment or ghostly white with dread. Her wide, blue gray eyes met Inu-Yasha's timidly, silently begging for this to be over as quickly as possible.

Something suddenly occurred to Inu-Yasha as he looked into the stormy blue depths of her eyes: he didn't want this to be horrible for her. The thought of her being made to go through this awkward act of getting each other off, while getting nothing out of it but humiliation, embarrassment, and the loss of some of her innocence made some part of him actually hurt. 

He didn't really know why he gave a damn, she had agreed to it out of her own free will. That was the thing though, she had agreed out of her _own free will_ to help _him_. He really didn't deserve her help, and he didn't know how to thank her adequately. He really hadn't a clue how to thank her at all. If he really had to be the one to drain some of the wide eyed innocence from her, however, at least he could try his best to make this less awkward. 

Licking his lips, he commanded in a gruff, but quiet voice, "Just relax, and follow my lead." She gulped and nodded in response. He smirked a little in return, taking one of her hands in his, and intertwining their fingers. Hovering over her, he kissed her again gingerly.

Kagome marveled at the gentleness in his eyes as he kissed her, not quite knowing where it had come from. This was the same guy who regularly called her wench and bitch, and who managed to make her cry more times in the past few days than she had in the last year. Why were his eyes warm and sweet honey all of the sudden, seeming to be genuinely concerned about her? 

One part of her already knew that this was all a big set up, she had the wrong demon. She would wake up to find Inu-Yasha standing over her and whoever this was while they were still in bed, yelling at her for not being able to tell the difference. Either that or he was possessed, in which case he would still howl at her for not knowing instantly. Yet a small voice inside of her suggested something truly unbelievable, maybe this _was_ Inu-Yasha. Deciding not to ignore the voice she usually hit over the head and locked away in her mental closet, she couldn't help but wonder if she was seeing what laid under the layers of arrogance and violence. 

His thumb gently began to trace small circle in the palm of her hand, his other hand coming up to brush the hair out of her face as they kissed. His lips finally left hers, covering her chin with kisses and licks before dropping to her neck. She breathed in sharply as his fangs grazed the arch of her neck, causing him to look up startled. "My hair didn't tickle you again did it?"

"No." She smiled sheepishly, cheeks slightly pink.

"Oh." He said simply, still looking somewhat paranoid. 

"I just liked it." Kagome amended in a small voice. 

He smirked arrogantly, an expression which clearly said '_of course you did, bitch_' to her. Knotting his hair to stay at the back of his neck just to be sure, Inu-Yasha continued his assault on her neck with renewed vigor. 

She idly picked up his other hand which was still resting near the side of his head. The boys in her village had always seemed to be fascinated anytime she bit her nails or sucked on one of her fingers in indecision. She experimentally licked one of his fingers, before taking part of it in her mouth. The hanyou's head shot up in response, only to find her smiling timidly at him, half his finger hanging outside her mouth. Merely lifting an eyebrow and smirking a little, he went back to kissing her collar bone. Guessing that he at least didn't mind, Kagome continued to suck at his fingers, pleased to be at least somewhat contributing to all of this. 

Nudging the top part of her yellow kimono open with his nose, he continued to kiss and lick her until he reached her breasts. He lightly bit the hardened nipple, before encircling it with his tongue. There was something extraordinarily satisfying about the squeak that came out of her, muffled by his fingers in her mouth. He continued to tease her breasts, reveling in the power he had to change the steady rhythm of her heart. It became a game to see how many times he could make the steady drum speed up. His control over her reactions just made him want to laugh maniacally at the power he had over her.

The sensation of what he was doing to her made it almost impossible to focus on doing anything. Kagome let his hand fall away from her mouth, bracing her hand on his back. There was that odd sensation again, the one between her thighs. What exactly was that? And should she actually be wanting Inu-Yasha to do this her? Because she did, and it was scaring her. She really didn't want him to stop at this point, even though she knew she wasn't supposed to like the fact he had to touch her like this in the first place. What was he _doing_ to her? Why did she _like_ it? No, she wasn't supposed to be feeling anything for six months, and after the six months were over she would feel something with somebody else. 

Really, she should have just stayed in her bath and refused to come out. **Inu-Yasha in the bath…** Where had that thought come from? Somehow she knew it was all Inu-Yasha's fault. She would have started forming a plan to push him away and hide in the bathroom, if his lips weren't traveling down her belly, and his fangs hadn't run over her belly button. She was flat out unable to manage any deep coherent thinking from this point on. **Damn it all…. **

Continuing to part the girls kimono with his nose, he reached the knotted tie at her waist. He managed to undo the knot with his teeth and nose working together, his brow knotting in anticipation. Letting the kimono fall away to lie on either side of her hips, he gulped as she was completely exposed before him. He looked back up at her face before continuing. **This can't be _that_ hard**. 

"Tell me if anything I do hurts." He commanded in a low voice. 

She nodded uncertainly, having absolutely no clue what he was going to do next. 

Keeping his eyes on her, his fingers slipped between her thighs, exploring the folds lying there. Caressing her gently as he investigated, his hand ran against a delicate film keeping his hand from fully entering her. "Do you want me to break it?"

"Break what?" She was too distracted, trying to figure out exactly what he was trying to accomplish by touching her there in the first place.

He stared at her for a moment, unable to believe she didn't even know about her own hymen. "Your…" He started, before just shaking his head, "Nevermind." He really didn't want to have to explain it to her. Besides, they would have more proof Kagome was actually a virgin when they tried to get a divorce six months from now if Kagome still had her hymen intact. He would just have to work around it. 

Moving his hand up a little, he began to caress her center, moving the joint of his thumb in circular motions against her. His hand kept a slow rhythm, looking for some sign on her face that he was making the right movements. She continued to look uncomfortable however, her mouth forming a thin line, as if she were thinking about something really grave, her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. 

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes looked up at his, blushing in response. "No, it's fine."

"I told you to tell me if something doesn't feel right." 

"Nothing is wrong." 

"Spit it out."

"Well, it's…um…"

"Damn it!"

"It's just that it feels really… uncomfortable when you touch me there, it feels kind of… rough." Kagome said shyly, averting her eyes away from his.

Inu-Yasha groaned, drawing his hand away to sit beside her hip. 

She shrank back against the futon in response. "I didn't mean to upset you…" She said in a small voice. 

The hanyou looked at her flatly. "Don't be stupid, I told you to tell me if anything was wrong. I am just mad because that fucking bouzo was right." Gods, he hated it when Miroku was right about anything. **He is a monk, for fuck's sake! He should know even less about this than I do! He shouldn't be giving me detailed instructions! **

"What did he say?" Kagome asked curiously.

"That we would need lubrication to make it comfortable for you" She just stared at him blankly, so he tried to explain again without dieing of the heated blush rising to his own cheeks. "We need something to make you… er, um ." He couldn't get out anything more than a few strangled noises.   
"What?" She asked innocently.

More grumbling noises came from Inu-Yasha's throat. 

She was enjoying this role reversal. "Spit it out!"

"Something to….er… makeyouwetdownthere." **Why do I always end up having to say this stuff out loud?**

"Oh." Kagome blinked, suddenly the picture of Inu-Yasha in the tub coming back to her. "What about the… bath?" She suggested uncertainly. 

Inu-Yasha mulled it over for a second, before quickly helping her up and dragging her back into the bathroom. Kagome followed his lead, dropping her kimono on the floor by the tub before gracefully entering the lukewarm water. 

She sighed as she got comfortable, sinking back into the sweet smelling bath. Her eyes flew open as she heard him chuckle darkly. He was standing on the edge of the tub, naked with his arms crossed, looking incredibly beautiful and incredibly evil. Before she could even register what he was going to do he jumped in the bath, causing a tidal wave of water to pour over the rim. Half the water in the tub was gone now. 

Kagome looked at him narrowly through dripping wet bangs, thoroughly not amused. "You know, Inu-"

"Shut up, wench." He said blithely before once again claiming her lips in his. Moving her carefully to the edge of the tub, his hands played with her nipples, once again loving the control he had over her responses. 

He waited until she fully was relaxed against him, panting slightly at his touch before once again moving his hands lower. He watched her features once again, he tried to determine if it was slightly more comfortable for her. Her eyebrows were still drawn together uncertainly together. She still felt incredibly dry in spite of the fact that they were literally surrounded by wetness. Growling in frustration, a voice came unbidden in his head.

_The little shit probably doesn't even know how to fuck her right_.

He shook his head angrily, trying to get his mind away from the thought. **No, this can't be that hard. I can fucking do this without messing up**. They couldn't be right, they just couldn't. Abruptly, something Miroku had said while he was leaving popped into his head. Quickly leaving the tub, Inu-Yasha searched on the ground for what he would need. 

Kagome lifted her head, confused by the speed with which he was no longer hovering over her. "Inu-Yasha?"

A clawed hand once appeared next to the side of the tub, triumphantly waving her yellow sleeping kimono. Kagome just stared dumbfounded as Inu-Yasha climbed back in the tub, dragging the silky fabric in with him, soaking it in the water. "Inu-Yasha, what are you planning-"

Once again, Inu-Yasha refused to let her finish her question, fastening his lips to hers. He didn't wait as long to once again to start fingering her again, this time stroking at her through the fabric. Much to his delight, a shocked look appeared on Kagome's face, her eyes closing partly at the sensation. Her hips bucking into his hand. Inu-Yasha didn't hide his urge to laugh maniacally this time, chuckling almost hysterically as he continued to pleasure her.

Kagome's eyes opened a little, wondering why the hell he was cackling like some lunatic. "Inu-" He pinch her nub at her core, causing another jolt of pleasure to run through her and completely shutting off coherent thought again. Inu-Yasha continued to smirk as Kagome's head rolled back, her eyes shutting firmly as she got lost in the sensation.

After awhile Kagome came back from her haze of pleasure, beginning to feel tired and uncomfortable and tired. "Um Inu-Yasha?"

"Yeah?"

"Um… could you…. Er…"

"Spit it out wench!"

"Could you stop? It is beginning to hurt and I am really tired." She asked tentatively. 

Inu-Yasha's face fell a little. "Oh, okay." He said, pulling away from her. 

"I'm sorry, that I didn't well… Well, what you did the first time." She said, lowering her eyes in shame.

"Orgasm?" Inu-Yasha asked with a small frown of confusion before looking at her seriously. "Kagome look at me." He ordered firmly. She lifted her eyes uncomfortably. "Did you enjoy it?" 

"Yes…" 

"Then don't apologize." He said simply, making his way out of the tub. 

As she followed him uncertainly, she looked back to find her yellow kimono lying at the bottom of the water. "You ruined my kimono." She said flatly, reaching for one of the towels that hadn't been hit by the tidal wave Inu-Yasha had created jumping in the tub.  
"Stop griping wench." Inu-Yasha answered breezily as he put on his red hakama pants. 

"Well, if you-" Her sentence stopped as her eyes some how landed on Inu-Yasha's crotch. 

The hanyou saw where her eyes had landed, reddening uncomfortably under her gaze. "It'll go back down." 

"When?" Kagome asked, mesmerized at the sheer size of it through his pants. 

"Eventually." He answered irritably, leaving the bathroom.

After Kagome had dressed in another sleeping kimono, she crawled onto the futon to go sleep. Turning to say goodnight to Inu-Yasha, she gasped.

"It'll go down!" The hanyou asserted petulantly. "Just don't breath, talk or move much, and it will fucking go down." 

"Okay…" Kagome said uncertainly.

"Damn it! Don't talk!"

"Goodnight then, Inu-Yasha."  
"Really wench, you're not helping." He nearly whined. 

************************************************************************

Taisho smiled in the darkness as he heard the feminine giggling coming from somewhere beneath his futon

. _The Masterpiece Theater set still looks like a cemetery, but birds chirp somewhere in the distance, and the thunder has subsided. _

Miroku: (Types furiously) Almost done…

Sango: (Groans from her fetal position) THANK GODS,.

Miroku: (Finishes, sighs. Mutters to himself sulkily) She always manages to spoil my fun. (Suddenly looks determined) But she won't be able to next time… (cackles evilly)

Sango: (Looks confused) What do you mean, houshi-sama?

Miroku: (Brightens like a kid with a birthday coming up) Next chapter, I get my payment. (His eyes take on a slightly demented scary look) Next chapter, I get my preciiooouusss…

Sango: (Smirks back at him) But you forget houshi-sama,

Miroku: (Comes out of demonic trance) Wha…? 

Sango: (Full out grins) I get my payment too.

Miroku: (Pauses thoughtfully, before grinning childishly and saying in a sing song voice) Mine will be better than yours…

Sango: (Makes face) No it won't.

Miroku: Yes it will.

Sango: Nuh ah.

Miroku: Uh huh.

Sango: No!

Miroku:Yes!

Earl the Lawyer: (Leaps in front of bickering couple, smiling gallantly. His cape billows in the wind) In any case, tune in…er you can't exactly tune into a computer, but comeback next time to find out exactly what Miroku and Sango got as payment for helping Rambler! And remember, Anti-Hentai Man wants YOU to review! 


	11. Remarkably, Time Goes On

(The set of Masterpiece theater is back to its normal glory, the bookshelves neatly line the wooden walls, and the fire place is alight with a ginger glow from the crackling fire. Two figures sit in the rust colored arm chairs, legs crossed, staring at each other.)

Sango: (Stares intently at Miroku, eyebrows furrowed) Give it up monk.

Miroku: (Stares just as intently at Sango, eyes squinting) I'll never surrender.

Sango: (Points to the side, eyes still glued to Miroku's) Look, a gorgeous, scantily clad woman!

Miroku: (Smirks proudly) That may have worked the first two hundred and fifty times.. But it won't work this time!

Sango: She's holding up a sign that says 'Will bare child'!

Miroku: (His hands twitch a little, moving with a mind of their own) No… must… resist… must not lose…

Sango: Oh! Wait! The sign says will bear children!

Miroku: (His hands start convulsing, he frantically tries to pull them down with his legs) Must not give in…. So tempted…

Sango: Oh! And what is that underneath? Something about groping?

Miroku: (His hands break free of his legs, moving him out of his chair) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! (Rushes to the end of the stage to see if the woman is there, only to find it is Earl in a wig, with the signs)

Miroku and Sango: (Gape) Huh?

Earl the Lawyer: (Twitches, red from head to toe with embarrassment) What can I say? Rambler really wanted to see Sango win for the thousandth time. Also, she figured you would be too disturbed to kill me when I tell you that your payment isn't coming until the end of the chapter.

Miroku: (Sulks) That is just so typical of her…. Delays it to the last minute…. (starts cursing when he notices the readers) Hello everyone! Long time no grope! So glad you could stop by after so long!

Sango: ( Turns toward readers) Welcome to the much too long awaited Chapter 10! Rambler is incredibly sorry that it took so long, and her only excuse is being very busy and hardly having time to breathe.

Miroku: (Goes back to his chair) To make it up to you she has allowed you all to bear my children.

Sango: (Whacks Miroku over the head) Hentai! Here is Earl with some important announcements from Rambling Coffee Addict.

Earl the Lawyer: Since she has been out of commission for nearly a year, she has a lot of questions to answer. Before she gets to those questions, she would like to thank Meow, for attempting to get her to write a new chapter by reviewing every day for a month or so. She apologizes again for the wait. Also, she loves your character, Metal Dragon, but she doesn't know if she will get a chance to use him, if she does, she will email you. Now, onto the questions Rambler answered, this is going to be long, so the uninterested should scroll down to the end. (Takes deep breath) Lady Ravenwaves, Rambler would like to assure you that the ending of this story has been in her head for two years now and she will try not to dawdle in getting to it… though keep in mind she does ramble. Also, if it seems like any of the passages are pointless, believe me they are not, she is laying the groundwork for future action. Romance for Sessy is probably not going to happen in this story, unfortunately Zipis1 and SP77. Rambler also doesn't think Kagura will be making an appearance, but if she does, it won't be in the same scenes as Sessy. Yes, Aquaprincess, Sango, Naraku, and Kikyo are all going to be in the fic, and will be appearing soon. Rin might not be in the story, but she might appear in one form or another (grins cryptically). The thing about post-traumatic stress disorder, SP77, is that it can kinda take the "backbone" and "spitfire" out of a person. Inu-Yasha's demon relatives have been torturing Takiko for over twenty years, and the only perople she had to turn to was her young son, and her oblivious husband. Even the strongest of us are breakable. Don't worry though, she will begin to get a little "spitfire" soon. The voices in the castle are Inu-Yasha's relatives. For now they are just choosing to stay in the shadows and be insidious, but that is just for now. Humble-Bumble, Kagome is fiery, but her world was turned upside down in a week. Rambler doesn't find it unreasonable to make her a little emotional considering her situation. Plus, as Asya18 pointed out, she has no sitting necklace like she does in the series. That necklace gave her the security and the confidence to behave around Inu-Yasha the way she did. Kagome will be back to her normal self soon, once she finds her feet and learns to cope with her situation. Also, as Rambler has stated before, Kagome had no knowledge of sex prior to being married. She is bound to be a little clueless. Also Asya18, Rambler doesn't like romances or comedies that ignore the grimmer sides of life. She finds the basic plotline of "boy and girl meet, and eventually fall in love" is uninteresting without various angsty things standing in their way. Also, wouldn't let her put it as a romantic dramedy, which is a better title for it. The final question I will answer for the fabulous Rambler is "Will there be a full lemon in this story." The answer is… (drum roll please) yes, but she will have to post it at a separate site and it will only be after the end of the story. So it will be a while, but there will still be citrus moments in the mean time! Last but not least, Rambler does not own or come up with Inu-Yasha, otherwise there would be a team of people who build their lives around helping her get this chapter out on time (Drops to the floor in exhaustion from effort)

Miroku: (Looks in amazement at Earl) My Gods! You memorized all that?

Earl the Lawyer: (Lifts head in a dignified fashion while fanning himself with a cloth) I would do anything for the magnificent, benevolent, beauteous Rambler. (Light streams from the sky and heavenly music plays.)

Sango: Wow, he's really got this lapdog thing down.

Earl the Lawyer: HEY!

Sango: (Shrugs dismissively) Anyhoo, lets get on to the chapter. The sooner that is done the sooner I get my payment!

Chapter 10

Remarkably, Time Goes On

The gray clouds rumbled dramatically, as if reprimanding the earth for some delinquent action. Despite the threat of the thunder, the rain splattered daintily to the ground, a rather polite, almost tactful summer downpour. Just enough to water the flowers in the garden. Kagome reveled in the peaceful atmosphere on the engawa of the castle, listening to the rhythms of the droplets as they splashed against the leaves and petals. Every once in a while, the frogs and insects added their voices to the chorus; an occasional croak or chirp every few minutes. The only sound that didn't seem to harmonize with the orchestra of nature was the weary, high voice of a certain kitsune.

"Ready?" Shippo asked, his orange eyebrows scrunched together as he watched Kagome carefully.

"Yes." Kagome answered with a sigh. This was the twentieth time the boy had asked her. She sat with her legs tucked underneath her, her pale hands lying expectantly on her knees, calmly keeping her eyes trained on the fox-child. Ashes were strewn around her, forming a circle.

"You sure?" He loathed the thought of harming her. What if she were bruised? Or she broke a bone or something? What if she fell over from the force with which he attacked her and was never able to walk again?

"Believe me Shippo," Kagome replied, trying to keep her eyes and tone soothing in spite of her waning patience, "I've been ready for the last thirty minutes."

Taking a deep, resigned sigh, Shippo rushed forward, flinging the feather forward toward Kagome. He closed his eyes unable to look, visions of the feather poking Kagome's eye out taunting him. Kagome immediately dropped her head and brought a single hand to her lips, and began muttering a prayer silently. The moist air around the girl crackled with energy, turning a slightly rosy color, before fading back to normal. She looked up just in time to see the feather fall limply to the floor, right where the line of ash lay.

"Excellent shield spell, Kagome." Kaede remarked from the her place against the brick wall, her coal eyes shimmering with praise. Kagome turned her head and beamed at the elderly miko. "Perhaps you are ready to defend yourself against something a bit more dastardly than a feather?" Her eyes drifted towards Shippo "Maybe a kitsune-bi?"

The fox's mouth gaped in muted horror, barely having survived attacking Kagome the first time. "I…" He faltered.

"Damn it, kit," Griped a new voice, "It's a kitsune-bi, not a fucking ball of fire. That attack couldn't knock her over, never mind kill her."

Kagome turned in surprise to see Inu-Yasha's red-clad legs hanging off the slope of the engawa's roof. He had been sitting there before the rain had started, and out of sheer stubbornness, decided the light shower was not going to move him from his spot. His bare feet swung slightly toward the garden, dirt and water falling on the wooden floor of the porch. Annoyed at his behavior, Kagome yelled back, "Shippo's attack is a ball of blue flames you idiot. And stop making this harder for him!" Her mind idly wondered exactly how long he had been listening in on her training session.

"Harder for him?" The hanyou snorted incredulously. "You're fucking nuts if you think you can get the brat to throw any attack at you again! It took him for fucking ever to throw a feather at you! A _feather_!"

"Unlike some bastards," Shippo retorted huffily, drawing himself up to his full height to stare down the dog-demon's feet, "I don't _want_ to hurt Kagome!"

"Well you're certainly not helping her learn, stupid!"

"Then why don't you help her, Inu-Yasha?" Kaede suggested loudly, rubbing her temples in exasperation. Sometimes she wished she could just take Kagome back to her village and train her away from the distractions of the kitsune and the incredibly immature dog-demon. Since that was not among her available options, she was forced to baby-sit the two while she attempted to teach. "Since you are obviously so devoted to Kagome's learning, why don't you throw a _light" _She deliberately over-emphasized the word 'light', "attack at Kagome so she can practice?"

Kagome knew from the moment that Inu-Yasha hopped down from the roof that that was an incredibly bad idea. The hanyou leapt from the garden floor onto the wooden ledge of engawa, a dangerous gleam dancing in his amber eyes. He shook himself off violently to get dry, water flew all over the flowers. Gulping as he made his way over to her, she couldn't help but feel like a deer being stalked by a wolf. Kagome usually had a profound respect for the advice of the elderly miko, but at this moment she began to wonder if she was becoming a tad senile. That old woman was about to cost Kagome her _life_.

Inu-Yasha moved to stand in front of her, pushing the small kitsune out of the way with his leg. He didn't bother to hide his grin as he told her "I'm only gonna warn you once before I attack."

For some reason Kagome's lips refused to move from their position of opened mouth disbelief. She tried to say she wasn't ready, that she knew he was going to do something stupid, that she wanted to go back to Shippo throwing feathers at her. All that came out of her lead lips was "Uh…"

Inu-Yasha nodded as if that were some sort of an acquiescence, instead of a noise of terror. Licking his lips, Inu-Yasha crouched into a fighting stance. "Ready ?" Kagome's mouth opening and closing was his only answer. "Here I come!" Catapulting himself at Kagome, he threw his right arm into the air as if to slash her with his claws.

Squeaking, Kagome dived to the side, causing Inu-Yasha to trip over her leg. The hanyou yelped as he hit his head on the floor, before managing to do a somersault to return to a crouching position. She moved the hands covering her face to peer at Inu-Yasha as he rubbed his head irritably.

Kaede had managed to foresee something of this sort occurring, and had wisely moved to the side before the jumbled mess of dog demon came at her. She clapped sarcastically, "Well done, Inu-Yasha, you have helped Kagome practice her dodging skills! Not exactly what I had in mind, but good job nonetheless, Kagome."

Inu-Yasha sulked as he massaged the bump forming on his skull, glaring at Kagome. "Bitch."

Merely sniffing in response, she brushed off her kimono and stood up. "You knew I wasn't ready, Inu-Yasha. What did you think I would do?"

"Mikos should be able to put up energy shields under pressure!"

"And," Kaede interrupted, "They should know when to not bother and get the hell out of the way of a lunatic." She turned toward Kagome, who had gathered Shippo in her arms. "I think that is a fitting conclusion to our morning lessons, don't you Kagome? Why don't we take a break until after lunch?"

"But-" Inu-Yasha tried to protest.

"I am definitely ready for lunch!" Kagome ignored Inu-Yasha, sweeping past him to walk back inside the castle with Kaede.

"Wait-"

"See you at dinner Inu-Yasha!" Kagome called over her shoulder before the door shut, leaving the hanyou alone on the engawa.

"Stupid, stubborn wench…" Inu-Yasha griped before making his way back onto the roof.

Much to Kagome's surprise, life went on after her marriage to Inu-Yasha. For a while she had entertained the notion that time itself would stop out of protest or horror, or just because it would be the sensible thing to do. Instead, the hours, days, and weeks seemed to dart by. She had been married to Inu-Yasha for a month now. A whole month. And here she had thought she would die by the third day. In actuality, the third day was relatively peaceful in comparison to the second. Kouga had failed to show up since his fight with Inu-Yasha. Taisho had been relatively well behaved at the dinner table, choosing to make dirty jokes and discuss the political struggles of the Western Lands than to prod into Inu-Yasha's and her sex life. Miroku had left the next week on another 'holy quest' to one of the nearby mountain villages, which conveniently had a renowned geisha house. But that was the kind of suffering Miroku was willing to endure, for the greater good, of course.

Inu-Yasha and Kagome still fought at least once a day, but the argument never ended with the bitter aftertaste the battles of the first week had had. Each could see the silent understanding in the other's eyes. They were partners for the next few months, for better or worse. Neither would do anything that would have jeopardized the other's interests, but they would annoy each other from time to time. Besides, it gave Kagome a chance to come up with new and creative insults. While Inu-Yasha may have stuck to his usual refrain of "bitch", "fucking bitch" or "wench", Kagome chose to try and learn the most out of living with the world's biggest tight ass, developing a whole new repertoire of ways to call him an idiot.

What surprised Kagome the most about her relationship with Inu-Yasha was the fact that they had formed a normal, and increasingly comfortable routine. Most days Kagome would wake up in the morning to the smell of breakfast steaming by the edge of the futon, placed there by Inu-Yasha, who awoke much earlier than her. It still bothered her that she woke up alone in his bed, but over the weeks she had come to accept it. Shippo would come bouncing in with a good morning hug, and would accompany her to her lessons with Kaede. The three of them would break for lunch, and explore the forests surrounding the Yamura castle in search of new spots to hold picnics. Kagome's personal favorite was a little lake with a tall, gnarled tree whose branches wove and twisted in all directions. She thought the tree looked something like an old, open hand, outstretched to grasp the sky. She dragged Kaede and Shippo there at least once a week.

After lunch, Kagome would continue her lessons with Kaede. Being taught by Kaede was so different from being taught by her grandfather. Kaede taught with calm, unhurried voice, gently pressing Kagome to always push herself further, but never to rush. Her grandfather had been so desperate for her to learn he had overwhelmed her with information. He taught her the history of archery, how to hold a bow and arrow, and how to find the best wood for making a bow in the same breath. His excitement and hope was almost too much for her to bear at times, because he expected her to learn so much, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. It reached the point where she had to teach herself archery, practicing outside after he had gone to sleep. The comforting thing about Kaede was there seemed to be no way to disappoint her, as long as Kagome tried, the old miko seemed pleased enough. Besides, she looked like an angel when compared to the antics of Inu-Yasha.

Inu-Yasha sometimes joined them to watch Kagome practice, either to heckle her or give his unwanted opinion on her progress. Each time he showed up uninvited she had every intention of ignoring him. Even his presence seemed to poke her repeatedly in the ribs however. She felt jittery around him; her cheeks grew hot, and she wanted to punch him just for being around her. The young miko found the hanyou impossible to disregard; he seemed to instinctively know how to push all her buttons.

After her lessons Kagome would freshen up, and join Inu-Yasha's family for dinner. She was very proud of the fact that she had convinced Shippo to join the family for supper. The feat took much cajoling, many hugs, and personal invitation from Taisho. Inu-Yasha pretended to be annoyed (she told herself and everyone else he pretended, and would not consider evidence to the contrary), saying the brat would ruin his appetite. Shippo and Inu-Yasha did bicker constantly during meals. Dinner often ended with Inu-Yasha's arms wildly thrashing in the air, while Shippo poked and tweaked his ears, with Taisho and Kagome chiding the hanyou for picking on a child in the background. Yet even with all of Inu-Yasha's whining and grumbling, the addition of Shippo to the dinner table had made the atmosphere feel more homey to Kagome, and lightened the dreary, stony room considerably.

Sesshoumaru had recently begun joining the family for dinner again, after discussions of Inu-Yasha's sex life ceased. He mostly sat primly at the table, casting dirty looks at Takiko, who would shiver in response, keeping her head low. Kagome had tried to stop this when she saw what was going on, sitting next to her at each supper, with Inu-Yasha sitting across from her, and Shippo sitting next to him. Sesshoumaru still glared at Takiko, but Takiko couldn't see his eyes from where she was sitting. Sometimes Kagome even invited Kaede to dinner, to enlarge the barrier between dog demon prince and his stepmother.

Kagome had also begun to spend considerable time with Takiko. Their friendship had started with Kagome's attempts to distract the woman from Sesshoumaru's incessant glowering at the dinner table through conversation. Through their conversations, Kagome discovered that her new mother-in-law had a passion for gardening. Takiko also had incredible knowledge of the medicinal and magical properties of plants. One day a week she would teach Kagome to garden, and to spot and cultivate certain medicinal plants. They started out gardening for only an hour or two, but the woman immediately took to Kagome, and their sessions grew longer and longer, until they were in the garden talking and working from morning till dusk. The young miko also invited Takiko to eat lunch with Kaede, Shippo and herself occasionally.

Every Sunday, Kagome, Inu-Yasha, Shippo and Takiko would go to the marketplace in the nearby village. They went not so much to buy things, so much as to give the miko and her mother-in-law a chance to mingle among people. Inu-Yasha had thought it a bad idea, but Kagome's starry eyed vision of making friends in the village would not be deterred. They went the first Sunday after the wedding, and Kagome skipped joyfully into the village to meet the curious, suspicious, and judgmental stares of the townsfolk. She was disheartened by the prejudice of the villagers, who at first would not sell anything to Takiko or herself because they were married to demons (they eventually complied once Inu-Yasha testily reminded them that their village would not be demon free without the protection of the Lord of the Western Lands).

Kagome did find a friend or two in the village though. One of which was the last person she had ever expected to see again, Inu-Yasha's best man from the wedding. Hiko had been the sole person to welcome their presence on the group's first trip to the marketplace. He spotted Kagome while he was across the way in a tavern, downing his first sake of the day. She was in front of one vender, trying to buy a piece of jewelry, only to be yelled at by the man. Immediately running to her side, he defended her against the villager. To get rid of the embarrassment of Kagome and the lush in front of his small shop, the man threw the piece of jewelry at her, saying it was free as long as she left. Kagome handed the necklace back to the man, much to the surprise of both the shop's owner, and Hiko, stating she wouldn't do business with someone who wouldn't respect her, and walked away. Hiko caught up to her as she marched off, unable to deny his urge to see the little girl he had abandoned so long ago.

He took the group to the tavern for lunch. The most he could give Kagome was a vague wisp of a story about his past without telling her who he was to her. Inu-Yasha seemed to have no hard feelings about him passing out at his wedding, simply grumbling that Hiko was a better alternative than his brother. From then on, every Sunday, Hiko faithfully showed up to have lunch with Kagome and the others, sobering up for a few hours for his daughter's sake. The desire for Hiko to tell her his identity was overwhelming, it was almost painful for him when she looked at him as an acquaintance. But he told himself that she deserved a father who was honorable, even if it was just the memory of a father who had died honorably, and had not abandoned his wife and family.

So the weeks went on and had turned into a whole month. This was an event Taisho thought should be celebrated, and since Taisho was never one to keep his opinions to himself, he made his view known at the dinner table that night. Especially since Miroku had come back to the castle for a few days. One had to take advantage of the cavalry while you had it. "So…Inu-Yasha," He opened the conversation casually, trying to lull his son into a false state of security. "What did you and Kagome do for your one month anniversary?"

Sesshoumaru groaned, dropping his napkin in frustration. "I thought we decided not to talk about the mating habits of the whelp and his bitch."

Inu-Yasha stiffened, instantly knowing he was not going to like this discussion. Although he had been counting every day and hour until his freedom, he decided to feign ignorance. "It's been a month already?" He grunted, keeping his eyes trained on the steak in front of him.

"Actually, I think it's been a little over a month," Taisho rubbed his bearded chin in an imitation of deep thought "That is why I asked what you _did _instead of what you are _doing_."

No, chuckling at his shitty humor would only give away that we haven't done anything… "Well, you know how I hate celebrating things… I don't even like birthday parties." He really didn't, especially since anytime in his childhood when they had tried to throw a birthday party for him, his family (and Miroku when he grew older), were usually the only ones in attendance. He had no friends, the village kids all thought he was a freak. So he was forced to celebrate the day of his birth with a bunch of people who wished he had never been born.

"But your mother always threw such great parties for you!" Bringing his mother into the argument was really a low blow, even for Taisho, but he would get what he wanted even if he had to use emotional blackmail.

His son's golden eyes hardened into brass. "How would you know? You weren't there for most of them. You only came to maybe two of them before I turned eighteen."

**Apparently two can play at emotional blackmail**, Taisho thought as Inu-Yasha's words pierced him. "I had a job to do son," He replied solemnly, refusing to back down or be sorry for something he considered a duty. "I have to protect the Western Lands, not just for the sake of the people and demons depending on me, but for you and your mother as well." He shrugged off his serious posture as quickly as he had put it on. "Besides, I heard all about your parties from your mother and the staff."

Inu-Yasha snorted. "And that's just as good as being there, I'm sure."

"It was the best I could do son." Taisho answered wearily, even at home he had to fight for every inch of space, especially for space in his own child's esteem. "Besides, I am here now!" He added brightly, his gregarious spirit refusing to give in to the depressing turn the conversation was taking. "So, about throwing a party for you crazy lovebirds-"

"Actually Taisho-sama," Kagome decided to take over the fight before Inu-Yasha committed hara-kiri at the dinner table, "I also don't like big parties. They're just so much work, and I really prefer spending time with close family and friends, like you, Takiko, Shippo, and Miroku-"

"And Sesshoumaru of course." Taisho added for her with a bemused look, knowing that Kagome and he had barely said two words to each other.

"Of course." She nodded absently. Abruptly she perked up on her pillow, struck with an idea, "Now that you mention it, I had been hoping to visit my family for our one month anniversary. I want to share my joy with them, and let my mother know how wonderful my life has been here." A little subtle flattery never failed to get her what she wanted with Taisho.

"I don't know…" Taisho stalled, having hoped to be able to get the two to do something more romantic.

"Wouldn't you prefer going to see my family to a big party with all of your relatives, Inu-Yasha?" Kagome asked her husband with saccharine sweetness, her eyes alight with thunderous threats. **It's either my family or yours buddy, those are your only choices. **She desperately wanted to see her brother, her grandfather, Buyo, and especially her mother. There was no way she was going to let this opportunity slip by her.

The hanyou eyed her wearily. He could tell she wouldn't take 'no' for answer this time, at least not before screeching at him like an angry cat. In any case, her family was preferable to his demon relatives leering at Kagome and himself. Inu-Yasha had done a reasonably good job at keeping them off of her back, making sure she was never alone, making sure she avoided the parts of castle (which meant most of the castle) where they lurked , just waiting for an opportunity to say something. Why let his efforts go to waste now?

But the new moonis coming up… The only concern was that if they left now, he would be vulnerable while he and Kagome were at her family's shrine. He had managed to keep his secret from her while still leaving her protected during the last new moon. Miroku had kept her busy downstairs for an hour or two after dinner, and Kagome had come back upstairs to find him locked in the bathroom, 'sick'. Although annoyed because she had been unable to take a bath, she seemed to have bought his excuse, simply going to bed. When she woke up the next morning, Inu-Yasha was 'better', and had breakfast waiting for her as usual. He had been planning to use the same strategy for the coming new moon, which was partly why Miroku had conveniently decided to spend a week at the castle. The strategy wouldn't work if they were traveling, however.

As if reading his thoughts, Miroku chimed in "Actually, could I come too? I don't mean to the Higurashi Shrine, only on the journey. I have a friend I want to visit a village away from Kagome's."

Taisho raised an eyebrow. "Now really, Miroku, is an anniversary trip the place for a monk?"

The houshi grinned broadly, "Absolutely." Somewhere to his right he heard Kagome choke on whatever she was eating. He immediately switched tactics, and facades, lowering his head humbly. "One might not consider it normal, but I feel it would be the best course of action in this case, Yamura-sama. I only insist for Inu-Yasha and Kagome's safety, of course. Just think of it" His hand waved dramatically in the air, as if creating a picture of some sort. "The two young love birds are gazing deep," His eyes closed, his chest rose as his hands clasped onto his chest "Deep, into each others eyes, and -" Miroku paused for effect "They are both brutally massacred by a band of wolf youkai because they are too distracted by love." The monk shook his head sadly, mourning the fate of his friend sitting a few seats away from him.

The Lord of the Western Lands could do nothing more than stare slack jawed at the monk for a moment. **Where does he come up with this crap?** "No son of mine… would ever be too distracted to fight off a band of wolf demons."

Sesshoumaru was amazed at his father's blind faith in Inu-Yasha. Hadn't he ever seen the idiot in action? "Actually Father," He corrected, "Inu-Yasha barely managed to defeat the wolf prince Kouga a month ago. There is no way that poor excuse for a dog demon could take on entire band of wolf youkai." Sometimes he felt much older than his father; it was extraordinarily irksome.

"Besides, it is not that I doubt Inu-Yasha's skill, Lord Yamura, but this is the first time that Lady Kagome and Inu-Yasha have traveled so far from the realm of the castle. Not to mention Kouga did infer during his last visit to Kagome he would be back for her. I only mean to suggest we err on the side of caution."

Taisho was always impressed by the many roles Miroku could play; monk, jester, lecher, politician, thief, and diplomat, he put on each façade as if he were simply putting on a hat. He was tempted to applaud. Mulling over the arguments he had heard, he did have to admit Kagome hadn't seen her family in a month, and that was a long time for a girl who had never been away from home before. Sitting straighter on his cushion, he pounded his fist on the table to indicate he had made a decision. "I think it is a great idea that Inu-Yasha and Kagome go to her family shrine for to celebrate their one month anniversary. Miroku is welcomed to join them on their journey and aid Inu-Yasha in keeping Kagome safe."

The momentary silence was interrupted by Inu-Yasha's hollow laugh. The dog demon raised a thick snowy eyebrow in warning toward his son "Do you have something to say, Inu-Yasha?"

**Why are you still deciding everything in my life? Where I go, who I go with, who I marry? Why do you always interfere? Do you care about my opinion at all? Why do you find it easier to treat me like a subject than a son? **Inu-Yasha dragged his eyes to stare vacantly at his father. "No."

"Then it is settled! You leave tomorrow."

**Why is it easier to treat me like a subject than a son?**

"Bye Miroku!" Kagome waved, watching as the monk made his way to a large hut on the side of the small village. She wasn't surprised when he called out and a girl, not much older than herself, came out of the hut. What astonished her was the girl didn't seem to be a geisha; she was dressed in a conservative kimono, her long hair hanging primly down her back. Though she couldn't hear their conversation, she could guess what the houshi said when the woman reached up and slapped his face. He only smiled, rubbing his cheek, and followed her back inside the hut, trying vainly to reach for her butt.

"Hey Inu-Yasha," She called to the hanyou, who was already heading back toward the large barrier walls the village had built to protect itself, "Who is Miroku visiting?"

"An old friend of his, this demon exterminator wench." He said off-handedly over his shoulder. Continuing to walk, he motioned for her to catch up with him. Her satchel was slung over his back, containing four days rations, and some clothes. When she had asked why he didn't bring anything with him, he responded that he was a wasn't a woman, and changing clothes every three hours was ridiculous any way. He ignored her snide comment about going to the extreme in the opposite direction: he wore the same outfit every day.

"Have you met her?" She asked as he helped her up onto their horse, which was waiting just outside the barriers. Her husband had thought it pointless to travel by horseback, saying something she didn't quite understand about being able to go faster than a horse. His father had simply replied that what he was suggesting was 'no way to travel with a lady', a comment which made Kagome even more curious.

"Once, but she seemed a little uncomfortable around me… being a demon exterminator and all." Inu-Yasha hopped up on the horse behind her, reaching around to grab the reins before kicking the horse's side to get it to move. In spite of their relationship, he still felt strange about being so close to her. His arms kept brushing against her sides as he held the reins, his legs kept rubbing against hers. He tried futilely to position himself in a diagonal position, so that his legs would somehow point in the direction of the horses rear, only to find his nose in Kagome's hair, which still smelled intoxicatingly like raspberries. He kept struggling, to the point that Kagome finally yelled at him and threatened to take over the reins, even though she had little experience riding horses.

Whenever he tried to distance himself from her, he just found himself nearer to some part of her. What made this so annoying was this was part of a rather alarming trend for Inu-Yasha. Fighting with her didn't seem to help push her away, at least not permanently. Every time they made up, or rather Kagome found some way to make her peace with him, he just felt more comfortable with her, more reassured by her presence. It was like she wasn't going to let him screw up, and even if he did, she would find a way to fix it.

In vain, Inu-Yasha had even tried to entice her interest in Miroku at the end of the first week of their marriage, hoping that it would make him less attracted to her. When he tried to broach the subject subtlety (You like Miroku, don't you?), she had only shrugged him off, saying that he was too lecherous for her taste. She just ranted about his last attempt to grab her ass. When Inu-Yasha had begun to defend the monk, and list his few positive qualities, and she actually started to come around, admitting that he was intelligent and attractive, he couldn't take it. He blew up at her and stormed off, unable to take the thought of her with the bouzo.

He tried to spend less time near her, only to find her spending more time with his mother, which he couldn't help but be grateful for. Even more disturbing was that the less time he spent with her, the more he thought about the time they spent together. The way her eyes sparkled when she was angry was permanently imprinted on his brain, as was her laugh, that full bodied sound which came from her gut, yet still somehow managed to sound as light as silver. Try as he might, he couldn't even stop thinking about their nights together, even though they had caused him many headaches and a great deal of embarrassment. His mind wandered through memories of the curves of her body, her sighs, and moans with no regard for Inu-Yasha's wishes. Twice a week they would put on a show for his father, making it seem as if he had claimed her as his mate. Every time it became harder to keep control, and to not actually claim her there and then. Just touching her was becoming almost more than he could bear.

The urge to abandon himself and drown in her became a siren song always in his head, constantly pulling at his consciousness. Being around her was stifling, Inu-Yasha felt like he couldn't breathe most of the time. He had been thrown in this sea of confusion by his father, forced to be in some semblance of a relationship with Kagome. He couldn't let his father win, he couldn't let himself forget Kikyo. Nearly once a day he found himself banging his head into a tree, saying over and over again "This isn't real, it's just for six months! Kikyo is real, she is not Kikyo!" Yet his attraction to Kagome just grew, the song becoming deafening as Inu-Yasha tried not to sink further.

Still lost in thought, Inu-Yasha was surprised when the Higurashi Shrine came into sight. Suddenly remembering himself, he gulped, looking up at the sky. The sun was high in this sky, it was a little after mid-day. That still left him plenty of time to find an excuse to leave before sunset for the night. He had hoped that since Miroku was traveling with them, he would have agreed to slow their traveling down a little so they wouldn't reach their destination till the new moon. The monk was in a hurry for some reason, however, and thought he should tell Kagome anyway. "There is no way you can hide your… situation from her for six months, Inu-Yasha. Might as well tell her now. What is the worst that could happen?"

**The worst that could happen is she blabs my secret to the wrong person and I get killed because of it you fucking bouzo, **he had told the priest so at the time, but he repeated it to himself in the hopes that he could somehow mentally slap the monk from far away. There was no way he was going to trust that information to a girl he had known for a month. Only his mother and father knew about the new moon. It wasn't like he actually even wanted his father to know, but he didn't have any control over who knew his condition when he was an infant. No, he would keep this from her if it was the last thing he did.

Ducking under Inu-Yasha's arms, Kagome hurled herself from the horse. She scrambled to her feet when she reached the ground with a thud, breaking out into a run up the stairs that led to her family shrine. It didn't matter that she scraped her knees when she jumped, all that mattered was getting to her family. "Kaa-san! Souta! Ji-chan!"

"Kagome?!" Within an instant Higurashi-san rushed out the door of the house, racing down the steps to meet her daughter. Tears brimming in her eyes, she finally reached Kagome, enfolding her in a tight hug. Both mother and daughter stood there for a long while, laughing and crying at the same time.

Inu-Yasha awkwardly brought the horse to the front of the shrine steps, averting his eyes. This was one of the most intimate, heartfelt moments he had ever witnessed, and he felt wholly out of place. The moment seemed as if it should be painted on someone's wall, and there he was ruining the composition, that red thing in the background that everyone stares at and wonders what the hell it is doing there. Choosing not to spoil the moment between the two, lest he be ensnared in the moment and forced to hug someone, he quickly made his way up the stairs and into the shrine.

Wandering aimlessly through the holy place, he wondered where the best spot to put Kagome's bags would be. He considered just dropping it among the candles and statues in the simple sanctuary, but he knew the wench would just chew him out about it later. Lost in thought, he took in the magnificent red and gold tapestries draped along the wall, and the golden sculptures dedicated to different ancestors. His hands reached out with a mind of it's own, tentatively moving to touch one of the particularly ornate sculptures of what seemed to be a dragon.

"Inu-Yasha-oni-chan!" The boy's voice abruptly called to him, causing him to jump five feet away from the statue and land in a warrior's crouched stance. The muscles in his shoulders relaxed a little when he saw it was only Souta, Kagome's kid brother.

"Keh. Hey kid." He greeted off-handedly, proceeding to return to his perusing of the shrine, although a tad more carefully.

Souta just smiled at him from the entrance of the shrine "You can relax, oni-chan! You don't have to pretend with me!" He said reassuringly, his chest held high with pride. "I know your secret!" His hand cupped his mouth in a conspiratorial fashion.

That immediately caught Inu-Yasha's attention, his eyes widening as he looked at the child in shock. His secret? This nine year old knew his secret? How was it possible… unless his loudmouth father had told Kagome and her family! Why hadn't she said anything? Was she just to damned polite to ask? Was that why she'd suggested they come to the shrine, because she thought it would be a safe place for him during the new moon? Did she do it out of pity? Why did everyone act like they had the goddamn right to run his life?! Stomping over to Souta, who still smiled at him in adoration, he grabbed the kid under his arms and lifted him off the ground. "Alright," He snarled, "Who told you and how many people know?"

(The set of masterpiece theater has been stripped of all of the furniture, even the fireplace, in anticipation that there might be some violent outburst in the next ten minutes. Sango and Miroku sit on the floor, tapping their feet anxiously, extraordinarily annoyed that Rambler took their chairs too.)

Miroku: (Grumbling) It should have been here by now!

Sango: (Pauses in her foot tapping) Wait…. Do you hear that?

Miroku: (Listens intently, suddenly hears the Hallelujah Chorus)

Earl the Lawyer: (Comes out dressed in a white suit, playing a harp) The divine Rambler wishes to thank you for your hard work-

Miroku: Yeah, yeah, give me my payment already!!! (Lightning strikes the set, a foot away from Miroku)

Earl the Lawyer: (Glares) Do not interrupt me boy! (Straightens his suit out a little and begins to play the harp) Rambler would like to thank you two for all your hard work, for without you this story would not be nearly so funny. (Sighs dramatically) You are the wind beneath the story's wings! You allow it to take flight! You are the foundation upon which this story stands! You are- well… you get the picture. And so, without further ado, here is your payment! (bows dramatically as a stream of light falls for the sky, and lands in Miroku's hands)

Sango: (Scowls) Hey! Where is mine?

Miroku: (Cackles a little as he looks at the catalogue in his hands) hehe….hahahah…..hehe.. MWAHAHAHA….. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sango: (Peers over at the catalogue in Miroku's hand) It's just a stupid book with women in lingerie. What is so special about that?

Miroku: (Looks at her evilly) Oh, you'll see… They'll ALL see! (insert extraordinarily demented grin here. He flips through the catalogue, looking at one of the pages. He points to one of the girls on the page, shouting) Number C8812, in pink!

Sango: (Suddenly her cloths are transformed into a small pink satin nightie that hugs her curves and barely covers her ass. The nightie has a fluffy pink lining along her breasts, covering them from the readers' eyes, it also has a bunny tail on Sango's butt to match. Sango tries to cover herself up with her hands , crossing her legs, but it is no use.) WHAT IN THE HELLS???!!!!

Miroku: (Triumphantly holds the catalogue up in his hand, waving it around like a flag) This is no ordinary catalogue, this is a VICTORIAS SECRET CATALOGUE! Not only that! But I just have to say the number of the item, and the girl nearest me is instantly IN IT!!!! SWEET BUDDHA! THE POWER!!! (continues to laugh malevolently, inching his way toward Sango's rear end and Sango runs about the empty stage looking for anything to cover her. Right when Miroku is about to pinch the bunny tail of Sango's nightie, the Hallelujah Chorus intervenes. Another beam of light drops from the sky.)

Sango: Finally! My payment! Stand back monk! ( Instead of moving toward Sango, the beam hit's the priests hands, which were a centimeter away from the tail, causing him to drop the magazine. A pair of silver handcuffs are suddenly on his hands)

Miroku: (Quickly picking up the catalogue again, he looks at the handcuffs. He grins at her) Why Sango, I didn't know you were so kinky!

Sango: (Scoffs, smiling in satisfied triumph) Just try me houshi-sama… You have no idea what you are in for.

Miroku: (Gives her a patronizing look) Surely you didn't think these would stop me…It just forces me to be a little more creative… (Grins slyly as he reaches both hands toward her breasts. He gasps in surprise as he is suddenly receives an electric jolt).

Sango: (Smirks as Miroku twitches and tries to get his hair to go back down) Anytime you try to grope a woman houshi-sama, those handcuffs will electrocute you! Your days of lechery are OVER!!!!

Miroku: (Pouts a little, before his eyes return to the catalogue. The creepy demonic grin returns) Oh but Sango, even though I can't touch, I can always look! (He awkwardly flips through his catalogue once again) Number R7725, in yellow!

Sango: (Finds herself in a canary yellow corset and thong, and blushes beet red.) EEK!!! (She runs off stage trying to cover herself while shaking her fist at him) This isn't over monk!

Miroku: (Follows her, still carrying the catalogue in his handcuffed hands, cackling) Number T34599! (A squeal can be heard from offstage)

Earl the Lawyer: (Still calmly holding the harp) Hopefully they will have calmed down enough to host the next chapter… Anyhoo, remember to review! (Smiles to himself) Hey! I rhymed!


End file.
